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I know, I settled.. I'm seeing this guy who treats me like a complete dude... his buddy.. he smacks me back (kind of hard!) if I smack him playfully, he says things like "you still owe me a drink from that last time" and "you can crash here".. ugh... I just got so tired of being alone and lonely.. All my female friends have literally ditched me/became too busy for me, my family doesn't like to communicate.. I swear it gets lonelier when you get older. But believe it or not, he's actually the first guy to treat me better than the rest of the douches I've dated since almost two years ago... or it felt that way.
I guess I like him because we have interesting conversations and we click well.. and I've told him that when it's going well, it's really great... when I'm upset he can tell and pushes to know what's up. I've brought things up before and he has done some to change it or tells me he's working on it. IE: he thought PDA was stupid and would never touch me in public.. he walked really fast ahead of me one night and it made me feel ashamed. I told him and the next time I saw him, the first thing he did was grab my hand and kiss me in public.
I know it's easy for some of you to just say, look for someone else.. believe me, I'VE TRIED. It's not that easy, especially trying to find someone who cares more about you beyond your looks and sex and when they're extremely lonely, or treating you like a play thing.. making plans with you, having you meet him somewhere only to stand you up with some lame excuse.
I think I still hold on to him because I know he hasn't had a real gf before and he can be immature.. but I believe he has the potential to be better than the guys I've dated in the past.. it's just that he's not up to that level yet and it makes me upset thinking about it.. I don't want to seem snarky and say something like "call me when you're all grown up".
Well, I'm moving away in a month anyway, and we've both agreed to break up when it's time.. I guess we both know it's not the real deal and we're hanging on for different reasons..
If you're leaving in a month, then why even worry about it? It's not so bad spending time alone. I just recently broke up with my ex and have been quite scared to do so, but how can you really know what you want in in a man if you don't even know yourself as a woman?
It still makes me uneasy when I think about being by myself, but I'm getting used to it.
When I need to be "social" I'll come on city-data forum, call/text my mom or grandma or just log on FB and like a few pictures.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Well. He sounds a little clueless, but he is trying. That's pretty huge. If he is trainable then might be worth the investment, but since you're leaving, it is what it is.
And you have to figure out how not to be lonely even when you're not in a relationship. That will be a killer throughout your life if it is how you view things.
Well. He sounds a little clueless, but he is trying. That's pretty huge. If he is trainable then might be worth the investment, but since you're leaving, it is what it is.
And you have to figure out how not to be lonely even when you're not in a relationship.That will be a killer throughout your life if it is how you view things.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut
It's a common mistake most women make; you can't teach an old dog new tricks.
You know, I don't know how much I buy that. It's harder, but hey, there were instances here where she was vocal about something that bothered her and instead of poo pooing her, he reacted like he didn't realize what he was doing bothered her and changed what he was doing as if he was genuinely concerned. When she's in a bad place he tries to get her to communicate about it with him. Those are positives. At least that is how I read it. Now, we don't know if he reverts back quickly, and certainly he's not going to win Mr. Suave of the year, but it seems like he's a decent dude that just is short on clues. It happens.
I know, I settled.. I'm seeing this guy who treats me like a complete dude... his buddy.. he smacks me back (kind of hard!) if I smack him playfully, he says things like "you still owe me a drink from that last time" and "you can crash here".. ugh... I just got so tired of being alone and lonely.. All my female friends have literally ditched me/became too busy for me, my family doesn't like to communicate.. I swear it gets lonelier when you get older. But believe it or not, he's actually the first guy to treat me better than the rest of the douches I've dated since almost two years ago... or it felt that way.
I guess I like him because we have interesting conversations and we click well.. and I've told him that when it's going well, it's really great... when I'm upset he can tell and pushes to know what's up. I've brought things up before and he has done some to change it or tells me he's working on it. IE: he thought PDA was stupid and would never touch me in public.. he walked really fast ahead of me one night and it made me feel ashamed. I told him and the next time I saw him, the first thing he did was grab my hand and kiss me in public.
I know it's easy for some of you to just say, look for someone else.. believe me, I'VE TRIED. It's not that easy, especially trying to find someone who cares more about you beyond your looks and sex and when they're extremely lonely, or treating you like a play thing.. making plans with you, having you meet him somewhere only to stand you up with some lame excuse.
I think I still hold on to him because I know he hasn't had a real gf before and he can be immature.. but I believe he has the potential to be better than the guys I've dated in the past.. it's just that he's not up to that level yet and it makes me upset thinking about it.. I don't want to seem snarky and say something like "call me when you're all grown up".
Well, I'm moving away in a month anyway, and we've both agreed to break up when it's time.. I guess we both know it's not the real deal and we're hanging on for different reasons..
I think it's a good thing you're getting away from him.
I'm not really sure what the question is here. If you're moving and you've both already agreed to break up when you move, then what's the issue? Why would either of you invest any emotion knowing that in a month you'll be breaking up?
Just hang out together and enjoy each other's company. It doesn't look like he's romantically interested so just hang out as buddies.
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