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Okay okay okay let me clarify a few things. This has been an ongoing argument for quite some time two years plus. I do not mind her going out with friends but I do mind bars and clubs. I do not want her to sit at home nor do I expect her to. I did not come on here to ask for answers I asked for advice on how to approach it to get it resolved. I have scheduled an appointment for counseling and hope this can be worked out. Funny how once you start a post it gets thrown off track. One more thing I go to the club and bar also but only and I repeat only with her. I do enjoy these places but only with her. Single men go to clubs to pick up woman and that's an obvious statement so why is it Okay for a woman to be put in that environment ever look at it that way?
Okay okay okay let me clarify a few things. This has been an ongoing argument for quite some time two years plus. I do not mind her going out with friends but I do mind bars and clubs. I do not want her to sit at home nor do I expect her to. I did not come on here to ask for answers I asked for advice on how to approach it to get it resolved. I have scheduled an appointment for counseling and hope this can be worked out. Funny how once you start a post it gets thrown off track. One more thing I go to the club and bar also but only and I repeat only with her. I do enjoy these places but only with her. Single men go to clubs to pick up woman and that's an obvious statement so why is it Okay for a woman to be put in that environment ever look at it that way?
Look, I'm on your side here, but honestly you are just making yourself look more and more like the problem.
Just because single men go to clubs to pick up women does not mean a married woman has no right to ever go to a club with her girlfriends!
Bottom line is you either trust your wife or you don't.
Since you apparently don't, THAT is the issue you two need to speak to a counselor about.
How the heck is this about trust? I do not like a drunk man hitting on my wife. Do I believe she is gonna turn it down sure do but to be put in the environment where she draws that attention is wrong period.
How the heck is this about trust? I do not like a drunk man hitting on my wife. Do I believe she is gonna turn it down sure do but to be put in the environment where she draws that attention is wrong period.
If you really trust her, then trust her ability to handle herself in any and all situations.
She's a big girl, I'm sure she knows how to deal with a guy who might try to pick her up.
If you REALLY believe that nothing is happening..... ugh. Just ugh. It's a foolish belief, let me put it that way. Naive and foolish.
Since you're asking about this, I have a hard time believing that you ACTUALLY buy that load of bull. Maybe you don't consciously realize it, but on a sub-conscious level you know "something ain't right here".
At the absolute very least, she's demonstrated to you quite effectively that she has NO respect for you. None. Zero. Zip. Zilch.
Why are you still with this woman? Why haven't you shown her the door? Things will NOT get better; she won't just magically 'grow' respect for you all of a sudden. She'll just happily spend whatever you're making from your job that conveniently takes you away from home when she wants to 'have a little fun', and then when she gets bored with you she will happily have The System bend you over. AND she'll extract even MORE of what you've worked for from you.
Your choices are thus:
1) Continue living this way, and in a few years when she's put in enough time to get her maximum payout, she'll pull that big ol' eject lever and The State will give her cash and prizes (YOUR money and YOUR stuff)
2) Cut your losses now and be done with her.
The longer you continue on with her, the greater your loss will be WHEN she decides to cash out.
It is! lol, well at least a fun way. I really want to make the cards and make a deck now. When the other person is just saying something, pull out the appropriate card! hmm, what happens if you pull lose a turn and show it to her? Does that mean she has to quit talking/yelling? That would be great! lol.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43
No need to wonder, they always come back with glitter on them. It's a major PAIN to get out in the wash.
Seriously, the OP hasn't really given enough information to know where the problem lies.... is she there every weekend? Once a month on a girls night out? Is he friends with HER friends? Are they known as a bad influence or pretty cool? Has he had valid concerns with his wife's loyalty?
All of that makes a difference. If my husband was uncomfortable with something I would change it in a heartbeat. Luckily he is very reasonable, and I've never done anything to undermine that.
There are 2 issues here, one is the activity (clubs), and number two is more important (joke goes here), the respect that they have for each other.
Duly noted! I will make sure that never happens to me, thanks! lol.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NWGirl74
I meant has he suggested the alternatives to her. And most casinos I've been in are full of old people.
As a woman, I can attest to this. This is why some straight women frequent gay clubs-so they can go blow off steam and have a good time with their friends without having to worry about being hit on all night. Sometimes, we really do just want to go out and dance.
So once one gets married, they shouldn't be allowed to go out and have fun with their single friends anymore?
He said once or twice a month in one of his responses and that her friends are somewhat a source of problems. All are single except one who regularly cheats on her husband. He didn't mention how long they've been friends, however.
I didn't say that they couldn't go out with their single friends, but why does it have to be at a club or place where people are known to hook up at? She could easily go to a restaurant or someplace more suitable for those types of outings.
OP.. Regardless of what everyone else is saying, what matters is HOW YOU FEEL about it. If YOU feel like it's a problem, then it's a problem that needs to be addressed. If it's only that going to clubs and bars w/o you is whats bothering you and is causing trouble within your family and marriage, then I think that it's not to much to ask your wife to go anywhere else but bars and clubs... I do not think it's asking to much at all...
I haven't read every page of this thread, but what has been here response?
It is! lol, well at least a fun way. I really want to make the cards and make a deck now. When the other person is just saying something, pull out the appropriate card! hmm, what happens if you pull lose a turn and show it to her? Does that mean she has to quit talking/yelling? That would be great! lol.
Duly noted! I will make sure that never happens to me, thanks! lol.
I didn't say that they couldn't go out with their single friends, but why does it have to be at a club or place where people are known to hook up at? She could easily go to a restaurant or someplace more suitable for those types of outings.
I think that if it were a man who was going out to clubs and bars all the time and the wife had a problem with it, then a lot of current opinions would flip-flop. When a man has a problem with something like this, he must be insecure and over reacting. When women have this problem, it's justified and she needs to leave because the consensus would be that he is cheating or playing the field.
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