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If that's what she wanted, then I don't know why she is unhappy now.
But do be aware, for future reference, that if you don't propose before asking a gf to move to another state with you, and/or by the end of two years together even without a ring, gf is going to assume you are using her.
Not to be rude but I truly don't understand the perspective similar to what NilaJones presents. I think there are old school traditions that aren't realistic in todays world. I.e a 2 year relationship doesn't mark the guideline for an engagement. I think that concept has probably hurt plenty of relationships due to unrealistic expectations and not considering all the variables in play. Even though I wanted to propose to my GF a while back I will never feel guilty in trying to secure the best future I can for both of us.
Thanks Kat. The other posters are making sense to me right now. I do believe life and esp marriages get much tougher than this.So she wants to handle things so immaturely I need to really take heed. My soul object was to marry her and provide a good life for us two, which she refuses to believe for one reason or another. I will give her more space for now and mb write her a letter if she doesn't reach out. But I'm definitely getting annoyed and beginning to feel that Im actually the one that deserves better.
Im going to give you advice that you can take or leave it....Buy her a cheap engagement ring off ebay......iin 5 years buy her a nice VS1 with a D-E color, keep it within budget.....in another 5 years get her a near perfect B-C color stone.....it's ridiculous for a young couple to spend that kind of money when you first enter the job market. That money would be better suited put into investments and in a few years, buy a new condo.....If she gives you a lot of trouble going the budget way, then you need to seriously reconsider the marriage. If a ring's cost is more important that what it symbolizes, then you either better wait until she matures, or just forget about her. Every guy I know, who spent between 6-15000+ on an engagement ring is divorced, most within the first 5 years. It's a different story, if you have the money, but it sounds like that purchase will pinch you a little bit....and don't do something like get a new credit card, because that type of decision making, isn't healthy.
I really wanted to get her a ring but now is truly the worst timing financially as I have a big and expensive licensing exam to take next month before I can start working. The position im taking is for a 6 figure job with a great sign on bonus so its not like I will be strapped for cash and I have no school debt, . I'd feel awkward giving her, a lets say $100 ring bc I feel like she'd be embarrassed about it.
I am not saying that women should think this way, I am saying that they do. Mainly because it's what society tells them.
The convention is, you get engaged sometime in the second year. If you don't, your friends, your family, her friends, her family -- all of them will assume you two are not serious, and will treat you as if you are not.
And they will assume she is stupid for staying with you, and they will treat her like she is being duped.
All of this will be hard on your relationship. If you are sure you want to marry her, why put off the engagement?
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I'd feel awkward giving her, a lets say $100 ring bc I feel like she'd be embarrassed about it.
OIC. What guys do in that situation is they tell the girl, 'This is just a temporary ring until I can get you a real one.'
The point is that she is a bad choice for a wife. She sounds needy, like a little girl. There are way too many options to settle for someone like that..
I am not saying that women should think this way, I am saying that they do. Mainly because it's what society tells them.
The convention is, you get engaged sometime in the second year. If you don't, your friends, your family, her friends, her family -- all of them will assume you two are not serious, and will treat you as if you are not.
And they will assume she is stupid for staying with you, and they will treat her like she is being duped.
All of this will be hard on your relationship. If you are sure you want to marry her, why put off the engagement?
OIC. What guys do in that situation is they tell the girl, 'This is just a temporary ring until I can get you a real one.'
Yeah I get what your saying now Nila. However, I wanted to propose to her with what I believed was a more than acceptable ring. When she starting presenting the expensive rings it really did some work on us. Again, so I wouldn't stress about the ring, she "graced" me the option to wait for a better time financially. Nonetheless, she would always complain about not having one as her family and friends who presented the same attitudes as you stated before assuming I was duping her. But I don't think she informed them of full story about me actually wanting to propose with with the best ring i could afford instead of the perfect ring she desired.
I really wanted to get her a ring but now is truly the worst timing financially as I have a big and expensive licensing exam to take next month before I can start working. The position im taking is for a 6 figure job with a great sign on bonus so its not like I will be strapped for cash and I have no school debt, . I'd feel awkward giving her, a lets say $100 ring bc I feel like she'd be embarrassed about it.
well not a 100 ring, but for 1200 you can go on Blue Nile and get a good ring. Tell her this is just a temporary ring, until you establish yourself financially, and once that happens, the ring she originally wanted will look like a glass chip....but really it's not about the cost of the ring...or it's not supposed to be, it's what it symbolizes. Any woman who says otherwise is just bad news.
Yeah I get what your saying now Nila. However, I wanted to propose to her with what I believed was a more than acceptable ring. When she starting presenting the expensive rings it really did some work on us. Again, so I wouldn't stress about the ring, she "graced" me the option to wait for a better time financially. Nonetheless, she would always complain about not having one as her family and friends who presented the same attitudes as you stated before assuming I was duping her. But I don't think she informed them of full story about me actually wanting to propose with with the best ring i could afford instead of the perfect ring she desired.
Yeah.
I think all you can really do at this point is tell her, 'Look, I want to marry you. I thought you wanted to wait and not get engaged until I got a good job and could afford a good ring. But now I am confused. What do you want us to do?'
She sounds like she is kind of flailing, and does not know what she wants. If you ask her (if you can get a message to her) maybe it will help her figure it out.
well not a 100 ring, but for 1200 you can go on Blue Nile and get a good ring. Tell her this is just a temporary ring, until you establish yourself financially, and once that happens, the ring she originally wanted will look like a glass chip....but really it's not about the cost of the ring...or it's not supposed to be, it's what it symbolizes. Any woman who says otherwise is just bad news.
lolol...In my position I'm not able to afford $1200 at this very moment. I was able to pay school out of pocket being a TA, tutoring on the side, and random gigs to make a buck. My gf was a HUGE reason for me going back to grad school so I didn't want to start our new beginnings with piling debt so paid my own way. The only way I could get my hands of that type of cash is to borrow or take a loan. Either of those options don't seem financially responsible for me considering my soon to situation
The point is that she is a bad choice for a wife. She sounds needy, like a little girl. There are way too many options to settle for someone like that..
Then just SAY that rather than launch into a distracting jewelry metaphor.
I don't think English is OP's first language, so conciseness is important here.
lolol I have said that and it has lead me to where I am now
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