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I have to file joint for 2007 since we were under the same house for more of the year than not.
Doesn't matter by federal law if we were not together in that house for more than half of the year. Doesn't matter that I slept on the couch for more than a year, some times I slept in there, if I was not feeling well... sore, whatever, but not for the most part, and esp not for the last about 5 mos I lived there.
None of that matters. It doesn't matter that I was not with him as a wife is; with her husband for all of that time.. for a long time.. lol
What the govt sees is that you still lived under that roof. That is it and that is that.
I am going to hate sitting there and having to do my taxes with him, and he wants to claim both kids....
Please protect yourself if you get a refund. IIRC my ex was able to deposit the check into an account without my sig. Not sure if you are able to do that these days. Legally he owes you 1/2 of the refund. Make sure you get a copy of the tax return & give a copy to your attorney just in case he screws you.
Wow. I have been hoping for you, that he had a temporary lapse in judgement, and realized he screwed up and would be motivated to work on your marriage. But to read that he skipped the counseling session, and that he's still texting her...wow. I am so sorry. I think you are doing the right thing by moving on. There's nothing to save here unfortunately; it takes two and he is not there with you in this marriage.
Best wishes to you and your son...keep us posted.
I have to file joint for 2007 since we were under the same house for more of the year than not.
Doesn't matter by federal law if we were not together in that house for more than half of the year. Doesn't matter that I slept on the couch for more than a year, some times I slept in there, if I was not feeling well... sore, whatever, but not for the most part, and esp not for the last about 5 mos I lived there.
None of that matters. It doesn't matter that I was not with him as a wife is; with her husband for all of that time.. for a long time.. lol
What the govt sees is that you still lived under that roof. That is it and that is that.
I am going to hate sitting there and having to do my taxes with him, and he wants to claim both kids....
Robyn - Are you SURE you have to file jointly? When my ex and I were separated, we filed "married filing separately" (we had lived together for part of the year) - it was a higher tax rate or something, but I ended up with a refund, he didn't. Check with whomever does your taxes.
Robyn - Are you SURE you have to file jointly? When my ex and I were separated, we filed "married filing separately" (we had lived together for part of the year) - it was a higher tax rate or something, but I ended up with a refund, he didn't. Check with whomever does your taxes.
Weeellll... I do our taxes, but not this time I don't. I asked someone in the treasurers dept and they told me we had to file the same way we filed last year...
I am sure I could check with a tax co, which is where we will have to go this year. I am not stressing out over doing them.
My heart goes out to you. You gave it another chance and that was kind of you. He blew it. God gives us all free choice and some of us don't always have the wisdom we should have. When you have moved on and with time have rebuilt your life.....the plans God will have for you.....just keep talking to him. You can come out of this wiser, happier and with dreams and talents you never imaged. But for now it hurts but you and your son will be fine.
Unfortunately the thing I dreaded the most may be a near reality. I am afraid my marriage is at the point of no return. Not only did my husband skip out on our counseling session but he has been texting this woman !!!! So I think at this point I am done. I know people have overcome worse things than this but I CANT! I must admit his cell phone laying there on the coffee table was tempting, against my better judgement I decided to take a look at it and in his messages was exactly what I was looking for...Plans to meet up, little notes saying he missed her and she was on his mind . And here I was thinking that he was being sincere with me and really wanted this marriage, this family...wanted us....boy was I WRONG! I am so hurt, so disgusted, so broken...I don't know what to do...I could barely contain myself as I asked him what the hell was going on. I screamed over him as he tried to lie his way out of it and say that it was just casual conversation. CASUAL CONVERSATION?!?! Are you kidding me?! Casual Freaking conversation between YOU a disgrace of a married man, and a single homewrecking sl*t! I punched at him as I tried to tell him he had ruined everything, how our son's life would now be corrupted, how all of our goals and plans we had made to gether would be ruined. I almost threw up my lungs and I looked and him and asked him why and he just looked at me like a sad dog, with his taiil tucked between his legs. I ran out of the house, I walked, I walked down Youree drive...with him in tow....he followed me in the car..beggin pleading...blah blah blah. I just kept walking, until I got to the LSUS aparments, went up to my friends apt knocked, she answered I went in. He came knocking on the door, she opened and politely informed him that I didnt want to speak with him or see him and he should leave. My cell phone began to ring, and ring and ring and ring over and over he called left messages I didnt answer. I just cried and cried and cried. I hurt my heart hurts it feels like someone has taken there bare hands and pulled it out of my chest and just left me standing there. I love this man with all of me. To have to make the decision to file for divorced on the grounds of adultery is very hurtful, embarassing and shocking. What about my son? What will he think? His little life will forever be tainted by this....Omigod It hurts.....What will my family, friends, church members think? What will I say? How do I live the rest of my life knowing that the man I felt was my soul mate will no longer be here? I must have asked GOD why a million and one times. I still don't understand. I haven't talked to him at all, I don't want to. I haven't been home at all, I have been staying at a hotel......with my parents....They are totally taken aback by the whole thing. But I am glad they are here, I'm glad my daddy is here to wipe my tears and says its ok. I'm glad I have my mommy here to say I am strong enough to make through this for me and my son. I am glad I have them to pray with me..thats gives me strength and hope. But I'm still sad...It's like I have been in a blur I'm just floating through life right now. I keep thinking about that email. I keep saying whay, I keep wondering if I would have just went through with everything then, would I be as hurt now? Why did Ieven try to stick it out? Why did I even think he would stay with us? Why?
As I sat here and read your story tears welled up in my eyes and I felt my heart getting heavier and heavier. I do feel for you and honestly, I do believe he wants to hold on to his marriage, but what he wants is his cake as well. I think he wants to hold on to you to see where this other relationship goes because if all else fails he still has his wife. I don't doubt that he loves you, I honestly believe he does, but he's gotten himself caught up in the moment between you and the other woman. As I said before, he will be sorry and the time will come when he has realized what he's lost.
I dated a guy for four years(long distance relationship), going back and forth to see this guy and he at times will visit as well. Long story short, found out that he was still with his children's mother and that there was a new born. I did so much for him, more than you can imagine. I did a lot for him knowing he was financially strapped, but it didn't matter to me about his finances because I honestly loved him. Anyway, long story short, I loaned him some money because he wanted to go to school and do better for himself....anyway not to get into too much detail when I found out he was still involved with his baby mother and that she had another child for him, I stopped calling him and no longer took his calls...about 6 months down the road, I got a letter from him that he had married his children's mother...come to find out from a reliable source he used the money that I loaned him for school to finance his marriage to his children's mother. I was hurt, I cried for months...got even worst when it was that time of the month. I had to tell him how I felt about him and how disgusted I was that he used me...he responded by telling me that he was sorry, that he still loved me and nothing has to change because he was married....well i'm too much of a lady to repeat the words that came flowing out of my mouth when he said that, but bottom line it really messed me up when it came to trusting another man. I had this wall around me, my caution lights were always on and with that ruined all potential relationships for a good 8 years.
Now as I look back, I realized what a fool I was and how blinded I was over love, I knew that this man and I would never have been compatible in the long run, but because I was so in love with him I couldn't see what my friends had seen all along...and with that had to do a self assessment ..realized I was damned good woman and the loss was his not mine....Throughout the fours years of our relationship, i had never cheated on him like his children's mother did on several occasion, I had always encouraged him to do better with his life and was always there for him...He always stated that one of the reason's why he loved me so much was because I was so positive and ambitious.... assessing all my strong points, I realized that not only am I a damn good woman, but in fact I was too damn good for him... it was that assessment plus the many compliments of male friends who have always complimented me on my personality and wanting their women to possess some of my strengths, that made me feel my self worth and allowed me to move on to better days. I am now happy in a relationship with a wonderful man and know that I couldn't be happier..at least for now Anyway what I am trying to tell you is this, don't let this keep you down and don't let this question your self worth, pick yourself up, get a make over look at yourself in the mirror and assure yourself that he is the loser not you. Better days are ahead you just have to let it happen and don't block it out like I did.
This very thing has happened to more people than you realize....but it really does get better!! Just hang in there....and it helps when the pain turns to anger and you can utilize that anger in a constructive way toward your future...example: getting the best and absolute best out of your divorce!! It takes time, but you can do it!!
This very thing has happened to more people than you realize....but it really does get better!! Just hang in there....and it helps when the pain turns to anger and you can utilize that anger in a constructive way toward your future...example: getting the best and absolute best out of your divorce!! It takes time, but you can do it!!
Yes, you're right. I know people that roll over and play dead.. get so depressed they can't function. They then get walked on and wonder why they don't get to see their kid or why their child support was so high.
When I was seperated but still legally married, I was told I could file seperatly as head of household if he had lived in the home less then 6 months out of the year I was filing for.
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I am sorry.
Unfortunately the thing I dreaded the most may be a near reality. I am afraid my marriage is at the point of no return. Not only did my husband skip out on our counseling session 
but he has been texting this woman 
Anyway what I am trying to tell you is this, don't let this keep you down and don't let this question your self worth, pick yourself up, get a make over look at yourself in the mirror and assure yourself that he is the loser not you. Better days are ahead you just have to let it happen and don't block it out like I did.
