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he don't have the b@#$S to come clean in person,instead he sends an email like a coward.then to question his paternity to make you feel like you did something wrong not him is totally wrong and immature.in basic terms he's blaming you for all this to convince himself that what he is doing is fine and you and your son deserve all of this.
You should consider yourself lucky. Military men are not the best in the world. In fact, the rates of divorce, domestic abuse, and murder in military families is through the roof.
If I was you, I would print out this thread too, for your own records, and for that day down the road when he misses his son, wants to magically build a relationship with him, and part of that may well include "manufacturing" a story that is made up whole cloth about how you kept him away from his dad and he will tell him the "real story of what happened." It doesn't hurt to have it on hand to remind YOU too of what is going on.
This is not my fantasy, it happens. My sons are 22 and 20 and their dad every year that goes by "manufactures" stories of me and him that are absolute fairy tales. One of these days I expect it to include they sprang fully formed out of his own womb and I had no part in it at all LOL.
When a parent is absent it is natural for the kid to wonder about what happened, not that you want to bad-mouth the dad, but when the kid is old enough, and you are doing it not for spite but for the kid to know his family history, then you have it if you ever need it.
Also if you are of a writing bent, it is great short story or novel material, which can act as a catharsis and creative outlet and payback and success all in one. One of the most prolific mystery/crime writers currently publishing only began writing after she left a miserable abusive fear-filled marriage. She was ready to kill herself, go crazy, do violence.....so she did it to him in a murder mystery which she wrote really to write the ending she wanted in real life but didn't want to go to prison for. Anyway the book actually sold, she began writing and publishing, and all of this was after she turned 40, and had no writing experience or income, all she had was this crazy hatred of this horrible person,which she turned into her own success. I love that story.
The best revenge is living well. You go girl!
you go girl!is right! get rid of the coward he's not man enough to face you and your son and now he's trying to deny he's the father,what a loser.
Well, my petition for Divorce on the Grounds of Adultery has been officially filed. My Husband and I use that term lightly, has admitted to this adulterous affair and it is uncontested.......I am so confused, I don't know how this happened right under my nose. I found out the other day that they have an apartment together, and he has been staying there ! But is it really much of a shock? No not at all. But the shocker of this whole thing seems to center around my son. For some reason or another, he has told me that he doesn't believe our son is his and not only does he want a dna test , but that if the test comes back and says that our son is his, that he is considering signing over his parental rights..ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDDING ME?!?!?!?!?? The son that we tried so desperately to have? Me, who after losing other babies, and the doctors told me not to waste my time, I kept trying anyway? You the guy who prayed and prayed for a son and cried like a baby the first time you held him? R U Kidding me? What is wrong with this man, This is soooooooo NOT the man I know and love. I don't know what is going on with him. Some of my friends and family have tried using the old ptsd, and some have said he was just fooling me all along. IDK, I am just hurt. I went out the other night with a couple of my friends, and I ended up drinking way past the point of intoxication, I passed out, and for some odd reason, it felt....good. I felt like I was escaping, if only for a moment, this crazy 360 turn my life has taken in only a cpl of months. I have been in individual counseling for a couple of weeks now, and I have been trying to fight off a mild depression that just won't escape me. I have been in my bible more than ever, It keeps me grounded for the most part, but there certainly are times when I slip, get sad, cry uncontrollably, scream yell and curse. This hurts, this may possibly be one of the worst feelings I have ever felt. I just keep reminding myself that there is a little boy in this situation that needs me. He needs me and if my husband is serious I will be all he's got(with exception to grandparents, etc). How could he do this to me? To Us? To Our Son? The questions are still there, but at this point I don't even think I want an answer. I just want to get it over with....I want peace of mind, I want joy, I want happiness, I want my son and I to have a healthy, fun filled, loving life that will benefit us both and allow us both to grow and learn...That's what I want.........
My heart goes out to you, I can only imagine how it must feel to have him deny your son.
The DNA tests will show the truth and just know I don't think he can sign over his parental rights unless you also agree. I'm sure this is his desperate attempt to not have to stand up to the financial responsibility of having a child.
Who knows if something shifted somewhere or if he was acting the whole time, I know when you are in the place your at now, you ask these things but you can drive yourself crazy that way. The reality is he is a scumbag, sorry but any man who would try to abandon his own child is just scum to me. Its one thing to fall out of love with your wife and have so little honour to behave the way he has but to deny his own flesh and blood is dispicable.
I don't think you should let him out of his responsibility. Fight for your child and get every last dime out of him you can.
I know when your married, you think about whats best for the marriage and your spouse but its time to put yourself and your child first in your mind. Let go of your husband, if he is suffering from something then that has to be his responsibility to fix. He is a grown up man, you and your son have to come first.
If I was you, I would print out this thread too, for your own records
Yeah, good idea. I would also click on file / save as & save a copy to my hard drive / burn it to a CD. Can't hurt to have. One never knows if a server will go down & you'll lose everything.
Getting space on Windows Live or myspace is a good way to document. She can write whatever she wants, public or private but have it to look back on if needed.
I also would have taken a print screen of the email just in case the original got lost
Also to be on the safe side did you get a full panel STD screening to cover them all? That is about 4 different tests, one alone does not do it. Check too for the ones that need to be done after x number of weeks or months, since last contact. Not all can be tested for right away, some need 90 days after contact. Go down the list and make sure it includes all of them: chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphillis, AIDS/HIV, herpes, and there is a new one just out too. They can NOT be all tested for in a single test.
Well of course I did that, and by default, I go quarterly to get tested for STD's/HIVAids since I have been sexually active...Being that my mother is a nurse that is something that was drilled into us. Usually unless you specifically say you wanted to be tested for everything, they dont, and on base you have to sign papers to test for things like syphillis, hiv/aids, and other test that require blood to be drawn.....
I don't think you should let him out of his responsibility. Fight for your child and get every last dime out of him you can.
I know when your married, you think about whats best for the marriage and your spouse but its time to put yourself and your child first in your mind. Let go of your husband, if he is suffering from something then that has to be his responsibility to fix. He is a grown up man, you and your son have to come first.
I plan on doing just that, and I have been very assured by my attorney that he may as well sit down with that hoopla.....Our DNA test is scheduled for next Thursday.....He's going to OWN up to his responsibilities.....
Yeah, good idea. I would also click on file / save as & save a copy to my hard drive / burn it to a CD. Can't hurt to have. One never knows if a server will go down & you'll lose everything.
Getting space on Windows Live or myspace is a good way to document. She can write whatever she wants, public or private but have it to look back on if needed.
I also would have taken a print screen of the email just in case the original got lost
Got it covered already....Especially that email.....
CMC, you are an intelligent and very strong woman, I know at times you might not feel this way, this has no doubt been hell for you, you feel as if your life has been turned inside out. But you will make it through, just focus on your life with your son. Keep that in your sights and you will make it.
I think about you often in the hopes that you are doing well and that your little boy is not feeling so much of the stress that you are feeling. Its hard when your a parent to hide things like that from them.
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Well, my petition for Divorce on the Grounds of Adultery has been officially filed. My Husband and I use that term lightly, has admitted to this adulterous affair and it is uncontested.......
I am so confused, I don't know how this happened right under my nose. I found out the other day that they have an apartment together, and he has been staying there 
! But is it really much of a shock? No not at all. But the shocker of this whole thing seems to center around my son. For some reason or another, he has told me that he doesn't believe our son is his and not only does he want a dna test 
