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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,742,544 times
Reputation: 41381
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WisdomTooth 359
And On and On and On ,until WHAT ?
You give so much away about how immature you are ..Sexual ,or rather potential sexual compatibility is
something that is evident in so many ways, between people from so many little things ,and then more
important ones ,as you get to know one another, People who feel that underneath they have nothing to
offer ,want the sex quickly, hoping to bind someone to them in' false intimacy' ,which sex is, when it is not
preceded by a growing in the 'intimacy of friendship'.
And it is clear you are a narcissistic personality ,because it is all about you ,so you will never have a
deep loving relationship with another, unless you change radically .
And you give so much away in how clueless you are thinking you know one thing about me. If you are going to diagnose me as a narcissist from ONE post I want to see your credentials and your psychology degrees, g&^damn it.
Why on earth do you think anyone would make a commitment to you without first finding out if you and they were sexually compatible? Why on earth would would you make a commitment to someone else without first finding out the same thing?
You're absolutely right! It's nonsensical to believe otherwise. You also have to be honest with each other about money, the other big problem in relationships: how much to save, how much to spend on clothes. To not deal with either before a commitment is dangerous.
And you give so much away in how clueless you are thinking you know one thing about me. If you are going to diagnose me as a narcissist from ONE post I want to see your credentials and your psychology degrees, g&^damn it.
Don't need to know a lot about psychology . Just read you own post again . It's a classic .
I would say because it's just one aspect of several that influences someone to consider another commitment worthy. Things like mutual attraction, reciprocation of feelings, emotions, chemistry are also at play and I believe it's a discovery process of sorts that enables one to become comfortable and proceed with sexual exploration most likely with favorable expectations because other positives have been recognized.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,742,544 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by WisdomTooth 359
Don't need to know a lot about psychology . Just read you own post again . It's a classic .
Like my boy from Louisville say, no evidence and no credentials equal no argument. I'm going clubbing, and your argument is considered invalid, case dismissed and pay your court costs with the clerk on the right. Peace.
For me "commitment" means we are only dating each other.
And yes, I like commitment before sex. I don't understand what the big deal is. After you get to know a person and find out you like them. You agree with that person not to date anyone else, then you have sex. Next day you have sex. Maybe a few days later too. If the sex is that bad or whatever, it's simple, tell the other person, "sorry, this isn't working for me" and break up and find someone else. It's not like (in my context) commitment is a life-long bond. It's easy to undo. It's not easy to undo having sex or undo getting an STD, etc.
I think a lot of people think this way. It's been the norm for a long time after all. I mean really, how many men or women are okay with the person they are having sex with also have sex with several other people at the same time?
I agree with this. I am not going to casually have sex with just anyone. And I need to feel I really care for the person, and that they care about me 1st and foremost as well. If they care more about their dick, and sex than me, I wouldn't want them anyhow, and if they left because I am not sleeping with them within a month, I wouldn't feel the least bit guilty. Least they showed their true colors early on.
And for the women, we have alot more to lose. Lets not forget the names that women can be called, and rep we can get. ****, *****, tramp, used goods, etc. There's risk of pregnancy, and the women has to shell out hundreds of dollars on abortions, or keep the baby and raise it, go through a long adoption process, and the act of being pregnant is no pic-nic, while the guy could just run off if he wanted--like one poster on here did. Got a woman pregnant and ran off, and hasn't paid child-support once in his life. lol And STDs on top of pregnancy and harsh judgment and labels. And if they get pregnant and keep the child, there's many men who are reluctant to date a woman that has a baby already, by a different guy. Now many guys don't care, if they like the woman. but some women have had a hell of a time finding these guys.
Men have issues too. Just seems women have a little extra to deal with, which is why some try to be cautious. It's not that they hate sex, that they don't like you, or that they're playing games and being manipulative.
So, if you are a guy, and must have sex without or before commitment, it's fine if it's your belief. Just find a woman that shares that. Same for women or men who want commitment. It's fine and great, but find a partner who feels the same.
So, these are things that need to be discussed early on. Not a 1st date lol but pretty early so both parties can know what to expect, and if beliefs are too different, then it wasn't as much time wasted.
I would never date a guy with the 1950s mentality that a woman is used goods, especially since most men will try to mount any woman who bends down to tie her shoes.
Sex is natural and sex is fun. But then, I was raised in a French milieu, and there's nothing shameful or dirty about sex.
I wouldn't commit unless I know the sex is good. I dated a great guy for a year but the sex was just awful. Boring, boring, boring. He never wanted to try anything new. I had to throw him back.
When you start finding ways to avoid sex because it's so tedious, it's time.
Last edited by weltschmerz; 06-28-2014 at 07:32 PM..
For me "commitment" means we are only dating each other.
And yes, I like commitment before sex. I don't understand what the big deal is. You agree not to date anyone, a few days later you have sex. Next day you have sex. Maybe a few days later too. If the sex is that bad or whatever, it's simple, tell the other person, "sorry, this isn't working for me" and break up. It's not like (in my context) commitment is a life-long bond.
I think a lot of people think this way. It's been the norm for a long time after all. I mean really, how many men or women are okay with the person they are having sex with also have sex with several other people at the same time?
Quite a few since stats say over 500,000 people were in polyamrous relationships around 2009, and we have all the swinging couples we do.
Many are into it, or don't mind it .
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If you are going to diagnose me as a narcissist from ONE post I want to see your credentials and your psychology degrees, g&^damn it.
It's a classic .
