Women, what's your opinion of men in their 40's & 50's? (older, friend)
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Whenever someone makes a sweeping statement like that, whether man or woman, it just lumps you into the kook category, she was most likely just venting, as I doubt every man in his 40's and 50's is racist and sexist. and an a holes to boot.
There is a breakdown in logic if someone thinks that.
most of the men I talk to at church are in their 40s and 50s and are nothing like that . Sometimes both sexes at that age have their own mindset and set in their ways to where they can no longer be flexible in their thinking and they know what they like and that is what they are looking for and that is what it is .
That's actually part of the story, in a nutshell.
It isn't about being "Liberal" or "Conservative," or using spurious old-biddy arguments to demonize your opposition. Rather, four or five decades to observe, analyze, detach emotion from facts after long and careful consideration: something teens and twenty-somethings often cannot do. And finally, come to an understanding of why things are as they are, why people behave as they do. And thus believe those principles firmly, knowing it (whatever position "it" might be) is your personal truth based on carefully-honed values. End of story.
After that, you're very self-aware of what you both want and need in others. No purpose in wasting too terribly much time on those who do not (and cannot) fulfill the needs, much less the wants. Also, hopefully by that age you're decent at dealing with conflict and can politely disengage from people and situations that aren't appealing without dragging everything out too long.
I think your friend paints with too broad of a brush.
However, I do see some of what she's getting at. I'm in my upper 40s, and I like men in their 40s for the most part. Men in their 50s are fine, but I do see a difference between them and men 10 years younger (beyond physicality).
Men in their 50s are part of the Baby Boomer generation. They are more likely to have had moms who didn't work outside of the home (some who have NEVER worked), and their more gender-based upbringing shows in their perspectives on certain issues. On social issues generally (never mind politically and economically), they are significantly more conservative, their 1970s groovy Boomer young adult years notwithstanding. My soon-to-be ex is in his late 50s, so I have experienced this first-hand.
Men in their 40s are part of the Gen X generation (I am an early Gen Xer), which tends to be significantly less conservative and conventional than the Boomer generation. We are far more likely to have grown up with our moms working outside of the home, so men of this age group tend to be more adaptable and risk-taking. Yes, I realize I'm generalizing.
I don't think men in their 40s and 50s are any more racist than men in their 20s and 30s, but I would bet that more of them are less tolerant of same-sex rights than are men in their 20s and 30s. I could be wrong.
Always wondered where I fell in ...generational classification ( notice...I did not use the word "type" here) Apparently I am early gen X. Mmmm OK. I experienced both types of family dynamic you describe. Mom was stay at home early on, but worked later. It was a big deal for us...Mom going to work. Lol. But it became the norm.
It's tricky to generalize. But the 'generation gap' is often noticeable. (I'm just past 40.)
I went out with one particular guy who was 50, and the date was pretty comical. We went to a folk/punk fundraising concert, and he wasn't familiar with the musicians. I pointed out before the concert that one of the singers was a bit explicit in her lyrics, which he poo-poohed. Then we were in the concert and she was screaming at the top of her lungs about her ex calling her a ho on facebook... the music at the concert certainly wasn't anything he was used to. He was also taken aback when the emcee came out onstage... a local drag performer who I'd seen before, so I didn't bat an eye, til I saw my date squirming. Some audience members had young kids there, which he found weird. Things just went from funny to awkward. He was quite disappointed that I wasn't familiar with the older local musicians that he knew.
But I wouldn't say all guys in the 50s are extremely conservative or anything. It depends upon the guy. It's just worth keeping in mind that the generation gap exists and it will show itself in interesting ways. Guys in their 50s are also planning for retirement (retiring at 55 isn't unheard of), so they're at a different place in life than I am... I'm planning on almost 20 more years in the workforce to go. Guys in their 50s are thinking about how to put in their time when they retire, where they'll live, and they seem to be more concerned about their health too.
Guys in their 40s and 50s, if they have kids, and most do, that changes everything. They can't be as spontaneous because of time and other commitments. And they have to watch their pennies. In their 50s, some already have grandbabies. When their own kids are fully grown, that's a plus to me.
Guys in their 40s and 50s who don't have kids, that's nice in one way -- they can be spontaneous when it comes to getting together, and they don't give a second thought to dropping a lot of money on an expensive dinner or event tickets, etc. On the other hand, they tend to be as immature and irresponsible as I am (I don't have kids)...
It isn't about being "Liberal" or "Conservative," or using spurious old-biddy arguments to demonize your opposition. Rather, four or five decades to observe, analyze, detach emotion from facts after long and careful consideration: something teens and twenty-somethings often cannot do. And finally, come to an understanding of why things are as they are, why people behave as they do. And thus believe those principles firmly, knowing it (whatever position "it" might be) is your personal truth based on carefully-honed values. End of story.
After that, you're very self-aware of what you both want and need in others. No purpose in wasting too terribly much time on those who do not (and cannot) fulfill the needs, much less the wants. Also, hopefully by that age you're decent at dealing with conflict and can politely disengage from people and situations that aren't appealing without dragging everything out too long.
On this forum, it seems to be the opposite -- the guys in their 40s and 50s are the liberals, and the guys in their teens and 20s are extremist conservatives.
IRL, OTOH, I do think that decades of being treated with privilige has an effect on a person. Some more than others, of course.
I remember when I was teenager, commenting to my mom that my generation of guys were so different, so anti-sexist and liberated and stuff. My mom laughed and said, 'Men are always like that at that age. They change when they get older!'
That was a shock to me. And my mom has always had a cynical view of men . But I confess I have seen a slight move in the conservative direction, among men I know, over the decades. More so than women. Again, it is slight. And of course I only hang out with the most extreme liberals I can find .
Hmmm. Having seen the terms conservative and liberal used to describe desire able and undesirable traits in older me , I am compelled to ask....What's THAT got to do with anything? As I have learned my lessons, caring, understanding , empathy and compassion, which can be rolled up neat into "respect" , are not products of political or ...moral? ...attitudes. I was raised in a VERY "conservative" environment. Warriors and Stockmen are not known for their flowery outlooks on things.
However, where their women are concerned, they are as considerate and doting as it gets. As it is now, with me, men such as this, particularly us old guys, the ***** in our armor are the ladies in our lives. Lol, all the ladyfolk gotta do is give that spot a wee tap, and the sweet, gooey, center is theirs for the taking. ROFLMAO....its quite something to see as well. And to experience e.
I consider myself to be conservative but I don't enjoy talking about it or politics.
On this forum, it seems to be the opposite -- the guys in their 40s and 50s are the liberals, and the guys in their teens and 20s are extremist conservatives.
IRL, OTOH, I do think that decades of being treated with privilige has an effect on a person. Some more than others, of course.
I remember when I was teenager, commenting to my mom that my generation of guys were so different, so anti-sexist and liberated and stuff. My mom laughed and said, 'Men are always like that at that age. They change when they get older!'
That was a shock to me. And my mom has always had a cynical view of men . But I confess I have seen a slight move in the conservative direction, among men I know, over the decades. More so than women. Again, it is slight. And of course I only hang out with the most extreme liberals I can find .
Come out to Ca... we've got lots and lots of liberals here. Specially the bay area.....
I don't think so. I'm a early Gen X er (b 66...64 cutoff for boomers) and by the time I started school in 70 they were fully integrated and we all thought nothing of it. Myself and most every one I know my age is very liberAl and open minded, live and let live. We grew up in a time when there was still a fair amount of freedom and second chances were the order of the day. No one ever got expelled for bringing a butter knife, or a bag of weed to school. No one ever got a Minor in Possesion or underage drinking charge, the cops usually made you pour your beer out and told you beat it or called your parents And let them deal with you, lol.
The sexism you might have a point about but a lot of us saw and were the products of a traditional SAHM while Dad was the breadwinner environment. Doesn't mean I want someone to make sandwiches and do laundry, it's just the family unit was better off with the traditional way. I'm not nor do I know any racists my age and most of us agree this ridiculous drug war is all about keeping the minorities down.
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Apparently I am early gen X. Mmmm OK. I experienced both types of family dynamic you describe. Mom was stay at home early on, but worked later. It was a big deal for us...Mom going to work. Lol. But it became the norm.
. But I confess I have seen a slight move in the conservative direction, among men I know, over the decades. More so than women. Again, it is slight. And of course I only hang out with the most extreme liberals I can find 
