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Old 07-02-2014, 07:16 PM
 
7,300 posts, read 6,717,056 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnthonyJ34 View Post
Your opinion is that it is only younger women without rights and/or the means to support themselves who marry older, and presumably, less attractive mates. Or that it's the majority of those types of women who do. I say that's an overreaching analysis. Maybe you are right -- but how can you prove it? It's fine to believe that, but a belief is not a concrete truth. But I may look askew when an 80+ yr.old guy like Donald Sterling has a 30 yr.old girlfriend or wife: I think gold digger!! But what if the age difference is 10-15 years? I don't think it's outside any norm for a person to be very attracted to someone that much older, male or female.
And when talking about optimal attractiveness. I think most people would prefer to marry someone with all-star looks -- but how often does that happen? So even young, supposedly hot people have to settle eventually. So preferring x,y, and z is fine and all but that doesn't mean you will get it -- regardless of the ages involved.
I think there's a difference between model looks and age. I'm not saying it doesn't happen. There are women who go out with and even marry men their dad's age. Family get-togethers must be embarrassing.
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Old 07-02-2014, 07:24 PM
 
2,183 posts, read 2,197,906 times
Reputation: 1852
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saritaschihuahua View Post
I think you're dreaming. A woman with no rights would be FORCED to marry because without marriage she was a rightless individual. That's not a choice. That's a necessity.

Picture yourself a male with your legal rights suddenly stripped from you. In such a situation would you have a choice as to love? I doubt it. You'd be scrambling, desperate to find a wife to provide for you, hoping some woman show an interest in you, would like you, would ask for your hand in marriage, and you'd be trying to make yourself look really good because if no woman took you in, you'd be s.o.l. in life.
While there were forced marriages they were not the majority by any stretch of the imagination.
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Old 07-02-2014, 07:34 PM
 
Location: somewhere in the Kona coffee fields
834 posts, read 1,212,868 times
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If a guy doesn't have a high income, he should at least have a secure job. Knowing his trade or business, be reliable trustworthy, conduct basic body care, positive, caring, eat healthy and be fit, not dress like a scare crow, and be fun to be with. If he has his life in order, i.e. his own place, working clean car, general smarts, finished education, there are plenty of younger women wanting this. Especially when child and family orientated.
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Old 07-02-2014, 07:56 PM
 
7,300 posts, read 6,717,056 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jma501 View Post
While there were forced marriages they were not the majority by any stretch of the imagination.
I'm not even discussing forced marriages. I'm talking about how women were forced into having to marry because they had no rights, and no representation without being connected to a male, so the pressure was on to get someone's interest.
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Old 07-02-2014, 08:18 PM
 
2,183 posts, read 2,197,906 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saritaschihuahua View Post
I'm not even discussing forced marriages. I'm talking about how women were forced into having to marry because they had no rights, and no representation without being connected to a male, so the pressure was on to get someone's interest.
I used your own words and now you are back pedalling. Not surprised. Please reread your first two sentences from above. " I'm not even discussing forced marriages. "I'm talking about how women were forced into into having to marry".
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Old 07-02-2014, 09:30 PM
 
2,209 posts, read 2,306,701 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KaraBenNemsi View Post
If a guy doesn't have a high income, he should at least have a secure job. Knowing his trade or business, be reliable trustworthy, conduct basic body care, positive, caring, eat healthy and be fit, not dress like a scare crow, and be fun to be with. If he has his life in order, i.e. his own place, working clean car, general smarts, finished education, there are plenty of younger women wanting this. Especially when child and family orientated.
I would expect a younger woman to bring more to the table besides relative youth and attractiveness. I know many guys probably don't care much beyond the physical, but to me, I don't value youth and attractiveness to the point where I feel like I'd have to sell my soul just to have a hot, young wife. Having to pay a premium for something like that just seems pathetic. But that's just me.
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Old 07-02-2014, 09:47 PM
 
7,300 posts, read 6,717,056 times
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Originally Posted by jma501 View Post
I used your own words and now you are back pedalling. Not surprised. Please reread your first two sentences from above. " I'm not even discussing forced marriages. "I'm talking about how women were forced into into having to marry".
Of course you used my words, but you took them to mean that I was discussing ARRANGED marriages, which I wasn't. I was discussing the helplessness of a person who has no rights, and how that person is forced to find someone to marry BECAUSE she has no rights of her own and therefore no way to make her way through life. Arranged marriages are a whole different topic.
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Old 07-03-2014, 08:03 AM
 
2,183 posts, read 2,197,906 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saritaschihuahua View Post
Of course you used my words, but you took them to mean that I was discussing ARRANGED marriages, which I wasn't. I was discussing the helplessness of a person who has no rights, and how that person is forced to find someone to marry BECAUSE she has no rights of her own and therefore no way to make her way through life. Arranged marriages are a whole different topic.
Arranged marriages were a minority of marriages and I am talking centuries of marriages. Arranged marriages were mainly in wealthy/royal families but even then it wasn't always the case. Most marriages were two middle class or poor people who met and fell in love. Money had nothing to do with it. If what you state were 100% true in all marriages, 90% of today's population wouldn't exist.
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Old 07-03-2014, 08:35 AM
 
7,300 posts, read 6,717,056 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jma501 View Post
Arranged marriages were a minority of marriages and I am talking centuries of marriages. Arranged marriages were mainly in wealthy/royal families but even then it wasn't always the case. Most marriages were two middle class or poor people who met and fell in love. Money had nothing to do with it. If what you state were 100% true in all marriages, 90% of today's population wouldn't exist.
But since I wasn't discussing arranged marriages, but rather the fact that a person without rights would find themselves forced to seek someone, anyone, to marry just to survive, I don't know why you're still discussing arranged marriages.
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Old 07-03-2014, 08:54 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,622,264 times
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I heartily disagree that marriages were historically based on love. Women were obligated to marry and did so out of duty. She might like or love the fellow, but maybe not. Few people traveled, so choices were limited to the people in one's immediate vicinity. Not starving to death was priority #1; it's very easy to underestimate that motive now that we live in such a luxurious, plentiful time. The female role was to get out of the house so there was one fewer mouth to feed. Perhaps marriage was arranged, perhaps not, perhaps they liked one another, perhaps not so much over time. Ever read The Prince and the Pauper? Tom Canty's drunken father beat the stuffing out of his mother on a daily basis. It was very, very common.

Marriage for love is a recent phenomenon and frequently blamed as a big reason that divorce rates are so high.
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