I would like another child but he has had a vasectomy (dating, boyfriend)
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I am a little stuck. I have been dating a guy for a while now and he has just recently told me he has actually had a Vasectomy 5 years ago. I ultimately would like more children. Between us we have 3 already from past relationships.
I really like being with my boyfriend but feel that I will not be fulfilling my dream to have more children should we choose to be together and get married. We are really compatible yet feeling this will tear us apart as Inwill feel ripped off if we don't have a baby together. What to do... Feeling a bit sad about making a decision...when we are so compatible.
If this is a deal breaker, it's a deal breaker. While a reversal might be possible and success rates are high after only 5 years, it's too much to ask someone to go through one if you're not prepared for the potential for it to fail.
You need to ask yourself whether you can live with a reversal failing. If you can't, you need to move on.
Do what you need to do for you. Don't compromise because one day, your feelings for him might change and you will resent that you gave up your wish for another child for him.
Now from my perspective, he won't want any more kids. I had a vasectomy after 1 because, for me, I did not want any more children. When dating, I usually reveal this up front and state that I don't want kids and a reversal is not an option and if this is a deal breaker, she needs to decide now. Most women I date have a child as well, so I am fine with a blended family, but adding to it is not an option.
Last edited by BostonMike7; 07-02-2014 at 07:40 AM..
He made the decision that he doesn't want any more children. If what you really want is more children, it's time to break off the relationship and start looking for someone else to marry and have more children with.
I am a little stuck. I have been dating a guy for a while now and he has just recently told me he has actually had a Vasectomy 5 years ago. I ultimately would like more children. Between us we have 3 already from past relationships.
I really like being with my boyfriend but feel that I will not be fulfilling my dream to have more children should we choose to be together and get married. We are really compatible yet feeling this will tear us apart as Inwill feel ripped off if we don't have a baby together. What to do... Feeling a bit sad about making a decision...when we are so compatible.
Have you asked him why he got one? It's possible his ex was the one driving the choice as well.
He should be grateful he had a vasectomy. 3 kids is already too much.
+1. I had my tubes tied when I was 27. I never had children and never desired any. When I met my husband, I told him about it soon after we started dating. He didn't have any kids either. He was fine with it, but disagreement about that can make or break a relationship. You must decide for yourself if it is that important to you. I am curious why the three kids between you isn't enough for you. Remember, having a child together is a terrible reason to try to salvage a troubled relationship (if that's why you want one with him).
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