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My long time significant other and father of my second child decided he is not happy in our relationship and broke up with my this week. I am devastated and hurting for both my children and myself. However I know I can't make someone else happy and they have to find happiness within themselves. We talked marriage last week and buying a house. This week he is ready to move on without me.
I know I need to just focus on my kids and myself for the foreseeable future, but one day I want to find a husband and man that wants to join our family. I have young kids.
Is there hope of finding a good man that wants to love my kids and I? I have never sucessfully dated single dads, so I would be looking for a man that does not have kids and does not wish to have any, but a man that is happy to love and care for my kids.
Is this possible? Are their good men like this out there?
There ARE good men like that out there, but you have to do your part to attract them.
Two children from two different men - you've already handicapped yourself enough right there, so make darn sure you don't start sleeping with guys again any time soon.
In fact, don't date for a while. Focus on your kids and on developing yourself into the best you that you can be. People who do that become more attractive to the kind of partners they want to attract.
I am sorry for your heartbreak, but this guy sounds like a real fickle loser you are better off without. Take your time before you choose the next man you allow into your life.
My first child was within a 10 year long relationship and my second child was within a 7 year long relationship. I certainly would not consider that being uncommon. I am good with two kids and know my body is done reproducing. Whoever I meet has to be good with not having kids with me.
So you want nothing to do with men who have kids, BUT you yourself want a man to fully embrace you and your kids? Lol, talk about hypocrisy. I would say most men who have a lot of options, especially if they are under the age of 40, probably wouldn't date a a single mom as a first choice. But I wouldn't say it's impossible, but you'll just have a smaller pool of men to choose from. Me myself, I want to have my own kids one day and not be raising somebody else's, plus I don't want to deal with baby daddy drama, so I would probably never date a single mom.
Do you know anything about real relationships?
Original poster: It is way too see to even be thinking along these lines right now. The loss of your relationship is too new and hurts too much.
Focus on your children's well being and yours, mourn the loss of your relationship and eventually move on. You will find someone in time who may or may not be a parent who will love your children as their own and will love you as well.
Just give it plenty of time so you all can be healed from this loss and ready to move on to someone new.
My first child was within a 10 year long relationship and my second child was within a 7 year long relationship. I certainly would not consider that being uncommon. I am good with two kids and know my body is done reproducing. Whoever I meet has to be good with not having kids with me.
Well, you might be shocked to know it, but some guys will automatically pass you by if they hear you had two "baby daddy's".
It's also not as common as you seem to think it is.
Not wanting more kids in the next relationship will likely help you more than hinder you.
My long time significant other and father of my second child decided he is not happy in our relationship and broke up with my this week. I am devastated and hurting for both my children and myself. However I know I can't make someone else happy and they have to find happiness within themselves. We talked marriage last week and buying a house. This week he is ready to move on without me.
I know I need to just focus on my kids and myself for the foreseeable future, but one day I want to find a husband and man that wants to join our family. I have young kids.
Is there hope of finding a good man that wants to love my kids and I? I have never sucessfully dated single dads, so I would be looking for a man that does not have kids and does not wish to have any, but a man that is happy to love and care for my kids.
Is this possible? Are their good men like this out there?
but the odds are against people being patient enough to do what must be done.
I have tried relationships with three single dads over the years. This will sound crazy, but I am not really a kid person. I love my children dearly, but I lack patience for other kids, especially if they have not been taught manners.
Then you can understand how men with no children would feel the same way.
Original poster: It is way too see to even be thinking along these lines right now. The loss of your relationship is too new and hurts too much.
Focus on your children's well being and yours, mourn the loss of your relationship and eventually move on. You will find someone in time who may or may not be a parent who will love your children as their own and will love you as well.
Just give it plenty of time so you all can be healed from this loss and ready to move on to someone new.
Do you understand how real life works? Get a clue.
It's quite possible you'll find a childless guy who doesn't wish to have any but is happy to love and care for your kids however your options are likely from a small pool. Whether he'll meet your other criteria and/or preferences is a toss up.
It's probably suited to disregard posters who will speaking about hypocrisy or not ruling out single dads. I find most single dads aren't seeking/pursuing single moms, most guys 30s+ aren't seeking/pursuing gals their age, most fat guys aren't seeking fat gals, most ugly guys aren't seeking ugly gals, and so on with no to little outcry on those matters. So hypocrisy in dating to me seems to be a non issue when males are considered and in my opinion what's good for the goose is good for the gander.
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Lol, talk about hypocrisy. I would say most men who have a lot of options, especially if they are under the age of 40, probably wouldn't date a a single mom as a first choice. But I wouldn't say it's impossible, but you'll just have a smaller pool of men to choose from. Me myself, I want to have my own kids one day and not be raising somebody else's, plus I don't want to deal with baby daddy drama, so I would probably never date a single mom.
Happens all the time ...
