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I'm a 22 year old girl, I lost my mom few years back when I was 16 and I have step mother now(she is good, but you can understand she can't replace my mother). After completing my Senior Secondary education, I opted for job for further studies(I wanted to earn myself for my needs), today I'm earning very well at this age in a Private company with higher level position.
This was about my basic information which I wanted you to know.
Now the confusion is about my marriage/relationship. I m in a relationship of 3+ years, initially we both loved each other, cared for each other but slowly and gradually everything has been faded away(may be that's the part of life). Now my father wants me to get married by this year as he thinks I should because I ll cross 23 then, he is approving of my relationship but have some financial issues, I have informed the guy about this, but instead of understanding my situation, he started abusing me like anything. He has done this to me before also but I forgave everything after his apologies. He is a nice person, always there for me, cares for me and I know he ll be there for me always, but I really don't know that he can respect me or not. So, my father is asking me to get married with him or he will find another match for me, but I really don't want to do an arrange marriage, I'm very much scared of it as I know my step mother will not stand by me in case I needed. So my question is, should I marry him or let my father find another match for me ?
I'm very much scared and afraid for both the scenarios as I think I have to compromise either my respect or my freedom/privileges.
I want to clear one thing which can create confusion in your understanding that financial issue is on his side, not ours. So my father is in doubt that if he can earn for me or not.
this guy you are going with, dump him like a bad habit and move on with your life, and tell dad that you will get married when you are good and ready to and not before.
this guy you are going with, dump him like a bad habit and move on with your life, and tell dad that you will get married when you are good and ready to and not before.
Thank you for taking out your time and reply to me, but I m in really love with this guy, whenever he repeats such mistakes, somewhere around I m the one who has done something wrong, so he come up with a reason to defend himself, like initially m the one who did mistake so I left clueless and accept his apologies and wouldn't he blaming me for leaving him for financial issues, is it still non-ethical ?
I know it seems like you love him, you probably do. You WILL feel bad breaking up and it will feel terrible for a few months , maybe even a year or so. But you wll feel much happier when you get out of that phase and realize that you probably saved yourself from a bad bad marriage.
They say it takes 2 years to mourn the death of a long term relationship. After that you get to look back with great relief. If you are having alarm bells going off now so early in the game....
Since I'm 'merican in location and culture, I can not relate to the potential pitfalls of arranged marriage.
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