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When you blatantly post about your looks on a forum you can expect some criticism. I gave my opinion, such is life.
True...... if you wanna sell yourself as some hottie be prepared for some reality checks... there was some nitwit here about a yr or two ago and man... she was a solid Wisconsin 7and a sad LA 4... this poor girl thought she was the ****... LOL....
Don't ever put your profile up on a public form and look for the ego boost... LOl, You'll get a boost.... a boost right to depression... LOL....
babychick or something or other... poor silly woman...... delusions of grandeur that poor woman suffered.....
You were straight out duped. You should have divorced him once you found out he had a vasectomy.
Really??? do you have any info that he duped her... we don't know all of the intimate details... sort of surprised you went all militant man hater here????
It's completely your call, I had a friend divorce her husband because after a few years of marriage he revealed that he never wanted children. She got remarried and has two kids with her second husband. It's ultimately up to you if you want to stay in the marriage but you could get a divorce on the grounds of fraud.
Really??? do you have any info that he duped her... we don't know all of the intimate details... sort of surprised you went all militant man hater here????
Actually - we kind of do have that info.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SinncerelyYours
Hi all! I am a new member only joined today but have been reading this forum for a year now. I decided to share my story to see if there is anyone else out there going thru a similar situation.
I am married to a man 24yrs my senior - I'm 36, he's 60. Most people assume I married for material reasons especially as we are such opposites inside and out. But that is the farthest thing from the truth. Unfortunately people tend to judge by what they see on the outside and as we all know you can't judge a book by it's cover.
But here's what the cover shows. I'm Asian, petite, 5'1", 98lbs, waist length brown/blonde hair, trim/toned figure. I look like Nikki Cash; same skin tone, hair and body shape but am more petite, with a few more tattoos and more differences in facial features. I actually modeled (as a hobby only) in the same industry back in my 20's and have been photographed by many of the same photographers. It was something my husband encouraged which really boosted my confidence as I had none when we met surprising as that may be but that's largely due to the way I was raised.
I am not at all vain or conceited but I know (now) I am an attractive woman that has always received no lack of attention from the opposite sex. On the other hand my husband is Caucasian, 5'11", 230lbs, beer gut, salt & pepper hair and looks older than he really is while I am still mistaken as being in my mid 20s. He's not a looker by any means but because I love him and who he is inside it makes him the sexiest man alive. Even more so because he didn't pursue me as an older man wanting a hot younger woman to have a fling with. Had that been the case I would not have given him the time of day. From outside appearances we are a very unlikely couple so I can see why people are so quick to judge. But if they had taken the time to get to know us they would realize it is the farthest from the truth.
But we are not bothered by judgmental people. We have been happily married for 15 yrs now. He is the best husband I can ask for. The age difference has never been an issue. Truthfully I am much more on his level of maturity so we are a perfect fit. I have never found much in common with people my age. I left home at 16 to avoid an arranged marriage (strict cultural tradition) which forced me to grow up quickly but that's another story.
However, as with all marriages we have our issues. Most are minor but there is one major pitfall that I desperately want to put behind me......and have been able to do so for the last 10yrs. But as I get closer to 40 I find this issue has resurfaced and it saddens me greatly. I guess I'm hoping to hear from others in a similar situation and hear how they are coping with it so I don't feel so alone.
The thing is when we first started dating we discussed having children. I have always wanted a family and he led me to believe he did as well. However a few yrs after we married he confessed that he had a vasectomy in his early 30's. Reversal is highly unlikely to be successful given the length of time and his age. Not only that but he doesn't want to adopt or consider a donor sperm for in-vitro fertilization. His reason being he doesn't want to be an elderly father with teenagers in the house. He didn't tell me before because he was afraid it was a deal breaker for me and maybe it would have been. I really don't know what I would have done.
I was devastated, hurt, angry and betrayed. I went into a deep depression for a year. Eventually I pulled myself out of it because I love him and even though I was heartbroken this wasn't reason enough for me to leave. I convinced myself to be content by listing all the pros of not having children: no weight gain, no stretch marks, no c-section, more disposable income, freedom to travel, more time for us, early retirement and not having to worry about being too old for our children.
Instead we adopted 6 dogs and spoiled them rotten. I am a huge animal lover and they are the next best to having children. I'm sure it's nothing close but it's all I'll ever have and for awhile I was ok. But as I get closer to 40 I realize my biological clock is ticking and now I am sad and angry all over again.
Perhaps once I hit 40 I'll finally be able to put it behind but I'm finding it very difficult to do now when everyone around me is having babies. My older sister has 4 girls, my younger sister has 1 girl, my brother has 3 boys and a girl and of course all my cousins and dozens of nieces/nephews are all married with children as well. Sometimes being around them I find myself imagining what my daughter or son would look like. I imagine a beautiful little girl or a handsome little boy with exotic Asian features and my husband's childhood soft blonde hair. But of course this only brings more tears and sadness and ultimately resentment.
I do want to note that my husband has a daughter from his previous marriage who is 6yrs my senior. She is married and has 5 beautiful children. She lives in another state and used to keep in touch with her father. Unfortunately once she found out about me all communication ceased. She never even gave me a chance. I have never met her or the lovely grand kids whose pictures I have framed in our bedroom. It's almost ironic that I feel an acute loss for this missed opportunity while it doesn't seem to bother my husband at all. It's not that he's heartless and didn't want a relationship with her but his thought is that if she doesn't want one with us than it's her loss.
He admitted he has never been close to his daughter. He had her when he was very young. I believe he was 18 or 19. He was only married for 6 months to his first wife before he discovered she was unfaithful. They left on bad terms but he did his duty by remaining in her life and financially supporting her until her 18th birthday. He also sends a generous amount each year for the grand kids.
He's a great man and a wonderful husband. We live a comfortable life with a nice home and we both love our work. He's self-employed as a successful contractor and I am a graphic designer for a great company. Am I being selfish for wanting children? Because life is otherwise perfect if I can just accept being childless. Our marriage is still going strong and even after all these years I am still very much in love with my husband as the day we married. Actually even more so and I know he feels the same. But as the saying goes - the heart wants what the heart wants.
I'm gonna sound like a dick... and I'm one of the more reasonable guys here... but what the F was a woman thinking marrying a man that much older...I mean it isn't rocket science that a 60 yr old dude isn't really gonna be down with having more kids.....am I way off base here????????
I mean.. doesn't she have to take some level of responsibility for that part of it... it's like hanging with dogs and wondering how the hell you got fleas.... you follow???
Personal responsibility has left the ****ing blding these days......
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