Quote:
Originally Posted by HeidiBee24
I think if he would simply listen to my feelings and let me talk as long as I need to explain everything these things wouldn't keep being an issue. Since I am saying how I feel, after I am done he would have a perfect chance to say "I understand how you are feeling, but you do not need to because so and so" or "I understand how you are feeling and I get where you are coming from lets fix it" Instead every arguement is my fault, regardless how hard I try to avoid them and I am seriously fed up.
I feel like I should just move on but at the same time I don't like the idea of letting a relationship go that means a lot to me for simply the idiocy of him not being able to communicate decently. We have so many other good qualities and to end something over "not working communication" seems a bit drastic.
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I just wanted to say that someone more organised than I should save post #1 for the next time someone asks, 'Why do women stay in abusive relationships? They must like it.'
Notice how simple and easy it would be for him just to act like a normal person, and then the relationship would be fine. Notice how baffling she finds his choice not to do that. And how silly it seems to her, to throw out a long-term relationship over a problem with such an easy fix.
Often women stay because they are sure that, any day now, he will realise how silly he is being, creating drama and misery when they could just be having fun together, like they did in the first part of the relationship.
But that would be him making a rational choice, and she cannot see that he will never be able to make rational choices.
Being abusive is a mental illness. Abusers cannot think logically. And that is confusing to people who do not realise the guy is mentally ill. They keep waiting for him to snap out of it.