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Old 07-08-2014, 06:39 PM
 
Location: Northville, MI
11,879 posts, read 14,149,352 times
Reputation: 6376

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
Don't let the fun pass you by in college. College is much more rewarding when you mix work and play. And college is a very very valuable time to setup your future connections, and many of those are made via social connections.

College is a perfect opportunity to expand your network with future influential people, many of those will be the people you socialize with.

And if I recall, you are an engineer. Don't be fooled motet tech jobs aren't filled by the best coder, but the person the interviewer connects the best with. And for early stage companies, they generally fuel the development and early stage teams with their friends, many of them college friends (and of course people they work with). But working in Silicon Valley is definitely equal parts skill and equal parts "culture fit" which is code word for "I want you to be my happy hour buddy and come to my wedding."

So work on the fun and social skills now, they will be essential for your career.
Sounds right, but I am banned from attending happy hour sessions for religious reasons as mentioned earlier. If there is another equivalent where no drinking is involved, I would gladly join in.
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Old 07-08-2014, 06:43 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
28,226 posts, read 36,731,749 times
Reputation: 28561
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adi from the Brunswicks View Post
Sounds right, but I am banned from attending happy hour sessions for religious reasons as mentioned earlier. If there is another equivalent, I would gladly join in.
A little off topic for now. But going to happy hour (not drinking) just to show up for a little while is good. And once you move up the income ladder a bit, nicer bars have awesome nonalcoholic drinks these days. Sometimes it is good to go...but you don't actually have to drink! I've got many friends who abstain from alcohol for religious or other reasons, and lots have showed up at the bar. Of course it also depends on how liberal you are in your practice.

Anyway, the big point is, definitely find ways to socialize with your classmates now! It is good for your future.
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Old 07-08-2014, 07:00 PM
 
Location: Northville, MI
11,879 posts, read 14,149,352 times
Reputation: 6376
Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
A little off topic for now. But going to happy hour (not drinking) just to show up for a little while is good. And once you move up the income ladder a bit, nicer bars have awesome nonalcoholic drinks these days. Sometimes it is good to go...but you don't actually have to drink! I've got many friends who abstain from alcohol for religious or other reasons, and lots have showed up at the bar. Of course it also depends on how liberal you are in your practice.

Anyway, the big point is, definitely find ways to socialize with your classmates now! It is good for your future.
I am also not supposed to be around companions who drink alcohol at that instance of time. I know it sounds weird, but religious customs are set in stone and expected to be followed for our specific sect in Hinduism (not so for many others). Anyways, I am sure that other activities are available.
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Old 07-08-2014, 07:41 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,640,807 times
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You can still abide by your religion, but there are plenty of recreational groups that don't drink. My local Toastmasters group has a lot of young Indian guys who are tech employees who work on softening their native accent and picking up on the American sense of humor. It is a way to interact socially with all ages and all stages of life.

I promise you that developing your social skills now will help you get employed AND make friends. Don't put it off. It's NOT something you can keep in a box to open 5 years from now when you *think* you need it.
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Old 07-08-2014, 07:46 PM
 
Location: Northville, MI
11,879 posts, read 14,149,352 times
Reputation: 6376
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
You can still abide by your religion, but there are plenty of recreational groups that don't drink. My local Toastmasters group has a lot of young Indian guys who are tech employees who work on softening their native accent and picking up on the American sense of humor. It is a way to interact socially with all ages and all stages of life.

I promise you that developing your social skills now will help you get employed AND make friends. Don't put it off. It's NOT something you can keep in a box to open 5 years from now when you *think* you need it.
OK. I will get out there and see what's there for me. It may initially be an embarrassing start, but I hope over time things will change for the better.
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Old 07-08-2014, 07:54 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,640,807 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adi from the Brunswicks View Post
OK. I will get out there and see what's there for me. It may initially be an embarrassing start, but I hope over time things will change for the better.
It's OK to be awkward and embarrassed occasionally. The way you handle it is important. If you make a mistake, just laugh it off and keep trying.
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Old 07-09-2014, 03:30 PM
 
Location: NYC
5,231 posts, read 3,572,125 times
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For women, it's not so much that you need to be an interesting person to them, but an interested person. If they believe they are number 1 with you.... This really applies to initial contacts with all people.
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Old 07-09-2014, 03:58 PM
 
Location: Northville, MI
11,879 posts, read 14,149,352 times
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TBH, I have been in situations where I attempted to fall in love. However, peer and parental pressure shredded my hopes. My classmates used to mock, humiliate, and tease me.

Last edited by Adi from the Brunswicks; 07-09-2014 at 04:52 PM..
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Old 07-09-2014, 04:29 PM
 
33,387 posts, read 34,671,842 times
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the first thing is your attitude towards people in general. do you look at someone who is overweight and struggling and think, they just need to lose weight? or do you think how can i help them? same with anyone who is less fortunate than you are in any manner.

what is your attitude towards your friends, and acquaintances? do you treat acquaintances like friends, and friends like family? or not?

how about those you think of as enemies? do you hate them? do you wish them harm in any way? love thine enemy, remember you made them.

how do you look at life in general? do you look around and see positive things? or are you a negative kind of person? positive people are generally the ones that people gravitate to.

sense of humor. do you have one? if so is it a light sense or a dark one? does this joke find you laughing;

what is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman, you can unscrew a light bulb.

develop a good sense of humor, and make sure you can laugh at yourself more easily than you can laugh at others. for instance i tell people i dont dance because i have two quantum feet, they can be either both left, or both right, or both left and right at the same time, which is why they get confused.

the next thing is, thinking of others before you think of yourself. if you want a friend you have to be a friend, which means if your potential friend needs your help with something, you go help them if you can. for instance if my friends call me and say they need me to get up after a couple hours of sleep and drive 100 miles to help them change a tire, you can bet that i am heading out to give them the help they need. and if i cant do that, i will get them the help they need one way or another. by the same token, if i need help, and i need that friend to get up after a couple hours of sleep, am i going to call them? probably not depending on their circumstances, they need their sleep as much as i need the help, so i will look for alternatives before calling in friends.

in the end its all in how you treat people around you, and whether or not you do it because you want something, or just because.
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Old 07-09-2014, 04:32 PM
 
33,387 posts, read 34,671,842 times
Reputation: 20028
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adi from the Brunswicks View Post
TBH, I have been in situations where I attempted to fall in love. However, peer and parental pressure shredded my hopes. My dad and classmates used to mock, humiliate, and tease me.
let them mock you, and humiliate you to their hearts content. when you stand up for yourself, and ignore the idiocy, they will back down and give you respect. this goes with my previous post as well, its all in how you treat others, and what your attitude is towards others.
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