Guys: Ways I can develop a good personality

[Adi from the Brunswicks]

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

I wouldn't go that far, but if you really want to expand your horizons outside of your family, you're going to have to strike a balance between staying true to your religious and cultural beliefs while being flexible enough not let them turn you into an ascetic hermit.

Ah Ha, That's exactly the difficulty I am having now. Thank you so much for pointing it out .

So, any suggestions on where to start focussing.

Today's discussion with my friends (which includes boys and girls) went well. They are a bunch I have grown comfortable speaking with right now. We were talking about the impacts of LeBron's move to Cleveland. Discussing NFL and NBA stuff are my strong point.

[fleetiebelle]

Originally Posted by Adi from the Brunswicks

Ah Ha, That's exactly the difficulty I am having now. Thank you so much for pointing it out .

So, any suggestions on where to start focussing.

Today's discussion with my friends (which includes boys and girls) went well. They are a bunch I have grown comfortable speaking with right now. We were talking about the impacts of LeBron's move to Cleveland. Discussing NFL and NBA stuff are my strong point.

You're going to have to figure out where your belief system can give you a little wiggle room. You've said that not only can't you drink, but you can't associate with people who drink. As a young man, that's definitely going to hinder your social options. So maybe if the guys from work are going to happy hour, you go for a bit, talk sports, have a club soda with lime, and leave. Or you try to find like-minded people by signing up for a vegan cooking class or something. It's the dilemma of the immigrant in a melting pot society, and you just have to decide how you want to proceed.

[Adi from the Brunswicks]

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

You're going to have to figure out where your belief system can give you a little wiggle room. You've said that not only can't you drink, but you can't associate with people who drink. As a young man, that's definitely going to hinder your social options. So maybe if the guys from work are going to happy hour, you go for a bit, talk sports, have a club soda with lime, and leave. Or you try to find like-minded people by signing up for a vegan cooking class or something. It's the dilemma of the immigrant in a melting pot society, and you just have to decide how you want to proceed.

In modern day India, "Can't associate" is thought of in the sense of "I cant have intimacy with them". That's not exactly what the belief system says, but many people find it hard to get by without accommodating drinkers. I think this is a reasonable way to start off , as I dont intend to have intimacy with people who drink anyways. The only fine line I have to draw is to make sure that the people around me drinking don't go overboard and lose it. I WILL NOT DRINK ALCOHOL DUE TO PEER PRESSURE, that's made very clear. What's your opinion on this.

[Adi from the Brunswicks]

I am too blushy while talking to women of my age under informal settings . Why is that, what could be causing this and how can I overcome ? I am a fairly confident person, but this keeps happening to me. It also gives a wrong impression about my attitude. Tell me how to bridge the gap