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Okay this question is the result of a conversation with an online friend.
And I got to thinking about love and finding out that there are, supposedly, different kinds of love (well I kind of knew that).
But, really, some of the stuff I read is kind of disheartening. (BTW, if you look up love in the dictionary there are about a gazillion definitions.)
According to one psychologist there are two basic types of love: compassionate love and passionate love.
Compassionate love is characterized by mutual respect, attachment, affection, and trust. Compassionate love usually develops out of feelings of mutual understanding and shared respect for each other.
Passionate love is characterized by intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety, and affection.It is also said that this type of love is possesive and extremely conditional. When these intense emotions are reciprocated, people feel elated and fulfilled. Unreciprocated love leads to feelings of despondency and despair.
Supposedly passionate love is extremely transitory lasting from about 6months to a year and a half.
Quote:
passionate love arises when cultural expectations encourage falling in love, when the person meets your preconceived ideas of an ideal lover, and when you experience heightened physiological arousal in the presence of the other person.
Ideally passionate love will eventually turn into compassionate love, but according to many psychologist and others that is rare.
Other sources say that compassionate love is ...love without conditions..... spiritual love or universal love. It has nothing to do with whether you like the person or not...you would still show compassionate love to a person regardless of if you liked them. A good thing.
Hmmm............. "passionate love" doesn't sound that bad if you get rid of the anxiety and too much possesiveness. But then you still have the conditions that when not fulfilled spell the end of "love". Bummer.
Okay so, why can't an initial "love" which is passionate then move into a more unconditional "passionate" form of love for that person? Isn't that what we are all aiming for?
Otherwise, you (not you specifically), really can't or wouldn't sustain a one on one kind of love for any length of time. Because it seems that it would always be somewhat destructive (that possesiveness and the conditions). And pretty much be doomed to end.
And the compassionate love that is labeled universal love is wonderful and I'm all for it but it seems to really be completely different from the love you feel specifically for a life partner.
So any way, it goes round and round. You can find all kinds of descriptions of and definitions for love in all of its forms but what are you looking for ?
And do you think that what most people think of as love is really all that conditional and therefore doomed to end?
(yep, thinking about this waaaaaaay too much but I hate it when questions get stuck in my head!)
Compassionate love is characterized by mutual respect, attachment, affection, and trust. Compassionate love usually develops out of feelings of mutual understanding and shared respect for each other.
Out of the two choices (compassionate vs. passionate) I would chose compassionate love in a heartbeat. I think that it is also know as mature love.
Passionate love aka infatuation is what gets the ball rolling, but ideally passionate love matures to compassionate love. Compassionate love is what has the potential to last forever.
My boyfriend and I love each other in a compassionate way, but there is still a lot of passion between us.
My boyfriend and I love each other in a compassionate way, but there is still a lot of passion between us.
This is the hubby and I...grant it we are still newlyweds but we were together for a year before marriage and I learned just how deep our compassionate love is.
Compassionate love is characterized by mutual respect, attachment, affection, and trust. Compassionate love usually develops out of feelings of mutual understanding and shared respect for each other.
Passionate love is characterized by intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety, and affection.It is also said that this type of love is possesive and extremely conditional. When these intense emotions are reciprocated, people feel elated and fulfilled. Unreciprocated love leads to feelings of despondency and despair.
well, I've experienced both, at once...and it is possible to have both...but there comes a time, when the passion lessons, but the relationship grows....
things the dictionary do not tell you
Love is sometimes very difficult, as relationships are hard
love is usually one person giving more then the other
love is hard times...and not only when it's easy to love
love is forgiveness
love is allowance, and not stagnating a spouse with insecurities or co-dependency
love constantly evolves...changes....and never stays the same
no two people are ever on the same plain at the same time
love is trust, without it, there is nothing
love is being confident enough to allow the other person their own space and quality time to self explore, continue with their hobbies.
love is encouraging, even though you may feel slighted or a little left behind..to encourage your spouse to exceed to their potential
love is not cruel
love is not controlling
love is not being unfaithful
love is not running away when the going gets tough, for it is the hard times that makes love stronger.
love is a spiritual fulfillment...and most powerful
love is a very special gift of friendship
love is miraculous
love is a bottomless pit
love is two people knowing without knowing
love is...and forever will be, but...it is not, using another person to take care of you
love is, mutual respect...and appreciation
love is caring for your spouses friends and allowing them to continue friendships
love is not harsh words, but understanding...
love is passion, romance
love is loving when it is most difficult to love...
Okay this question is the result of a conversation with an online friend.
And I got to thinking about love and finding out that there are, supposedly, different kinds of love (well I kind of knew that).
But, really, some of the stuff I read is kind of disheartening. (BTW, if you look up love in the dictionary there are about a gazillion definitions.)
According to one psychologist there are two basic types of love: compassionate love and passionate love.
Compassionate love is characterized by mutual respect, attachment, affection, and trust. Compassionate love usually develops out of feelings of mutual understanding and shared respect for each other.
Passionate love is characterized by intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety, and affection.It is also said that this type of love is possesive and extremely conditional. When these intense emotions are reciprocated, people feel elated and fulfilled. Unreciprocated love leads to feelings of despondency and despair.
Supposedly passionate love is extremely transitory lasting from about 6months to a year and a half.
Ideally passionate love will eventually turn into compassionate love, but according to many psychologist and others that is rare.
Other sources say that compassionate love is ...love without conditions..... spiritual love or universal love. It has nothing to do with whether you like the person or not...you would still show compassionate love to a person regardless of if you liked them. A good thing.
Hmmm............. "passionate love" doesn't sound that bad if you get rid of the anxiety and too much possesiveness. But then you still have the conditions that when not fulfilled spell the end of "love". Bummer.
Okay so, why can't an initial "love" which is passionate then move into a more unconditional "passionate" form of love for that person? Isn't that what we are all aiming for?
Otherwise, you (not you specifically), really can't or wouldn't sustain a one on one kind of love for any length of time. Because it seems that it would always be somewhat destructive (that possesiveness and the conditions). And pretty much be doomed to end.
And the compassionate love that is labeled universal love is wonderful and I'm all for it but it seems to really be completely different from the love you feel specifically for a life partner.
So any way, it goes round and round. You can find all kinds of descriptions of and definitions for love in all of its forms but what are you looking for ?
And do you think that what most people think of as love is really all that conditional and therefore doomed to end?
(yep, thinking about this waaaaaaay too much but I hate it when questions get stuck in my head!)
Yes, this is a little "busy" and maybe overanalyzed... have always respected your posts however... to me love is two people always knowing and never questioning that they have a soft place to land with each other... and the thrill of adventures and experiences that have come by and to come ahead, lets find out whats around the next turn. I believe that we should have someone who adores us as much as we adore them... the sweetest thing in the world is seeing couples in their 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's holding hands, you know it is...T&C
Last edited by The716; 12-18-2007 at 06:10 PM..
Reason: schpelling
yeah, what Cremebrulee said! I must spread the reps around before...
Love is ignoring the socks left on the floor again and the seat left up again.
Love is NOT saying "yes, that makes you look fat"
I don't remember where I heard this but... a loving and lasting relationship is one that goes in cycles. You will always have times where one will feel in love(passionately) and one won't. The trick is never getting to the point where both of you 'aren't'. It was stated better than that, but the general idea is there.
Love is ignoring the socks left on the floor again and the seat left up again.
Love is NOT saying "yes, that makes you look fat"
Sounds more like a failure to communicate.
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