irritated with nagging wife (kiss, children, personality, personal)
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This post is awfully reminiscent of Irish and his spoiled wife. Those threads that went on and on and on about his wife who wouldn't work, didn't want her kid to get a job and go to college? I'd post the link to those threads but don't know how.
Same writing style, just a slightly different scenario. I think this is Irish and another one of his "stories".
We are in our late 20s,( 28 to be exact), childless, and newly married. I went to UT, she skipped college and has done various jobs since high school, bud no longer works. We dated in high school, broke up a few times, but always found our way back to one another. Anyway, newly married and she's become irritating. She's always had bad days where it's best to just not " poke the bear". She'll whine about everything. At first, I tried being apologetic with " I'm sorry Honey, it was my fault", but that turns into " You should be sorry" so now I just go straight to irritated sarcasm. Few weeks ago I woke up, she wasn't there. I went on the treadmill, music in my headphones blaring. I get done running, walk upstairs and see all these grocery bags. First thing she says is " Gee, thanks for the help." There are 5 bags, 5. In the past " sorry Sweetie." would be the response, but now, like I said, over the top sarcasm. I turn to her and start the theatrics. " Oh God, you had to carry 5 bags, by yourself, Oh God say it ain't so, you should rest, how did you do such a monumental task? Oh the agony you endured, thank you." Probably not the best move, but its my last resort. She gets on me about a lot of things. But for every fight there is, there are a lot of fantastic moments too. Strongly considering counseling, haven't pulled the trigger yet.
Because thanking someone and showing appreciation for the things they do for you is what people do with their spouses. You don't like her attitude. Maybe she finds yours to be ungrateful, herself.
Is there a bridge around here?
Does she thank and praise him EVERY DAY for going to work and paying all the bills? I doubt it.
This post is awfully reminiscent of Irish and his spoiled wife. Those threads that went on and on and on about his wife who wouldn't work, didn't want her kid to get a job and go to college? I'd post the link to those threads but don't know how.
Same writing style, just a slightly different scenario. I think this is Irish and another one of his "stories".
maybe this is me pulling the trigger too quickly and out of nowhere, but I would like her to get a job, even though we, by choice, said " no" to being a 2 income household. I was up most of the night last night, no special reason, I just was, and that dawned on me. I'll pitch in therapy for sure. Pretty adamant about it too. I'm pitching it in therapy as an idea and hopefully the therapist sees my logic. I know what her response will be " well if I'm working a night shift, who's cooking dinner." I'm an adult, I can make a sufficient dinner by myself.
Last edited by BigTexan88; 07-13-2014 at 10:21 AM..
I would start with part-time at least. She's gonna throw a fit.
I also would not lead off with that at therapy. I am sure it will come up since apparently she has a policy against working, but you have other problems to talk about.
maybe this is me pulling the trigger too quickly and out of nowhere, but I would like her to get a job, even though we, by choice, said " no" to being a 2 income household. I was up most of the night last night, no special reason, I just was, and that dawned on me. I'll pitch in therapy for sure. Pretty adamant about it too. I'm pitching it in therapy as an idea and hopefully the therapist sees my logic. I know what her response will be " well if I'm working a night shift, who's cooking dinner." I'm an adult, I can make a sufficient dinner by myself.
What about volunteering? Are there any causes that she feels strongly about?
If I had a husband who made enough money that I didn't have to work, I would never be bored. I can only imagine how much time I would be able to invest in my own writing, causes, and other personal pursuits.
What about volunteering? Are there any causes that she feels strongly about?
If I had a husband who made enough money that I didn't have to work, I would never be bored. I can only imagine how much time I would be able to invest in my own writing, causes, and other personal pursuits.
I could see her somehow, working with kids. Her mom teaches junior high English so maybe she could volunteer after school or something along those lines.
maybe I'm looking at the problem in too complex of a way. Maybe she's just the type who needs praise for everything she does, to be thanked after every task. Trust me, I appreciate her, but I don't verbalize it because in my mind, it's a given, I'm her husband, of course I appreciate it. I don't ask for praise every time I come home because, In my mind, I know that because she's my wife, she already appreciates it. Maybe in return, it'll get in her head " wow, he appreciates me, I appreciate him, I'm not going to nit pick and get fussy all the time".
Trust me, I appreciate her, but I don't verbalize it because in my mind, it's a given, I'm her husband, of course I appreciate it. I don't ask for praise every time I come home because, In my mind, I know that because she's my wife, she already appreciates it.
This ^^^ is the beginnings of "taking her for granted."
This is why they say marriage takes work. You have to think of her first, and vice versa. You can't just sit back and think, "We're good, right?" and expect to last.
But constant compliments are not going to make it all better.
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