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Your post has several key elements that point to the right answer.
The answer is you are not loved by this man the way you want to be loved.
He is not over his ex.
He laid hands on you.
1. A real man doesn't bully women. A real man can handle things without violence.
2. After laying hands on you, he tried to set you up as the violent one. It means he is a cold and calculating manipulator. He is number one in own his life. Even his daughter does not rate as high as he does in his own eyes.
3. He has zero respect for you.
4. He is obsessive about his ex. You have no way of knowing how sick his attachment is to her. She is out of his life for a reason, and I bet she left him. When a relationship breaks up, usually one person has resolved the break up to themselves and the other person is shocked when it happens. He has not let go of things, and you are in the middle of their unresolved business. That is a very unhealthy place for you to be.
You need to become more educated about domestic violence and make a 100% promise to yourself that nobody will ever lay hands on you again. Men like that are dangerous. Find a resource to help you learn about domestic violence and the "cycle of violence". Short of a miracle, this will not automatically get better for you. Work on becoming a healthy minded woman.
LOL... people's reading skills amaze me.... read the friggin opening post... she's the one that got upset and throw a beat down, he forcefully removed her from blocking his way, she's the one that took it more physical.... heck it's in the title of the damn OP.......
LOL... people's reading skills amaze me.... read the friggin opening post... she's the one that got upset and throw a beat down, he forcefully removed her from blocking his way, she's the one that took it more physical.... heck it's in the title of the damn OP.......
Amazing how she started the fight over something that should be normal in their lives since he has an ex wife and a child with said ex wife.
She blocked the door so he could not leave,
She started beating on him after he tossed her out of the way
She followed him into the other room where the child witness her being physical with him
She slapped, kicked, hit and punched him
yet......
he is the one who is the abuser alone and she is the victim alone....(gag)
LOL... people's reading skills amaze me.... read the friggin opening post... she's the one that got upset and throw a beat down, he forcefully removed her from blocking his way, she's the one that took it more physical.... heck it's in the title of the damn OP.......
I tried to rep you, but I have to spread it around first. After reading the first couple of pages, I decided to stay out of this thread as I knew where it was heading. However, I do feel the need to say that it's pretty deplorable that, in all that she did, some of the posters brush her actions off as not a big deal. It's really not surprising, though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610
Amazing how she started the fight over something that should be normal in their lives since he has an ex wife and a child with said ex wife.
She blocked the door so he could not leave,
She started beating on him after he tossed her out of the way
She followed him into the other room where the child witness her being physical with him
She slapped, kicked, hit and punched him
yet......
he is the one who is the abuser alone and she is the victim alone....(gag)
Like I said to Chowhound, this argument is pretty much a losing battle in these parts.
Why are people attacking the OP for backhanding this guy?
He grabbed you? Then *threw* you into a bed? Then lured his child into the situation to characterize you as an animal?
Okay, let me say some things first:
1. You are not his wife nor the mother of his children. It's normal to show concern for children, but regarding his schedule with them, that's not your business and you aren't in a position to control his right to see his daughter and the mother of his daughter, ex or not, whenever he chooses. You're the side chick. Stay in your lane.
2. You have every right to slap the hanky out of him for throwing you around like a dog. Do not feel guilty about this. You did nothing to deserve him physically attacking you.
3. This relationship should be over. Find someone who will be able to be attentive the way you see fit and make you happy, preferably someone single without children. There is nothing wrong with you, just leave him.
Good luck.
Let's back up here. Sadly, just like the police would, everyone is taking this hysterically jealous woman's word at face value.
Luckily I've never dealt with the police in this type of situation, but I have dealt with super jealous women. I HIGHLY doubt he pushed her and if he did, it was in self defense to a woman slapping him and pushing him in a jealous fit / rage.
Of course she won't admit she attacked him, she wouldn't get the support online that you see given here.
Most men are not abusive and most know the consequences of being so. Again I doubt this seemingly good father would risk seeing his daughter. She attacked him first, I guarantee it.
Edit: did not see the part about blocking the door. Removing someone from a door way who is trying to force you to stay in a room against your will, which is technically kidnapping , is not assault nor is her assault and battery justified by such self preservation.
Unless you have formal training in boxing or martial arts, I am going to assume that when you say you 'punched' his back you are not talking about the kind of hitting that breaks bones or does any serious damage. So yes, I think that is less violent than throwing you from the door onto the bed.
I think the way you accuse yourself, but not him, is pathological. I think you need psychological help for that, not for your 'violence'. And you need counseling help, not drugs. Drugs won't do anything for you.
As for everyone else's comments about you both being in the wrong, both being immature, and the relationship being f'd up six ways from sunday -- I agree with all that. There is nothing wrong with someone being on good terms with their ex and speaking well of them. Or do you mean stuff like, 'She is better than you'?
You two need to learn how to both treat each other with respect and kindness, and of course not bring the kid into conflicts. Or you need to break up. If you are not both excited about learning some communication skills right now, this month, then you should break up.
Compassionate Communication classes are free or extremely cheap and widely available. Google them. Also known as NVC; here is a place to check out your local classes.
So a man cannot remove a woman trying to force you to stay in a room against your will, which technically is kidnapping, but a woman can literally punch and slap a man, assault and battery, with out consequence if she does not have martial arts training?
Wow.
The mental leaps people are willing to make to absolve women of responsibility.
You guys need counseling. The guy wasn't right at all to hit you, but you weren't right to hit back, and that's pathetic that he would treat you like that in front of his daughter. It doesn't sound good either that the argument started over a pretty small thing.
If you have a religion, a good way to deal with this is just walk off, move away, and head to your place of worship. Cry it out in front of god. Discuss this situation in detail with the priest, and what practical solutions can be implemented. I am sure he will help you and ease the burden in your heart. After all, he is god's loyal representative. Do this before its too late. After this, I suggest you meditate regularly. Forget about all the negativity that has happened, and clear up your mind. Start afresh, and forget the painful past.
Think of this as a demolition and reconstruction process. The old building is demolished (break existing relationship), rubble is cleaned (meet with the priest and seek help), Foundation is laid (start rebuilding), and bricks are stacked (start developing a new relationship).
Meh. I guess if that's your cup of tea.. But most priests are hardly relationship counselors. Saying Hail Marys isn't going to turn this woman's abusive boyfriend into a nice guy again and it won't really help this woman's jealousy/control issues.
Did your boyfriend say you could, or are you just thinking that because you read it here?
The guys who are saying it here are not telling the truth. They have not read your other posts and they do not know the situation. They are just saying it because they want to hurt women and upset them. Don't listen to them.
I'm sorry but as the initiator of the conflict, as well attempting false imprisonment, she surely could get charged in this matter. There was no self defense on her part. Only assault and battery.
Did your boyfriend say you could, or are you just thinking that because you read it here?
The guys who are saying it here are not telling the truth. They have not read your other posts and they do not know the situation. They are just saying it because they want to hurt women and upset them. Don't listen to them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones
Oh come ON, Chow! You are lying to yourself. There is a difference between a girl slapping a guy after he throws her, and 'beating someone up'. No one was hurt.
If you want go find an example of a man who was sent to prison for slapping a woman who was bigger and stronger than he was, good luck.
You don't have to draw blood to"hurt" the other party or to be charged with assault and battery. Getting slapped hurts. Being punched in the back hurts. Again, he doesn't need to go to the hospital for her to be charged
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