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Old 07-12-2014, 03:08 PM
 
Location: MA
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How soon did you or would you move in with a S/O? How did it work out?
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Old 07-12-2014, 03:22 PM
 
Location: In the desert, by the mirage.
2,322 posts, read 922,879 times
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In my last relationship the young lady moved in with me within 90 days of officially being a couple.

I found out much later that she wanted to move out (within 90 days of moving in) after a small argument but her mom convinced her to stay.

So six months in she wanted out.

The relationship lasted 2 years which was 18 months too long

Next relationship there will be a much longer waiting period before anybody does any moving in
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Old 07-12-2014, 03:33 PM
 
Location: Tricity, PL
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If my goal were to get married - I would not move in with a SO.

Not generalizing the issue, but the way I see it men and women seem to view moving in together differently.
Women are more likely to see it as a step toward marriage, and men are more likely to see it as a "test run" for marriage. That does NOT mean, they should not check their sexual incompatibilities, but I think women should avoid cohabitation if they want to get married.
Women who progress from dating to sleeping over, to sleeping over a lot, to cohabitation tend to have less fruitful conversations about rings, commitments or setting date for marriage.
Living together is not motivating many guys to get married. What for? many think - they have already everything what a marriage would bring without actual commitment and marriage. Some successfully drag it for many years, as we can see from many posts on this forum.

Last edited by elnina; 07-12-2014 at 04:17 PM..
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Old 07-12-2014, 04:24 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
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I use weekend stay-overs throughout a one year span as a barometer to gauge our living compatibility before I would consider a live-in arrangement.
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Old 07-12-2014, 04:46 PM
 
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Well, I wouldn't marry someone without living with them first. But I could see agreeing to a time limit before you move in.
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Old 07-12-2014, 04:55 PM
 
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I didn't until we were married. We stayed with eachother on weekends but that was it.

If I'm not married, I'm not sharing space permanently.
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Old 07-12-2014, 05:05 PM
 
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Depends... but close to a year of dating beforehand seems reasonable to me. I wouldn't move in with someone unless I'd spent enough time with them to get a sense of how things would work out long term.

Also, would you be moving into an apartment together? Or are you both already paying mortgages? (And I'm assuming kids and inheritances aren't part of the equation either...they weren't mentioned in the OP)

If you're older and established in your careers and each have a mortgage at your own place, it makes it a bit more complicated. Someone has to sell to move, so a bigger commitment is implied. Then you have to work out the payments on the single mortgage going forward, in case you wind up splitting up down the road. Moving in together may or may not be worth it, so you have to really discuss what kind of commitment you're both expecting from the relationship. And whether or not it's truly preferable to keeping your own places, or alternatively, simply getting married.
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Old 07-12-2014, 05:12 PM
 
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We were in a LDR for about 2 or 3 years and visiting each other when we had vacation time saved up. I moved to be with him, and I was there for about 6 years.

It "worked out" by ending. He spent a huge amount of time with a co-worker, but they were "just friends". I left.
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Old 07-12-2014, 05:43 PM
 
Location: New England
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Husband and I started dating at 17 yo. in Oct. I turned 18 in Nov and him that Feb. We moved in together by that Aug .. been together 14 years married 10 of those.

Parents told us it was too soon we were too young. We save all our money, bought all our furniture at Goodwill or took it from the side of the road. We made it work and ever asked for a cent in help.

My one and only marriage and only relationship, ever, has outlasted my mothers last 5 marriages.. and divorces. When you know you just know
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Old 07-12-2014, 06:11 PM
 
Location: Earth
4,575 posts, read 5,188,065 times
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If I did move in, it wouldn't be any sooner than a year of dating. But in truth, I would prefer to save living together foe after we're married. Sometimes guys can get comfortable with a live-in girlfriend, and see no reason for marriage when they're already sharing a house. But not all the time of course. My brother is getting married, and he lived with his girlfriend for 2-4 years.
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