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Old 07-14-2014, 10:10 PM
 
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,133,494 times
Reputation: 3814

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My first love was in first grade. His name was Charlie, and he was really cool and fun. He reminded me in so may ways of Charlie Brown from Peanuts.

Although a true love, it sadly broke up after my Elementary School was changed. Sure, I think of him for one reason or another every once in a very long while, but he was not my soul mate.

I dated in high school like anyone else, but I rarely think back to those relationships - superficial and childish at best. Puppy love? Sure, true love? At the time I would have said yes in one or two cases, but in each case it genuinely would prove to be a fling.

I met my husband when I was 18, and somehow knew pretty quickly that he was the one I would be with for the rest of my life. He was 33, and had several relationships under his belt at that point in his life, but nothing commited or meaningful. It would seem in hindsight, we were just passing time while waiting for each other to finally meet.

I think we prove that nothing that came before or will come afterward (assuming we dont die together, at the same time) will ever out-shine what has come to be simply us, always and forever. I even called dibs on the next lifetime.

 
Old 07-14-2014, 10:21 PM
 
Location: NY
9,131 posts, read 19,871,555 times
Reputation: 11706
Quote:
Originally Posted by 70's Music Girl View Post
I'm just wondering how many people in their lifetime meet their True Love and spend the rest of their life with that person. I know that Real Love has a power of its own. Can't try to manufacture it, it's just there, real love is powerful.

I believe love has to find the person, someone can't find it, they can be open to love but it has/will come to them.

I've heard that many times your first love is your true love.

I know of some really beautiful relationships that are each others first love, I don't think this is that common. I also know couples that were each others first love and for diff. reasons married diff. people then divored - never stopped thinking of their first love - then reunited later in life.

(I'm using "True Love" instead of "soulmate" since it's so overused)
I met who I thought was my true love in college. Just infatuated with this woman. I thought for sure we would get married, etc. She graduated a year ahead, moved out of town, and we kept the relationship going long distance for about two and a half years before things broke down.

It took me a LONG time to get over her and settle things in my mind.

What I realized was that I made her "the one" in my own mind, and a more analytically biased approach to evaluating ourselves would have really shown me that although a great person, we were in no way a very good match for each other. Different likes, priorities in life, wants, direction, etc.

I am grateful, because now I am married to an amazing women who I love a little more every day, who wants and values the same things in life that I do, and who loves me as much as I love her.

All that said, it has taught me that your "true love" or "soul mate" is in part what you make of them. My wife and I are each other's true love because of so many factors, and none of it is magic. It is our attitude, friendship, and relationship with each other. What we do for each other, how we interact, etc.
 
Old 07-15-2014, 12:08 AM
 
Location: USA
59 posts, read 50,128 times
Reputation: 123
Talking No, but I would like to

I have met may be two or three women who could have taken that spot, but I guess it wasn't meant to be (one got another bf two months later, I wasn't fast enough or she just wasn't the one, she liked me though, she even asked if I was with someone; the other relocated out of the state, she was smart and special, a great match for me, but we lost touch after that; the third was ideal, but we lost touch after talking twice and I didn't have any contact info!! And I didn't run into her again either. She was into me for sure, she even delayed leaving the parking spot once just to talk to me for one full hour, but I didn't ask for her phone and neither did she). So yes, I haven't met the special one. I am in my mid-twenties and I would like to meet someone like that, but for me it is going to be harder than usual because I am in a minority and I like a minority too. By "minority" I am not talking about races or anything like that, but about personalities, hobbies, and lifestyles.

Like my nickname here suggests, I am an intellectual at heart. I love learning, reading, analyzing, and doing smart and creative things. I like writing too. I am not a stereotypical nerd (no glasses, not fat, no problems with my self-esteem, quite smart but not a genius or anything like that), but I like many things that people like that enjoy. I don't care about things that most in the mid-20s crowd love, such as drinking, dancing, concerts, and night clubs; and I am not interested in the women that are into that, regardless of how beautiful they may be. The women I like are sweet ladies, who are nice, friendly, and feminine, and who definitely haven't been partying or jumping from one boyfriend to another. If they are smart, it is a massive plus. As you may see, this is where the problem with finding my "true love" is: the women who I like are a minority and the women who actually prefer someone like me (and who don't care about "fun" things like partying and concerts) are also a minority. On the other hand, I don't have to struggle as much when it comes to other things, such as finding a good job. But yes, finding and meeting a "soulmate" is hard when you are different (even if it is different in very good ways, such as my case).
 
Old 07-15-2014, 01:02 AM
 
8,781 posts, read 9,401,996 times
Reputation: 9547
I don't subscribe to the idea of "one" fated person rules them all, but I believe I have defiantly found one of the people out there who compliments me in all the right ways

11 years strong and more in love than ever.
 
Old 07-15-2014, 01:19 AM
 
3,158 posts, read 4,563,808 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydney123 View Post
Awesome!

Thank you~~
 
Old 07-15-2014, 02:15 AM
SF
 
286 posts, read 323,113 times
Reputation: 207
Quote:
Originally Posted by 70's Music Girl View Post
I'm just wondering how many people in their lifetime meet their True Love and spend the rest of their life with that person. I know that Real Love has a power of its own. Can't try to manufacture it, it's just there, real love is powerful.

I believe love has to find the person, someone can't find it, they can be open to love but it has/will come to them.

I've heard that many times your first love is your true love.

I know of some really beautiful relationships that are each others first love, I don't think this is that common. I also know couples that were each others first love and for diff. reasons married diff. people then divored - never stopped thinking of their first love - then reunited later in life.

(I'm using "True Love" instead of "soulmate" since it's so overused)


No I haven't

I don't think I have one, even if I do it will never happen anyway given who I am, that's the way it, I know it, not everyone is made for love/true love
 
Old 07-15-2014, 05:33 AM
 
Location: I don't know..If you find me, let me know.
639 posts, read 675,342 times
Reputation: 673
If you are talking about "True Love" then no. I haven't found yet..
 
Old 07-15-2014, 07:05 AM
 
341 posts, read 452,362 times
Reputation: 338
As others have said, I don't think there is ONE true love. But I do think that so much of who you end up with has to do with timing! Maybe that's what makes them "the one". My husband and I are very well suited...except for when we aren't, LOL. Actually, over the years, we've grown in different ways, but fundamentally we are both committed to our marriage and our children and have worked through many things together. We have a stick-to-it-iveness that I don't think many couples have. In that sense alone, we are each other's true loves. We will never give up on each other. He is my life partner. But I have had other very strong attractions and emotional connections with people other than him over the course of my life. He isn't the only person I've ever been in love with.
 
Old 07-15-2014, 11:21 AM
 
Location: NW Nevada
18,126 posts, read 15,515,021 times
Reputation: 17108
Well, I can say that my current relationship is quite special, and I have never had feelings this deep before her. As to whether she is "the one" I can't say that, even as much as I love her, I know how life can be. It giveth and it taketh away. If I were to lose her, for any reason, I would not form another steady relationship.

This is the LAST time I will give my heart away. To lose her, and I almost did, in a most hideous way, would crush me, and would slam the door on my heart. It would be the last broken heart I would be willing to suffer. I don't buy into the "soulmate" thing. That's a rather childish concept, that doesn't wash when held up to the light. Life is cruel, and I have no reason to believe that any relationship is as solid as all that.

Things have a way of finding the perfect places to hit a relationship, for maximum damage. We have been hit thus. A totally unforeseeable and seriously devastating incident. A relationship , such as I have never experienced, that couldn't have been more secure and certain , and life and the world found a way to hurt us...bad! So far, we are fighting the good fight. The level of commitment to each other has had to skyrocket.

The days of wine and roses were short lived. No tried test of love can I even imagine, than what we are going through. So, in this vein, I guess she is the "one". This is a whole new world for us now, and much of it is no fun. However, when we look at how it could be if we were not together in this, we realize that things could be a lot darker. Being there for each other makes the situation far more tenable. For my part, I am wholly committed and engaged. "True Love"? Well, its love, for sure, and its as true as life will allow.
 
Old 07-15-2014, 05:05 PM
 
Location: Concord, California
943 posts, read 1,001,383 times
Reputation: 3259
Quote:
Originally Posted by ohio_peasant View Post
I can not speak intelligently of truth, or of love, let alone of their fusion. Such wisdom is accessible only when sufficiently removed from the chase, in quiet and dispassionate introspection – which must never be conflated with premature surrender. And yet I do believe that I loved my ex-wife truly, and she me. But life interposed itself between us and truth, and we parted. Today I seek a repeat of those former times, like a wandering ghost pining for reunion with its dead body. And all the more ghostly goes the trek, for what discerning woman would abide comparison with my ex? The paradox of truth is that we must let go of it, to leave it in abstraction independent of ourselves. And only after new experience subsumes the old, can we prepare ourselves for truth anew, and with it an eventual love.
You have such a way with words, even though the sentiments are discouraging in a way, it is the sad truth. We do have to - like a wandering ghost, separate from the idea of what was in the process of moving on.
I think I'm there, and its been like an amputation of the soul.
Nothing hurts like truly loving someone and then having this happen. Amputation of the soul.
It doesn't stop me from believing in love, or forgetting what it was like to love, and wanting to love again. It does, however, stop me from feeling that I can fall in love and trust easily.
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