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I noticed that when women give out relationship advice to a woman, it is usually, "don't worry, you are perfectly fine gal, you will EVENTUALLY land the right guy."
It is pretty much implying the girl is already "perfect" and everything from here on out is "luck"...thus her success is linked to "luck"
When guys give relationship advice to guys, it is usually, "you lack confidence. You gotta be more confident, outgoing, etc. " or "don't worry, just approach more girls." or "you were too shy." or "you were being too c*cky" or whatever.
It is pretty much implying the guy has room to improve and his success is linked to his actions.
I noticed that when women give out relationship advice to a woman, it is usually, "don't worry, you are perfectly fine gal, you will EVENTUALLY land the right guy."
It is pretty much implying the girl is already "perfect" and everything from here on out is "luck"...thus her success is linked to "luck"
When guys give relationship advice to guys, it is usually, "you lack confidence. You gotta be more confident, outgoing, etc. " or "don't worry, just approach more girls." or "you were too shy." or "you were being too c*cky" or whatever.
It is pretty much implying the guy has room to improve and his success is linked to his actions.
So as to why their advices fail. You're never good 'nuff is the underlying message.
You see, when you want to attract a perfect partner for you and a perfect relationship for you, reality is no one is perfect.
When we say "take it or leave it" it means, you gotta accept yourself as a person first, own what you have, and love yourself. Your energy attracts someone similar.
If your advice is to bash on your own self-esteem, then no one's gonna love you. But, if you want to hear that advice, and think you'll build up your self-confidence that way, then kuddos to you!
So as to why their advices fail. You're never good 'nuff is the underlying message.
You see, when you want to attract a perfect partner for you and a perfect relationship for you, reality is no one is perfect.
When we say "take it or leave it" it means, you gotta accept yourself as a person first, own what you have, and love yourself. Your energy attracts someone similar.
If your advice is to bash on your own self-esteem, then no one's gonna love you. But, if you want to hear that advice, and think you'll build up your self-confidence that way, then kuddos to you!
kats right. remember that traditionally its the men that approach the women, so the men have to have at least enough confidence in themselves to get the ball rolling. as far as advice i give to women, it is similar to the advice i give to the men. women too have to confidence in themselves, again at least enough to get the ball rolling.
Basically says to me that the only person you should trust in terms of romance is yourself.
Sometimes advice helps, most other times it causes problems. People can point the finger into what they think is the "right" direction, but it's really up to the person who is in the relationship to make the decision.
Everyone knows what their problem is, they just need to figure out how to go about fixing it. Everyone has their own opinion and a different perspective. You have to learn how to trust your own judgement. Live and learn. Insight helps though.
I noticed that when women give out relationship advice to a woman, it is usually, "don't worry, you are perfectly fine gal, you will EVENTUALLY land the right guy."
It is pretty much implying the girl is already "perfect" and everything from here on out is "luck"...thus her success is linked to "luck"
When guys give relationship advice to guys, it is usually, "you lack confidence. You gotta be more confident, outgoing, etc. " or "don't worry, just approach more girls." or "you were too shy." or "you were being too c*cky" or whatever.
It is pretty much implying the guy has room to improve and his success is linked to his actions.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by techcrium
I noticed that when women give out relationship advice to a woman, it is usually, "don't worry, you are perfectly fine gal, you will EVENTUALLY land the right guy."
It is pretty much implying the girl is already "perfect" and everything from here on out is "luck"...thus her success is linked to "luck"
When guys give relationship advice to guys, it is usually, "you lack confidence. You gotta be more confident, outgoing, etc. " or "don't worry, just approach more girls." or "you were too shy." or "you were being too c*cky" or whatever.
It is pretty much implying the guy has room to improve and his success is linked to his actions.
When women give men relationship advice, it is often similar to that they give to women.
When men give relationship advice to women, it is often similar to that they give to men.
It isn't about the gender of the recipient like you imply, it is about the gender of the giver.
Good points! This is so true in our societal gender dynamic. I dated this guy one time, and I just knew it wasn't going to work out! I like to give solutions, and he wanted me to help boost his self-esteem by giving him support. We kept getting into fights, because he would complain "I wanted you to tell me that my idea was really good, not tell me how to improve my idea."
I had to tell him, I am horrible at that stuff, you need someone who thinks that way. You can vent all you want, but I just don't read that as looking for compliments. I pitch solutions!
It was an important life lesson for me. I don't fall neatly into the gender boxes, so if a potential partner wants someone who falls a little more neatly then I'm not the one for them. I am 50% traditional, and 50% not.
This is pretty insightful... while there are exceptions, for the most part when women talk about a problem, they are looking to be consoled. When men talk about a problem, they are looking for a solution. So much advice for couples centers around this. They tell men, if your wife tells you how hard her day is, listen... don't try to "fix things" unless she specifically asks. For women, they say if your husband comes home with a problem he tells you about, try to help him figure it out, he's trying to solve it and needs your help. The basic premise is, culturally, women tend to be comforters and nurtures and men tend to be protectors and problem solvers. Again, there are exceptions, but overall, it's the way people tend to be.
I think a lot of people realize this innately and their advice could be reflecting that.
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