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I say let it go unless you're happy just being friends, or you're willing to be the FWB. How many times have I had a man say he wasn't ready for a R, only to get into one with the next woman he dated? Well more than once anyway. And then you'd be around to see that. If you don't mind, go ahead.
Met a guy on a dating website. We went on a few dates, I really liked him and was attracted to him so I told him. He said he was attracted to me too, but that he was only looking for friends right now. He got out of a 7 year relationship a few months ago and doesn't feel he is ready for a relationship. He said he's not ruling them out for forever, just not right now. We have remained friends, and talk and go out still. He knows I like him. I have been out with other guys, but have not found one that I have the same connection with. What is my best course of action here? I certainly don't want to force him into anything, but I do want him to consider me when he feels ready.
The best course of action here is to be patience, very patient here, as you rightly said, don't be hasty don't force him into anything that will push him away further. Everything seems to be good here so just wait it out, be positive and he'll tell you when he is ready, he'll surely consider you. Good luck
I say let it go unless you're happy just being friends, or you're willing to be the FWB. How many times have I had a man say he wasn't ready for a R, only to get into one with the next woman he dated? Well more than once anyway. And then you'd be around to see that. If you don't mind, go ahead.
Thanks. I actually thought about that, how guys say they don't want a relationship and then the next thing you know, he's dating someone.
I would think he is bull****ting me, but apparently he has gone on a date with someone else (before I came into the picture) and told her the same thing. He asked my opinion on it actually, because she started dating someone and told him she can't talk to him anymore. He asked me why she wouldn't want to talk to him anymore, if they were just friends. I had to explain to him that she probably liked him, and no longer felt comfortable talking to him when she was dating someone else.
Dude seriously doesn't seem to understand when someone likes him.
I have cut guys off before because I know they're bull****ting me, but with this one I just can't tell.
Why is he on a dating website if he doesn't want to date? I can tell you from multiple experiences do NOT expect anything from a guy who is recently out of a relationship. I don't think it matters how smart you are, how wonderful, how pretty, you will likely be his rebound girl - ya know - the girl who helps him learn how to date again, the girl who helps him feel good about himself again, so that he can commit to the girl he dates AFTER you.
I met "this guy." Within weeks of dumping me after I was intimate with him, he entered into about 2-3 relationships with other women. I still don't think he knows what he wants.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NK2012
Met a guy on a dating website. We went on a few dates, I really liked him and was attracted to him so I told him. He said he was attracted to me too, but that he was only looking for friends right now. He got out of a 7 year relationship a few months ago and doesn't feel he is ready for a relationship. He said he's not ruling them out for forever, just not right now. We have remained friends, and talk and go out still. He knows I like him. I have been out with other guys, but have not found one that I have the same connection with. What is my best course of action here? I certainly don't want to force him into anything, but I do want him to consider me when he feels ready.
I was in the exact same situation when I started seeing my wife. She was absolutely against any thing resembling a relationship. I stayed friends with her, and we went out occasionally over the months I knew her. She knew I was crazy about her, but I kept myself busy by dating other women, working out, and with work. I thought of Tonya often, but only occasionally reached out to her asking for a date or to see how she was.
Sometimes it's just a little thing that will spark emotions. With her, I sent her flowers on Valentine's day and in the card I put, "I know we're not in a relationship, but I care about you and think every woman should have flowers on Valentine's Day.". For whatever reason, that sentiment melted her heart and everything changed. We were engaged several months after that and are crazy in love and married now.
I'm not saying that this will have a happy ending, but you never know what can happen if you just keep in touch and stay friends. Good luck.
This guy needs space, so any sign of attachment, over-texting/Facebooking, pressure or demands will have him run for the hills. Give him space, be his friend and mean it. :-)
Met a guy on a dating website. We went on a few dates, I really liked him and was attracted to him so I told him. He said he was attracted to me too, but that he was only looking for friends right now. He got out of a 7 year relationship a few months ago and doesn't feel he is ready for a relationship. He said he's not ruling them out for forever, just not right now. We have remained friends, and talk and go out still. He knows I like him. I have been out with other guys, but have not found one that I have the same connection with. What is my best course of action here? I certainly don't want to force him into anything, but I do want him to consider me when he feels ready.
He is being upfront and honest, maybe later you two can become an item. However do not pine away, try to find someone else because he may never get with you except for being your friend.
I was in the exact same situation when I started seeing my wife. She was absolutely against any thing resembling a relationship. I stayed friends with her, and we went out occasionally over the months I knew her. She knew I was crazy about her, but I kept myself busy by dating other women, working out, and with work. I thought of Tonya often, but only occasionally reached out to her asking for a date or to see how she was.
Sometimes it's just a little thing that will spark emotions. With her, I sent her flowers on Valentine's day and in the card I put, "I know we're not in a relationship, but I care about you and think every woman should have flowers on Valentine's Day.". For whatever reason, that sentiment melted her heart and everything changed. We were engaged several months after that and are crazy in love and married now.
I'm not saying that this will have a happy ending, but you never know what can happen if you just keep in touch and stay friends. Good luck.
Wow! Good going! Congrats. Cool story.
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