I like being single because.... (woman, cheat, college, jealous)
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I think this sums up my perspective nicely as well. Even four weeks into dating someone, while the emotional and physical highs are great, the instability of it all is taking a bit of a toll on me. I've never had any issues with being single at all, this just kind of happened. Things were great and on an upward trajectory until the first bump/hurdle came and now I'm in a tizzy and I'm starting to think it just isn't worth it, which makes me sad. I should be able to face and deal with some adversity to make something work but yeah, the emotional upheaval just has me off balance and I don't like it. I'm feeling good, but now also bad, and decidedly not me.
Well, we're both about the same age, but you've been married before. I haven't. And it's been years since I've lived with a romantic partner. I'm pretty sure I'm too set in my ways to cohabitate with anyone but a platonic roommate. But who knows? Lightning could strike.
With your case, I think you need to do a cost/benefits analysis. How much happiness does the relationship bring you? And even with this latest speed bump, will it still add to rather than detract from your own happiness?
You're just a month in - how invested are you at this point?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector
Well, we're both about the same age, but you've been married before. I haven't. And it's been years since I've lived with a romantic partner. I'm pretty sure I'm too set in my ways to cohabitate with anyone but a platonic roommate. But who knows? Lightning could strike.
With your case, I think you need to do a cost/benefits analysis. How much happiness does the relationship bring you? And even with this latest speed bump, will it still add to rather than detract from your own happiness?
You're just a month in - how invested are you at this point?
I've never been married. I'm not that invested, just smitten. And the rest, I need to figure out. The next few dates will tell. Does it remain an issue? Or can we move on? If the former, it needs to end.
That is the downside of getting into relationships. I have been working on myself, getting my crap together and feeling really quite content in the process, but I know that my sense of well being and newly discovered stability is a fragile one as I still have so much emotional work to do, and then this weekend I meet a wonderful guy at a meetup event who has thrown me all of kilter too.
We can talk for hours- and did, our common interests are astounding and speaking with someone for that long, where you forget the time, is so special. But I went into a tail spin when he mentioned his romantic interest in me. I know 100% that I am not ready or healthy enough for that yet and then the drama starts... sigh. I hope for you that this can be worked out and you get it figured out. I send you totally platonic internet hugs.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellipses
We can talk for hours- and did, our common interests are astounding and speaking with someone for that long, where you forget the time, is so special. But I went into a tail spin when he mentioned his romantic interest in me. I know 100% that I am not ready or healthy enough for that yet and then the drama starts... sigh. I hope for you that this can be worked out and you get it figured out. I send you totally platonic internet hugs.
Thank you. I wasn't looking for a relationship, I was saving $$ for travel and a downpayment, and had FBs... and she isn't ready (recently out of a long LTR) and good with her FBs, but we met... what can you do?
I feel the same, and was on the same track. Minus the FBs ...I swear the universe has an interesting sense of humor, and I'm not laughing.
This morning the guy texts me and wants to hang out this weekend. I had to tell him no because I cannot date right now. Makes me sad and I hope I don't regret it, and didn't hurt his feelings too much, but considering my colorful, dysfunctional dating past I'm probably doing us both a favor until my head is on straight. Sigh.
Your home life is more stable compared to what? Questioned by whom? And a daily report?
I'm not following.
Compared to people who have to discuss every aspect of their lives with someone else. Compared to people who one day arrive home and the world starts falling down on them because of other people.
Yes, most people I know (most men actually) have to give a daily report of everything they did otherwise their wives/gfs suspect they are cheating. Women obviously don't expect the same of themselves, otherwise they are "independent strong women who don't need a man for anything".
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Your home life is more stable compared to what? Questioned by whom? And a daily report? 
