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My girlfriend is, at least I think, attractive by most standards. Now there's this guy who works with her who will just not leave her alone. In my opinion, he's obnoxious and annoying, and she did agree with me on that. However, she gave him her number and snapchat and always responds when he contacts her, and has conversations with him, and whenever she does some social outing with coworkers he always makes sure to come along even if he originally didn't plan to.
I believe her that she doesn't like him either as a friend or as more than friends. But she gets mad when I tell her not to talk to him, even though she says he's annoying! Her response: "He's nice enough, and he hasn't given me a reason to ignore him." She's shown me their conversations; he always has to say something about how much of a dbag I am, even though he barely knows me. (Now, I did do a little passive-aggressive stuff when I met him before, just some harsh looks and ignoring him when he talked) When I talked to him in private over the phone, I told him to back off, that my girlfriend is just that, my girlfriend, and that she has no interest in him whatsoever.
But when I told her what I did, she still got mad at me! She said "I don't want him to think I'm a [female dog]!" to which I replied, "well I don't want him thinking he has a chance with you". I don't want this guy to ruin our relationship, and before you tell me I'm an idiot for thinking that my gf doesn't like him, my girlfriend has flat out rejected his attempts at asking her out. Maybe I have jealousy issues? I just don't understand why she keeps talking to him.
This type of scenario very rarely works out in favor of the relationship. This is the beginning of a very slippery slope and if you're not careful it could be you who pushes her over the edge.
If your gf has really flat out told him "No" after he asked her out? For him to remain so persistent, he sounds like he lives in fantasy land. She may be trying to maintain the peace with him because she has to work with him. As long as she doesn't find him threatening, you probably shouldn't either. He sounds more like a lost puppy than a stalker.
So far, what I'm taking away from this is that your girlfriend has an overly controlling boyfriend with a jealous streak.
She's a grown-ass woman. She's managing the situation and has not expressed anything but mild annoyance. You, OP, however, are acting like a spoiled child and a bully.
Frankly, if I were her, I'd be done with both of you.
This type of scenario very rarely works out in favor of the relationship. This is the beginning of a very slippery slope and if you're not careful it could be you who pushes her over the edge.
Go Avs!!!
That's exactly what I'm worried about.. I don't push her too much about him any more.
Sorry, I'm a Minnesota native and I have a place in my heart for the Wild too. Central Division playoff spots are going to be a total toss-up next year. Just hope those Av's get their butts kicked again by the Wild!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ottawa2011
If your gf has really flat out told him "No" after he asked her out? For him to remain so persistent, he sounds like he lives in fantasy land. She may be trying to maintain the peace with him because she has to work with him. As long as she doesn't find him threatening, you probably shouldn't either. He sounds more like a lost puppy than a stalker.
She said something like "No, because I don't have any feelings for you, and I have a boyfriend." I think that's what it is, keeping the peace because of the work thing, but it just really irritates me. The guy calls her beautiful, amazing, etc. all the time and she doesn't put a stop to it.
So far, what I'm taking away from this is that your girlfriend has an overly controlling boyfriend with a jealous streak.
She's a grown-ass woman. She's managing the situation and has not expressed anything but mild annoyance. You, OP, however, are acting like a spoiled child and a bully.
Frankly, if I were her, I'd be done with both of you.
It's not like I beat the guy up for looking at her the wrong way..
It's not like I beat the guy up for looking at her the wrong way..
No but you did post this:
"(Now, I did do a little passive-aggressive stuff when I met him before, just some harsh looks and ignoring him when he talked) When I talked to him in private over the phone, I told him to back off, that my girlfriend is just that, my girlfriend, and that she has no interest in him whatsoever."
Back off and let your girlfriend handle her own ****. Especially since she works with this guy. Or are you gonna pee on her to mark your territory when she leaves for work tomorrow?
Her talking to him is giving him mixed signals. She's too afraid of hurting his feelings. Unfortunately, it's on her to tell this guy to stop. She works with him so you can't expect her to completely cut all conversation with him, but she needs to set boundaries. Boundaries that could limit the amount of times he massages her and what time of day he's allowed to so she has time with you. He also needs to respect her wishes to stop messaging when you two are having some time together. She also needs to respect your wishes as her boyfriend to ignore this man's messages. I think if he makes any more advances on her such as ask her out especially knowing that she's already taken, she needs to cut all conversation with him entirely including at work. Unless it's work related, she really has no reason to talk to this man if he can't take no for an answer.
You do not sound unreasonable in your requests. You haven't explained anything pointing to irrational jealousy. You sound very fair to her and understanding of her need to talk to this guy. You also trust her and she needs to consider your feelings when you ask her not to talk to this guy. It's a fair request. If this guy is obsessive, it can only get worse. It may not be that. It may only be nothing more than a crush or an innocent flirting friendship, but it's a fine line between appropriate friendship and non-appropriate friendship and that line needs to be drawn.
The things men some men will put up with for a cute face.
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