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Old 07-16-2014, 11:20 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,415 posts, read 47,402,095 times
Reputation: 47680

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"Is it just me, or do most relationships/marriages not seem that great? "

Yeah... it's you!

"Just because your apartment window faces the dumpsters in the alley with all the bums doesn't mean that all of our windows have the same view."
GREAT statement!

 
Old 07-16-2014, 11:43 AM
 
Location: Toronto
15 posts, read 12,025 times
Reputation: 26
My opinion is that if you are still single (and never even had a LTR) at your age, it's most likely you.
 
Old 07-16-2014, 11:47 AM
 
Location: Ohio
1,724 posts, read 1,596,543 times
Reputation: 1896
Just you, bro.
 
Old 07-16-2014, 12:15 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,436 posts, read 34,627,532 times
Reputation: 73585
Sounds like sour grapes, you're 28 and never been in a relationship...... so they must suck.
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Old 07-16-2014, 01:08 PM
 
7,235 posts, read 7,021,234 times
Reputation: 12265
Your relationship is generally as good as the rest of your life is. Life has a natural series of ebbs and flows, so do relationships.

I used to have next door neighbors who constantly had loud, dramatic fights in the hallway. They also seemed to be chronically unemployed, have substance abuse issues and severe anger management issues. I don't think a lack of romance was the core of their troubles.

There's also the fact that an outsider will never understand the true nature of the bond two people in a long term relationshipp have. There's a reason "intimacy" is....intimate.
 
Old 07-16-2014, 01:11 PM
 
Location: Armsanta Sorad
5,648 posts, read 8,041,650 times
Reputation: 2462
I totally agree. Relationships are a waste of time. You dodged a major one.
 
Old 07-16-2014, 01:16 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,116,307 times
Reputation: 22275
My husband has been watching this financial course online - and there was a chapter on life insurance. The professor was talking about who needs it, how much, why you need it, etc. Anyway - one of the things that he talked about was how studies show that married men are the happiest and single men are the least happy. The order goes: Married men, single women, married women, single men. Obviously - that doesn't mean that it's true for every single person! I'm a married woman and I'm very happy! He also said that women tend to remarry less often after being widowed and that men tend to remarry within 1-3 years.
 
Old 07-16-2014, 01:18 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
He also said that women tend to remarry less often after being widowed and that men tend to remarry within 1-3 years.

I'm sure it has been discussed here, but there is the tendency for women to have better and larger social networks. They don't need a s/o to socialize. I don't either, but I think there are a disproportionate amount of men that if they're not with a s/o they are alone. That's pretty sad. I can see why widowed men in that situation seek out a new partner.
 
Old 07-16-2014, 05:48 PM
 
425 posts, read 429,867 times
Reputation: 411
I disagree with all the people saying "it's just you."

Before I get trampled by everyone, let me state that I believe relationships and marriages with the right person are unfathomably better than being single.

How many people are with that right person though?

I'm not even talking about soulmate level, I'm just talking about "in love."

I've gone through life and seen many people around me in relationships and marriages, and I'd wager about 80% of those people were unhappy -- either openly, or secretly. Almost always my impressions of their relationships were proved correct when I'd hear about it ending eventually, sometimes horribly.

First of all, most relationships fail. Period. If this weren't true, then most people wouldn't have multiple partners before marrying.

Then in terms of marriage, something like 40% end in divorce. And it seems to me from my interactions with people that about half the people who don't get divorced, don't seem too thrilled about their marriage, or at least don't seem to be in love with their partner. That leaves "the happy marriages" as the ones in the minority. As the OP stated in the title, "most" relationships/marriages don't seem that great to him.

Personally, I think a great relationship can be a great thing. Aside from the fact that relationships/marriages don't HAVE to be bad, and can be great -- I think the rest of the OP is pretty accurate when describing a LOT of relationships/marriages -- not ALL of them of course.
 
Old 07-16-2014, 05:53 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115942
Quote:
Originally Posted by chiMT View Post
I disagree with all the people saying "it's just you."

Before I get trampled by everyone, let me state that I believe relationships and marriages with the right person are unfathomably better than being single.

How many people are with that right person though?
This is why I said back in the beginning that it's about making good choices. And once you've met the right person and have a good LTR going, don't take them for granted! Keep that spark alive, let them know you appreciate them.
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