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I'm trying to wrap my head around this if I am just busy in terms of being in "go" mode in my life or do I do things to mentally not allow a partner to enter my life.
I've been called self-absorbed and in love with myself as a result. M-F I do the 9-5 work thing. At the moment I train a lot. I think I am physically addicted to working out. I've been a lot more passionate about MMA and pursuing some of my own personal goals of competing and learning as much as possible.
I will say I spend maybe 3-4 days out of the week doing MMA, and maybe 2-3 days weightlifting. Those days will overlap.
So you can see that my M-F sometimes are locked until maybe 8-9PM.
This one girl I've been on and off with is a bit younger than me and still in the phase of wanting to go out from time to time, maybe happy hour with her coworkers, or spending time with me. That's OK to have her own activities, but the conflict arises is that I obviously place higher importance on myself and my goals. As a result I may finish up later with my training or she may want to see me some time in the middle of the week but earlier.
Obviously there's a disconnect here. I don't mind spending time but I cannot be there all the time. I'm starting to believe that even if I was dating someone else more I would want that separation and my ME time, but am I not allowing myself enough time to give someone the opportunity to be in my life? I'm not sure.
I think I want to spend my time enriching my life and reaching the goals I want in the interim. Even last year I don't think I would have gotten to where I am in my career if I was dating someone because I was grinding.
Not everyone needs to have a romantic partner in order to feel fulfilled in their lie. I am in a similar situation.
I practice a martial art (aikido) as well and am very serious about it. I also own a horse and work with horses along with my regular job which is a new and promising career. I live a very active and busy life and am very focused on my own personal development and training. I train three nights a week and every seminar I can get to. As a senior student I take on a lot o the responsibility in the dojo helping newer people and assisting my teachers and sometimes I teach. I also work full time and try to spend at least one day with my horse as well as a day or sometimes two a week working with other people's horses. I rarely have more than 2-3 hours in a day that is not filled with something. I also just don't have the time or inclination right now to consider a serious relationship outside of friendship.
I was however married in the past. Quite happily actually but he died young. It took some time to get used to living alone but I have found that I like it. I like being able to just take a weekend trip for an aikido seminar or to spend a whole day at the barn with my horse and equestrian friends. I never have to worry about keeping another person happy or neglecting them.
Not saying that can never change but right now all I want in life is good friends, good training and good horses.
Not everyone needs to have a romantic partner in order to feel fulfilled in their lie. I am in a similar situation.
I practice a martial art (aikido) as well and am very serious about it. I also own a horse and work with horses along with my regular job which is a new and promising career. I live a very active and busy life and am very focused on my own personal development and training. I train three nights a week and every seminar I can get to. As a senior student I take on a lot o the responsibility in the dojo helping newer people and assisting my teachers and sometimes I teach. I also work full time and try to spend at least one day with my horse as well as a day or sometimes two a week working with other people's horses. I rarely have more than 2-3 hours in a day that is not filled with something. I also just don't have the time or inclination right now to consider a serious relationship outside of friendship.
I was however married in the past. Quite happily actually but he died young. It took some time to get used to living alone but I have found that I like it. I like being able to just take a weekend trip for an aikido seminar or to spend a whole day at the barn with my horse and equestrian friends. I never have to worry about keeping another person happy or neglecting them.
Not saying that can never change but right now all I want in life is good friends, good training and good horses.
And there is nothing wrong with that.
People like you are my inspiration.
I really like your post. I too one day hope I can live a fulfilling without feeling like I am missing out on having a relationship. I honestly want to lose myself(not personality wise) in my passions and forget about first world problems such as having a relationship. I honestly believe some people just can't fathom that there are people in the world who are happy with their lives as they are.
I want to feel that a relationship is just optional and not an actual need. My friend tries to tell me I underestimate the human bond, and I have friends.
I agree with this fully OP, you shouldn't feel like you are missing out on having a romantic partner. From what I see you are very successful and are doing wonderful for yourself. It also seems like you lead an interesting life. I believe if you got to a point where it wasn't on your mind, it will happen in its own time.
as i have said many times, in order for one to be content in a relationship, one must be content with ones self first. at some point in your life you may decide that the time is right to include others in, but until that time comes, you need to achieve your goals as best as possible.
as i have said many times, in order for one to be content in a relationship, one must be content with ones self first. at some point in your life you may decide that the time is right to include others in, but until that time comes, you need to achieve your goals as best as possible.
I do yearn for companionship but I feel there are a few more things that I have to fulfill in my life.
This isn't a find yourself phase or I just want to sleep around. These are passions of mine. If I found someone I thought was amazing then perhaps I will slow down. I'm not sure yet.
I'm frankly not even sure if I want to stay where I'm living now. But I will say my passions keep me grounded and happy. I felt displaced for so long and now I don't
I do yearn for companionship but I feel there are a few more things that I have to fulfill in my life.
This isn't a find yourself phase or I just want to sleep around. These are passions of mine. If I found someone I thought was amazing then perhaps I will slow down. I'm not sure yet.
I'm frankly not even sure if I want to stay where I'm living now. But I will say my passions keep me grounded and happy. I felt displaced for so long and now I don't
Meh. I don't even really yearn for that. I have a lot of really good friends. And if they're busy, I have two dogs and a cat. And a home library chock full of books I want to read.
Now sex.... I do yearn for that. And with the problem being that casual sex is not really my thing, therein lies the REAL problem.
The other problem is that when I find someone I click with, I fall HARD. And then I need to pick myself up from that. That's a pain in the ass, for sure.
I don't think there's a problem with the way you're living your life, necessarily. I think you should set aside time for developing personal relationships, but that doesn't have to be dating, ya know? You sound young, so you've got plenty of time.
I do yearn for companionship but I feel there are a few more things that I have to fulfill in my life.
This isn't a find yourself phase or I just want to sleep around. These are passions of mine. If I found someone I thought was amazing then perhaps I will slow down. I'm not sure yet.
I'm frankly not even sure if I want to stay where I'm living now. But I will say my passions keep me grounded and happy. I felt displaced for so long and now I don't
no you dont. if you did you would find a way to find someone to bring into your life, while still managing to fulfill your goals.
Meh. I don't even really yearn for that. I have a lot of really good friends. And if they're busy, I have two dogs and a cat. And a home library chock full of books I want to read.
Now sex.... I do yearn for that. And with the problem being that casual sex is not really my thing, therein lies the REAL problem.
The other problem is that when I find someone I click with, I fall HARD. And then I need to pick myself up from that. That's a pain in the ass, for sure.
I don't think there's a problem with the way you're living your life, necessarily. I think you should set aside time for developing personal relationships, but that doesn't have to be dating, ya know? You sound young, so you've got plenty of time.
Have fun. Work on yourself. It's ok.
I'm 30. Somewhat young
If it were the woman of my dreams I'd slow down but maybe I'm just so used to being by myself after my last break up.
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