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The age thing a lot of you mentioned on page 4 is interesting to me. I feel a lot more physically attractive in my late 20s than I did earlier on in my 20s and the joke is, I gained weight (I'm working on it!!!). I think some people just grow into their looks and can look better older than they did younger. I have a friend (same age as me), who looks prettier now than she did 3 years ago. Looking at celebrities, I think several look better as they age too. I think Penelope Cruz, Leah Michelle, Michelle Williams, for example, look better now than I thought they did in the past.
I certainly feel a lot more attractive in my 30s. I finally lost my overly youthful appearance that made me seem like a teen and not an adult. Looking more my age is a benefit. And I guess I feel like my features have come together more. They were too adolescent in my 20s.
There's no question that looks fade over time. You can work out, eat healthy, etc., but that'll only do so much. And while there are certain celebrities who look better in their 40s than they did in their 30s, they're hardly representative of the general population. But the issue here isn't the gradual changes we all undergo that make us more or less attractive to the opposite sex. You may slowly gain weight, develop wrinkles, get gray hair or lose your hair. But those things don't happen overnight. What I was getting at when I started this thread was the SUDDEN change you experienced. And it may not be immediately obvious. It's not like you're walking around with a sign on your head that says 40. But maybe you compare today to 10 years ago and see a huge difference in what dating is like. So you trace back to see if there was some big event that caused the change and you realize it was when you turned a certain age.
Part of why I wanted to pose my original question is because I have yet to experience this myself. But I'm hoping it does happen to me. As a single 30something male who doesn't want kids, I've found that the biggest obstacle I run into is that most of the women my age either wants kids or have kids, but they're still very young. The big 4-0 is closing fast and I wonder if dating will suddenly become a lot easier once I enter a new decade. Women in their 40s are far less likely to want kids. Now I'm sure someone will say "why not just date older women now?" I suppose I could. Only problem is they have to want to date you too. And while older woman/younger man relationships are becoming more common, there are still plenty of women who'd prefer to date a woman their own age. A lot of people look at their 40s with a sense of dread, as if their best years will be behind them. But I'm kind of looking forward to it. I'm just wondering if dating will become dramatically easier or pretty much stay the same.
I love that somehow only women are afflicted by the aging thing. As if the men age like a nice rum or something. Lol.
Come on, you know we womens have to, constantly, be knocked down a few pegs so we never get too far ahead in any realm, that includes feeling comfortable in your own skin no matter your age. Sigh
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
There's no question that looks fade over time. You can work out, eat healthy, etc., but that'll only do so much. And while there are certain celebrities who look better in their 40s than they did in their 30s, they're hardly representative of the general population. But the issue here isn't the gradual changes we all undergo that make us more or less attractive to the opposite sex. You may slowly gain weight, develop wrinkles, get gray hair or lose your hair. But those things don't happen overnight. What I was getting at when I started this thread was the SUDDEN change you experienced. And it may not be immediately obvious. It's not like you're walking around with a sign on your head that says 40. But maybe you compare today to 10 years ago and see a huge difference in what dating is like. So you trace back to see if there was some big event that caused the change and you realize it was when you turned a certain age.
Part of why I wanted to pose my original question is because I have yet to experience this myself. But I'm hoping it does happen to me. As a single 30something male who doesn't want kids, I've found that the biggest obstacle I run into is that most of the women my age either wants kids or have kids, but they're still very young. The big 4-0 is closing fast and I wonder if dating will suddenly become a lot easier once I enter a new decade. Women in their 40s are far less likely to want kids. Now I'm sure someone will say "why not just date older women now?" I suppose I could. Only problem is they have to want to date you too. And while older woman/younger man relationships are becoming more common, there are still plenty of women who'd prefer to date a woman their own age. A lot of people look at their 40s with a sense of dread, as if their best years will be behind them. But I'm kind of looking forward to it. I'm just wondering if dating will become dramatically easier or pretty much stay the same.
Unless you have unrealistic life expectations in general, I don't find there's this big sudden shift. After a very healthy dating life, one day, I was just fed up with dating, it wasn't fun anymore. I felt like I had grown up while many of the men I was encountering were stymied or for that matter regressing. I don't know, it seemed every other guy was coming by to pick me up for the date in some crazy sports cars, some of whom I had to ask, um, you don't really expect me to sit or fit comfortably in that thing at my size. One guy came by to pick me up on a motorcycle. I guess he thought I would chicken out and just invite him in. Ha, it was my first time on the contraption, but I got on.
I don't have anyone beating down my door asking for dates, well not since that stalker, but, then I hadn't really been making myself available to date. I went out last night, the men are older, but not much had changed as far as I could tell.
Come on, you know we womens have to, constantly, be knocked down a few pegs so we never get too far ahead in any realm, that includes feeling comfortable in your own skin no matter your age. Sigh
There is some truth to that.
Picture an 18-21 year old boy. He probably still has pimples across his face and is still playing video games. I doubt this boy is getting any attention from females.
Picture an 18-21 year old female. She is getting attention from college guys, high school guys, 25 year old guys at bars, 30 year old men at bars, 35 year old men from work, etc
Picture him at 29-30. If he was any intelligent, he would be hitting the gym, focusing on his grades in school, graduating and focusing on his career. By the time he is 29-30, he is getting some attention from women now.
Picture her at 29-30. Still getting alot of attention but it definitely dropped a little bit.
Thus, this boy went from getting 0 attention at age 18 to getting some attention at age 29-30
The girl went from getting tons of attention at 18-21 to slightly less at 29-30.
Although in absolute terms, the woman is still getting more attention but the guy will probably notice a massive difference in his dating life.
Picture an 18-21 year old boy. He probably still has pimples across his face and is still playing video games. I doubt this boy is getting any attention from females.
Picture an 18-21 year old female. She is getting attention from college guys, high school guys, 25 year old guys at bars, 30 year old men at bars, 35 year old men from work, etc
Picture him at 29-30. If he was any intelligent, he would be hitting the gym, focusing on his grades in school, graduating and focusing on his career. By the time he is 29-30, he is getting some attention from women now.
Picture her at 29-30. Still getting alot of attention but it definitely dropped a little bit.
Thus, this boy went from getting 0 attention at age 18 to getting some attention at age 29-30
The girl went from getting tons of attention at 18-21 to slightly less at 29-30.
Although in absolute terms, the woman is still getting more attention but the guy will probably notice a massive difference in his dating life.
We could easily give opposite examples. Dude's a HS football star, looking good. (Not too many dudes still have pimples at 18 or 20, anyway.) Picture a college-age dudette, plain, average, not getting hit on by anyone. By 29-30, maybe nothing's changed for her, or maybe she's blossomed. The dude, meanwhile, has gone from hot to hotter, on track in a good career.
So what was your point, again? idk, real life doesn't always do a good job of fitting into stereotypes.
Most of my friends met their spouses in their early to mid 20's.
I am a believe that the older you get the harder it becomes to find compatibility.
May not be true for some....but for many I know it is.
The older we get the more baggage we pile on and the more stuck in our ways we become.
Makes authentic relationships that much harder to find and develop.
Most of my friends met their spouses in their 20s too, which might explain why so many of them are now divorced.
I believe that the older you get, the harder it becomes to find compatibility, but mainly because you have a much better idea of who you're compatible with. Young people are less likely to thing about such things because they're too focused on looks and chemistry. It's only after they've been married a few years that they discover that love doesn't conquer all.
The older we get, the more experience we gain. You can call that baggage if you wish. But I see experience as a plus, not a minus. As for becoming too set in your ways, another way of looking at it is people gain a clearer idea of what they want, what they don't want, when to compromise, and when not to. When someone describes someone else as being too set in their ways, it makes me immediately ask "are you wanting to change them?"
And as far as authentic relationships go, they may be harder to find. But I think your chances of having one after you do find someone actually go up. Because when you're older, you're less likely to play the games young people play. You and the other person know what it is each of you wants and doesn't want.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408
I certainly feel a lot more attractive in my 30s. I finally lost my overly youthful appearance that made me seem like a teen and not an adult. Looking more my age is a benefit. And I guess I feel like my features have come together more. They were too adolescent in my 20s.
I think around mid 30s I finally started feeling moderately attractive. I was in better shape, lost weight, built muscle. Had finished my masters, had a decent to nice job. It all helped with my self confidence and that spilled over into more success in dating.
Last edited by timberline742; 07-21-2014 at 08:28 AM..
Most of my friends met their spouses in their early to mid 20's.
I am a believer that the older you get the harder it becomes to find compatibility.
May not be true for some....but for many I know it is.
The older we get the more baggage we pile on and the more stuck in our ways we become.
Makes authentic relationships that much harder to find and develop.
I absolutely agree and it happens, because of experience. If you can reach your 30s and you have garnered success mostly by yourself, you're not going to be as willing to accept another person's "flaws." It's why marriage rates decrease as people get older. In college there's still potential for success. At 30, it's what are you doing that's considered successful. Being a fry guy at McDonald's to pay your way through college is potential. Being a fry guy at McDonald's at 30 is a disappointment at most. Life only gets harder as we age and there's only so much baggage each person can carry and continue to successfully make it to the flight of life on time. The more baggage you are carrying, the better chance you're going to miss your flight, which means you're depending on other people to get you on another flight. Not the best scenario to be in.
I absolutely agree and it happens, because of experience. If you can reach your 30s and you have garnered success mostly by yourself, you're not going to be as willing to accept another person's "flaws." It's why marriage rates decrease as people get older. In college there's still potential for success. At 30, it's what are you doing that's considered successful. Being a fry guy at McDonald's to pay your way through college is potential. Being a fry guy at McDonald's at 30 is a disappointment at most. Life only gets harder as we age and there's only so much baggage each person can carry and continue to successfully make it to the flight of life on time. The more baggage you are carrying, the better chance you're going to miss your flight, which means you're depending on other people to get you on another flight. Not the best scenario to be in.
Man, what a dismal post.
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One guy came by to pick me up on a motorcycle. I guess he thought I would chicken out and just invite him in. Ha, it was my first time on the contraption, but I got on. 
but, then I hadn't really been making myself available to date. I went out last night, the men are older, but not much had changed as far as I could tell.
