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That's because 99% of guys on there are just interested in pics. It's no different than real life when a guy see's a cute woman at the mall. He has no idea if they have anything in common, but doesn't care. He just walks right up and fires away at whatever will give him a chance at taking her out.
At least with OLD, you can see if you have anything in common to start with. I admit that when I see an attractive face in my feed, and go read the profile and discover we have nothing in common, i get disappointed and go on my merry way rather than try and talk my way into a date with someone who we have nothing in common with at all. Why waste my time? (and hers)
BTW, i have come across a few profiles with a math question, or a "tell me your favorite color in subject line" request. usually at the very bottom of a LOOOOONG profile.
Well, at least the guys in the mall and such just don't walk up and say, "Hi! You're cute. If you like me start talking to me?" Which is about the same as "Hi, you're cute. Message me if you like my profile." lol
I find that very long profiles are also filled with a lot of stuff you really don't need (like the people who decide to put all the lyrics of their favorite song in their profile... why do people do that?) But they are better than the short "non" profiles. I've seen profiles of just one sentence. What am I supposed to talk about with that?
My profile is 195 works long/ four paragraphs (just did a word count) not including the math question. Not too long I don't think. Maybe I should do the favorite color thing? Although the math problem does stick out well.
My profile is 195 works long/ four paragraphs (just did a word count) not including the math question. Not too long I don't think. Maybe I should do the favorite color thing? Although the math problem does stick out well.
Four paragraphs? Yeah, too much to read, Lol.
I'm going to start an online dating profile for sht&giggles on POF and that Cupid thingamajig site with just pictures, and basic info; income yadda yadda, nothing else. I'm going to send 10 messages with just "hi" or "wazup?" and see what responses I get I'll report back.
I think the other alternative to the "hi how are you?" message is, "Hi! I like your profile. Check out mine and let me know if you are interested!" I get spammed with these all the time and a lot of times I can SEE that the men messaging me never looked at my profile. If I get bored and ask what it is about my profile they like, I mostly get no answer. Sometimes I will see that a man goes back to my profile and reads it then.
The nice thing about all the people who spam others with their "hi how r u's" and the like, and maintain blank and/or generic profiles is that they make things really a ton easier for those of us who actually take the time to write thoughtful profiles and messages and responses. I remember people being so blown away to be communicating with somebody who for once wasn't corresponding like a moron.
Oh, I ALWAYS had a lengthy profile; it was really useful and effective for filtering out the non-readers and short attention span types. Nobody ever got a message back if they didn't reference some detail of my profile.
Oh, I ALWAYS had a lengthy profile; it was really useful and effective for filtering out the non-readers and short attention span types. Nobody ever got a message back if they didn't reference some detail of my profile.
Four paragraphs (195 words) isn't even that long... most of my posts here are longer than that! I think Hawaiiancoconut is just joking a bit with us saying it's "too long." 195 words isn’t all that lengthy and only takes a minute or so to read.
I am curious to hear his results with spamming "hi" messages though along with his short profile. Who knows, maybe that works for some. Not me though and I am fine with turning off the non-reading types. They probably wouldn’t be a good match anyway.
Hey, for what it’s worth. If you include my quote of you here, this post is about 195 words and four paragraphs. It’s actually exactly 199 words long. Like I said, what I write on my profile is not really a novel and should be quick for just about anyone to read. It just gives the basics about me and my hobbies… conversation starters (if the other person reads it).
Know what attracts a woman most to a man, knowing she can hurt him. Not because she's sadistic but because the very power, the potential to do so is very intimate and connecting.
Why in the name of all that is Holy would I want a woman like that? If that is truly what is attracting women to men then I'm opting out!
Can you imagine the uproar if you changed that statement around so it read:
"Know what attracts a man most to a woman, knowing he can hurt her. Not because he's sadistic but because the very power, the potential to do so is very intimate and connecting."
That's part of the many problems with online dating - the married men looking for a side thing. (Makes me vomit to think of that). Then there are the psychos. Last of all, the ones who shoot way above their level.
The worst of all (as much as I hate to say this, but I have to) is that so many men think they're way way above their real level of superbness. They seek women they clearly don't belong with because these women are out of their league. I don't know if these men are completely out of touch with reality, or if they figure maybe the woman will go blind, deaf and stupid, and not notice. People need to start seeking others who are more like them.
Couldn't agree more. I would cringe often with the men who contacted me. I wasn't looking for a handsome millionaire but am educated, pretty and in shape yet would usually get much older, unattractive (talking Frankenstein unattractive) and obese who worked low paying jobs like fast food. Did they honestly think I would even be slightly interested?
Well, at least the guys in the mall and such just don't walk up and say, "Hi! You're cute. If you like me start talking to me?" Which is about the same as "Hi, you're cute. Message me if you like my profile." lol
I find that very long profiles are also filled with a lot of stuff you really don't need (like the people who decide to put all the lyrics of their favorite song in their profile... why do people do that?) But they are better than the short "non" profiles. I've seen profiles of just one sentence. What am I supposed to talk about with that?
My profile is 195 works long/ four paragraphs (just did a word count) not including the math question. Not too long I don't think. Maybe I should do the favorite color thing? Although the math problem does stick out well.
Well, in person meeting is easier because, if you are smart, you can use something as an ice-breaker to start the conversation. That's why people say find an activity you like and try and meet someone that way. I do however see plenty of guys just spout out lame pick-up lines to any attractive woman they see. Picture a group of guys at a bar with too much ego and beer in them and you'll know what I mean.
I agree that some profiles have WAY too much, but it's a lot easier to skim a "busy" profile and pick a few talking points as an Ice-breaker vs a 2-sentence profile asking you to message them if you are funny and interesting, with absolutely no material to work with. I usually look for something unique to the person that they enjoy, and if i have that unique thing in common, that's what I focus on and try to make a few jokes about. The short profiles really give nothing to use as an ice-breaker and after spending a few mins trying to pick something unique about the person to use, I just move on.
I almost feel like you should just pick a few unique and interesting things about yourself and talk about those. I can't tell you how many women I see that like to travel, kayak, go to dinner with friends or just about anything else your average, healthy, single woman would do. It's just like me saying I enjoy mountain-biking, going to sports games and hanging with my buddies. You pretty much can assume that's what I am into.
4 paragraphs would be fine if i read that. I think i'd be able to form a few talking points as long as it's not "I enjoy travling, reading and playing with my dog".
If anything, my experiences with OLD just frustrate me to the point where I've started talking to more strangers in the real world...the issue is that pretty much 99% of those I meet, are married or in a relationship. Meeting singles "in the wild" that share similar interests and are like me is a little tough for a 33 year old. Most I meet are married or about to be which brings me back to OLD. Looks like i missed the prime dating years of late 20's.
Four paragraphs is fine if they actually have content. Much better than the vapid ones such as "My kids/God/my job is my life! Why can't find a nice guy? I don't like guys who don't drive Fords. If you wanna know more just ask! LOL" Ugh.
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Couldn't agree more. I would cringe often with the men who contacted me. I wasn't looking for a handsome millionaire but am educated, pretty and in shape yet would usually get much older, unattractive (talking Frankenstein unattractive) and obese who worked low paying jobs like fast food. Did they honestly think I would even be slightly interested?
A lot of people of both sexes use "carpet bombing" techniques - just send as many messages as possible and hope one sticks. I got plenty of messages from women that obivously did not read my profile at all.
Of course, it is better to send one well (or at least decently) thought out and well written message than a hundred "Hi. What's up?" - but these are the same sort of people that have 1000+ "friends" on Facebook and just repost memes, quotes, or the latest selfie their favorite TV reality star put online. No sort of rational or deep thoughts to found at all in their head.
I put up a profile on a dating site (for the very first time). After looking at the guys' profiles, I just wanted to scoop my lungs out with a spoon.
I will be the first to admit that I am in no way perfect, but c'mon guys. At least put forth a LITTLE effort. You want a relationship, but if you aren't even going to make SOME attempt at a profile, then it is obvious that you aren't going to put forth any effort in a relationship.
What I saw:
1. Most guys did not smile.
2. A couple guys looked like they would run a knife into someone, wipe off the blade and put it back in their pocket.
3. Profiles that read, "Send me a message and I'll tell you about myself". REALLY?????
4. In one picture, the background was in a kitchen that was so full of crap stacked up, you'd need a bulldozer to get through it. This guy is looking for a maid.
5. In another picture, the guy had taken the picture in his bathroom. Why would you do that? Unless you are secretly taking your picture where your WIFE won't see.
6. One profile read that the guy was "discreet". Who does he need to be discreet from? What is he doing that needs discretion? Or does he not know what the word means?
There was only one guy (in my age group) that all 4 or 5 of his pictures were really good. Not professional, just good.
If a guy had more than one picture, it was picture with his dog that caught my attention.
I got a message from a guy who simply said, "Hi". That is okay, but when I ask about your day, I would think (in the interest of conversation), the answer would be more than, "It was fine." I am sorry, but I have a very hard time making conversation with three-word responses. Talk about going nowhere fast.
If I am going to spend my time putting up a couple pictures and putting up several paragraphs of information, I expect the same courtesy and effort.
It was all so VERY depressing.
Well, that is men in their natural habitat. I don't think creativity describing themselves is men's greates strength, but that is just opinion
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I'll report back.
I don't think creativity describing themselves is men's greates strength, but that is just opinion 
