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I put up a profile on a dating site (for the very first time). After looking at the guys' profiles, I just wanted to scoop my lungs out with a spoon.
I will be the first to admit that I am in no way perfect, but c'mon guys. At least put forth a LITTLE effort. You want a relationship, but if you aren't even going to make SOME attempt at a profile, then it is obvious that you aren't going to put forth any effort in a relationship.
What I saw:
1. Most guys did not smile.
2. A couple guys looked like they would run a knife into someone, wipe off the blade and put it back in their pocket.
3. Profiles that read, "Send me a message and I'll tell you about myself". REALLY?????
4. In one picture, the background was in a kitchen that was so full of crap stacked up, you'd need a bulldozer to get through it. This guy is looking for a maid.
5. In another picture, the guy had taken the picture in his bathroom. Why would you do that? Unless you are secretly taking your picture where your WIFE won't see.
6. One profile read that the guy was "discreet". Who does he need to be discreet from? What is he doing that needs discretion? Or does he not know what the word means?
There was only one guy (in my age group) that all 4 or 5 of his pictures were really good. Not professional, just good.
If a guy had more than one picture, it was picture with his dog that caught my attention.
I got a message from a guy who simply said, "Hi". That is okay, but when I ask about your day, I would think (in the interest of conversation), the answer would be more than, "It was fine." I am sorry, but I have a very hard time making conversation with three-word responses. Talk about going nowhere fast. If I am going to spend my time putting up a couple pictures and putting up several paragraphs of information, I expect the same courtesy and effort.
It was all so VERY depressing.
Well I think for a lot of guys that is not really necessary, once the see what you look like they already know what they want to know about you. we on the other hand have to work harder.
I've seen a lot of women aged 30-35 (what I search for) that still act 20-25 with the loud proclamation "NOT HERE FOR HOOKUP" or "NO GAMES, NO DRAMA" or something like that, but 4 out of 5 of their profile pics are shots of their cleavage, butt, or stomach shot in a bathroom mirror.
Really hard to take them seriously when their biggest asset is their...well ass.
POF is full of "bathroom selfies" and "car selfies". At least for entertainment, I try and guess the car the person is and send them a message asking if i was right. I've kinda given up on POF. I'm getting better results on OKCupid, but still haven't found anyone worth meeting yet.
What's with the car selfies anyway? I see so many of them. Okay, bathroom they are using the mirror to frame themselves in the phone... so at least there is a logic behind it. But what's with the car thing? I've seen profiles where every single picture (3-4 pictures) is a car selfie and they all look the same except the guy is wearing a different shirt.
According to some of the women on this forum who've done OLD, men do the same thing. Or did you seriously believe that was a gender-specific behavior? C'mon, you're smarter than that, right?
Did I say it was gender specific? How would I know what men do because I'm straight and don't look at mens profiles.......... funny you are talking about being smart...
What's with the car selfies anyway? I see so many of them. Okay, bathroom they are using the mirror to frame themselves in the phone... so at least there is a logic behind it. But what's with the car thing? I've seen profiles where every single picture (3-4 pictures) is a car selfie and they all look the same except the guy is wearing a different shirt.
Distracted driving no doubt too.
Car is the only place, the wife and coworkers won't see them taking a picture of themselves.
I guarantee if you continue on with any car guy OLDs, all the first phone conversations will be from a moving car.
Some eharmony guy calling me from a car, "Had to go because his mother just came into the room." This was a man in his 40s. i could hear all the traffic noise in the background. It was obvious he was on the highway, not at home.
You know, since I started an OKCupid profile a day ago, I've received 170 messages!
There is the major imbalance that exists on OLD. A woman get's 170 messages a day whereas a man would never get a response like that.
I'm sure many men get no response at all.
Sure, the majority of responses the woman gets may be, relatively speaking, low quality but it's still something to work with.
I realize it is natural for men to be the "chasers" and women to be the "choosers" but OLD takes this concept and puts it on steroids.
The lack of response and validation makes the already lonely and/or desperate men feel even more lonely and/or desperate and so they email bomb any "fresh meat" with short messages because, since the response rate is so low, why bother taking time to write much?
The women get tons of initial validation for just showing up and some get a big head and use the site for attention, some get super picky(because if you are getting 100 responses a day "Mr. Perfect" must be in there somewhere, right?), while others get burned out quickly, and understandably so.
So when you look at what an imbalanced numbers game OLD has become on both sides is it any wonder we see such laziness with the profiles?
Jillabean gets 170 messages which sounds like a lot but remember most aren't worthwhile. I know exactly what she means because I too would get hundreds of messages and easily 90% were a waste of time. Women don't want messages that waste our time.
I don't get bathroom or car selfies. I wouldn't take someone seriously who did that.
What he, and everyone else, needs to wrap their minds about is to stop giving a crud or any mental energy to what an entire gender wants. Focus on what you want and what the person you'd like to be with wants. I couldn't give two craps about what women in general want, I care about what the few women I'd be interested in dating want and how I do or do not fit that.
I understand what you are saying, but I think his question was actually trying to ask how to figure it out because all profiles do sound alike. I think he was finding hard to figure out individually when they do all seem alike.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by metamorphosis
I understand what you are saying, but I think his question was actually trying to ask how to figure it out because all profiles do sound alike. I think he was finding hard to figure out individually when they do all seem alike.
All profiles don't sound a like. The majority do. F the majority. When I do OLD I ignore them. Maybe he should give that a shot. Dating a cut out / carbon copy normal vanilla "looking for a partner in crime" is not my idea of a good time. If it isn't his, he should not do it.
All profiles don't sound a like. The majority do. F the majority. When I do OLD I ignore them. Maybe he should give that a shot. Dating a cut out / carbon copy normal vanilla "looking for a partner in crime" is not my idea of a good time. If it isn't his, he should not do it.
Seriously. For the 90% of lame ads/profiles, there is that 10% that is really interesting. And they stick out like sore thumbs in a sea of ridiculous/stupid/pitifully lazy ones, so they're easy to find.
But you'd better have one that falls in that 10% yourself, too, if you're going to bother to write to somebody with an outstanding profile. Punch in your own weight class. Because nobody who has a kickass profile is going to write back to one of the "HEY UR HOT HOW R U WRITE ME BACK IF U LIKE WHAT U SEE" types. Sorry.
I put up a profile on a dating site (for the very first time). After looking at the guys' profiles, I just wanted to scoop my lungs out with a spoon.
I will be the first to admit that I am in no way perfect, but c'mon guys. At least put forth a LITTLE effort. You want a relationship, but if you aren't even going to make SOME attempt at a profile, then it is obvious that you aren't going to put forth any effort in a relationship.
What I saw:
1. Most guys did not smile.
2. A couple guys looked like they would run a knife into someone, wipe off the blade and put it back in their pocket.
3. Profiles that read, "Send me a message and I'll tell you about myself". REALLY?????
4. In one picture, the background was in a kitchen that was so full of crap stacked up, you'd need a bulldozer to get through it. This guy is looking for a maid.
5. In another picture, the guy had taken the picture in his bathroom. Why would you do that? Unless you are secretly taking your picture where your WIFE won't see.
6. One profile read that the guy was "discreet". Who does he need to be discreet from? What is he doing that needs discretion? Or does he not know what the word means?
1. Duck lips.
2. Lot of women look like that, too.
3. I see this WAY WAY WAY more on women's profiles, the dating sites make me fill out my entire curriculum vitae but they're allowed to get away with "..." or "just ask" ???
4. No idea what to say to that one
5. LOTS of women take pics in bathrooms, including bathrooms that are obviously not at their homes.
6. Seen this one on women's profiles too.
Conclusion:
People are retarded and either don't know how to take pics or really aren't serious.
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funny you are talking about being smart...
