Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My friend and I have a little theory, just based on a pattern we have noticed, as adults. She is a couple years older than I am, and we are both professional african-american women. Anyway, the older we get, the more white men (in our relative age ranges) approach us. It is really funny. She has a theory that these men had crushes on cute little black girls when they were younger, and it wasn't "OK" or "socially acceptable" at the time.* But now that they are older, it is A-OK, and they are making up for lost time! :P
*I am in my mid-30s, and it definitely was not socially acceptable for people to date outside their ethnic groups through my teen years at my high school, unless they were already considered "weirdos" for some reason or another (i.e. only had black friends). There are regionally differences, but we both spent formative years in regions where interracial dating wasn't common, and we were considered weirdos.
I've always been attracted to the same things. I've never had any one physical type, so a particular look has never been an issue, and that's remained consistent. The personality attributes that are essentials now always were.
Are you still attracted to the same basic traits in a partner (features, personality, character) compared to when you were an 18 year old? Or have your tastes changed?
For myself, I have stayed consistent during my adult life in whom attracts me and interests me as a partner.
Resistance is futile: I will always think Rob Lowe is hot.
As for the rest, it evolved and changed as I evolved and changed over the last 29 years.
I fell back in love with a girl I knew and had a huge crush on back in high school. We were very much alike then, and we are even more alike now.
I settled for the woman everyone thought I should be with for a long time. My childrens mother is not a bad person, she is just extremely lazy and has never worked any job since she was in high school. We don't enjoy most things together, but we did have some amazing kids. She is a good mother, bad wife. Never married. There were reasons for that.
I'd marry Amy tomorrow. She has haunted my dreams for years and years. We fell out of touch with one another after I graduated (two years older then her) and I moved to Nashville then I joined the military. Situations brought us back together, and we knew from the moment we saw one another we were still desperately in love.
So, wait, are you with her now? Might be nice to hear of a happy ending around these parts.
And thanks for putting this into my head. I actually love this song.
My friend and I have a little theory, just based on a pattern we have noticed, as adults. She is a couple years older than I am, and we are both professional african-american women. Anyway, the older we get, the more white men (in our relative age ranges) approach us. It is really funny. She has a theory that these men had crushes on cute little black girls when they were younger, and it wasn't "OK" or "socially acceptable" at the time.* But now that they are older, it is A-OK, and they are making up for lost time! :P
*I am in my mid-30s, and it definitely was not socially acceptable for people to date outside their ethnic groups through my teen years at my high school, unless they were already considered "weirdos" for some reason or another (i.e. only had black friends). There are regionally differences, but we both spent formative years in regions where interracial dating wasn't common, and we were considered weirdos.
You were a high schooler in the mid-90s. This was years after Michael Jackson's "Black or White" and Spike Lee's "Jungle Fever." And the white kids acting 'black.' So to read about your high school experience was an eye opener for me. Thank you for sharing!
Looking back, I seemed to go for the players back in the day: the good-looking guy who always knew the right thing to say but didn't have much to say of worth or interest. I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. It was my own fault; I was pretty shallow and just wanted to be seen on the arm of a hottie.
Now, if the man doesn't have intellect, he's not worth my time. He can talk a good game all he wants, but if he can't keep up with me intellectually and have deep conversations, I'm out.
Conversely, even if he's not necessarily that great looking but wows me with his conversational skills, I'm totally in. Luckily right now the man I'm seeing has the whole package.
You were a high schooler in the mid-90s. This was years after Michael Jackson's "Black or White" and Spike Lee's "Jungle Fever." And the white kids acting 'black.' So to read about your high school experience was an eye opener for me. Thank you for sharing!
No problem. In my region is wasn't really ok for white kids to listen to hip hop widely. Liking the popular Warren G or Snoop Dogg songs was fine, but only listening to hip hop? Um that was for "hoodlums." It is amazing how quickly that changed. And how regional it was. When I came back to California, this wasn't an issue any more. But for the people younger than me in that region it took a few more years for this stuff to be kind of ok for middle or upper class white kids. Although I doubt for many of my peers, particularly the upper class ones, it would be ok to bring home a black significant other. I'd actually be shocked. There are still some class differences.
A handful of my classmates are in interracial relationships now but it was a scandal that an Asian girl was pregnant in high school, and the dad was black. And not just the teen pregnancy part. There was a whole side story about her dating preferences.
This is one of the reasons I feel a bit of a generational gap with people under 30, they just don't know how different it was for me and I am not much older!
No problem. In my region is wasn't really ok for white kids to listen to hip hop widely. Liking the popular Warren G or Snoop Dogg songs was fine, but only listening to hip hop? Um that was for "hoodlums." It is amazing how quickly that changed. And how regional it was. When I came back to California, this wasn't an issue any more. But for the people younger than me in that region it took a few more years for this stuff to be kind of ok for middle or upper class white kids. Although I doubt for many of my peers, particularly the upper class ones, it would be ok to bring home a black significant other. I'd actually be shocked. There are still some class differences.
A handful of my classmates are in interracial relationships now but it was a scandal that an Asian girl was pregnant in high school, and the dad was black. And not just the teen pregnancy part. There was a whole side story about her dating preferences.
This is one of the reasons I feel a bit of a generational gap with people under 30, they just don't know how different it was for me and I am not much older!
Same here. In my high school there was a weird vibe though; quite a few guys trying to be Eminem-ish but who looked down on interracial dating. My best friend coming up, who was a young African American woman and absolutely breathtaking, was every guy's secret crush yet none of them would/could ask her out.
Thankfully now that stigma is gone and my peers just date whomever they want, but it's strange how these perceptions persisted well into the 1990s and early 2000s.
Same here. In my high school there was a weird vibe though; quite a few guys trying to be Eminem-ish but who looked down on interracial dating. My best friend coming up, who was a young African American woman and absolutely breathtaking, was every guy's secret crush yet none of them would/could ask her out.
Thankfully now that stigma is gone and my peers just date whomever they want, but it's strange how these perceptions persisted well into the 1990s and early 2000s.
And still now for some groups! Don't get me started on the racist Asian people who only listen to hip hop. Totally makes no sense! It's like dude, your favorite artists are Jay-Z and Beyonce, you can be nice to black people. LOL. There are still some really weird social disconnects out there.
It also wasn't OK to be gay, I've got classmates that are just now coming out of the closet. Then they ask if it would be OK to be gay in California.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
