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Old 07-22-2014, 07:05 PM
 
Location: Avignon, France
11,143 posts, read 7,907,176 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
FWB isn't quite the same. What I got from this is the relationship goal is very traditional in terms of intimacy, activities, but at a reduced time commitment.

FWB sticks pretty closely to the physical and not emotional needs.
Ok I get it ... Thanks.
I'll stick with the FWB's for now LOL I am not looking for the emotional ties at present.
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Old 07-22-2014, 08:30 PM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,976,371 times
Reputation: 6848
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert5 View Post
Of course, I am ill willed, and lack imagination! Right?
You are not understanding the math here. A part time monogamous relationship is not of interest to many men because they will not have their physical needs met. The honest men are the ones like me that acknowledge up front that they are interested in a part time *non monogamous* relationship. Supply and demand factors will drive some men that respond to Jillabean's ad for a part time relationship to lie about their intentions. Out of let us say 20 responses from men, 14 men will provide honest replies that they are interested in such a part time relationship on a non monogamous basis, 2 will provide honest replies that they are interested in a part time relationship on a monogamous basis, and 4 will provide dishonest replies that they are interested in a part time relationship on a monogamous basis. Jilabeen will throw out the 14 replies from honest men that seek a non monogamous relationship, which will leave her to make her decision from the 6 men that said they would be interested in a part time monogamous relationship. The problem being that even though only 4 of the 20 men (20%) that responded lied, all 4 of those men are now part of the 6 man pool that she has to select from. So the odds of her selecting one of the men that lied is now 66%.
As jillabean patiently explained, at our age it tends to be men who want sex less often and women who want it more.

Also, you may find it useful to google the term 'mansplaining'.
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Old 07-22-2014, 09:32 PM
 
8,518 posts, read 15,616,747 times
Reputation: 7711
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
As jillabean patiently explained, at our age it tends to be men who want sex less often and women who want it more.
I think I need to move to wherever the two of you live.
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Old 07-22-2014, 09:44 PM
 
5,121 posts, read 6,788,364 times
Reputation: 5833
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane View Post
I think I need to move to wherever the two of you live.
Last guy I dated joked with me that I "attacked him" and I know he was exhausted after a visit from me, lol. But he never complained
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Old 07-22-2014, 09:51 PM
 
Location: Redwood Shores, Ca
377 posts, read 531,873 times
Reputation: 584
Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
I don't know. I take after my mom. We've got too much other stuff going on to call/text all day. It just isn't my nature at all. I talk to my parents roughly once a week or every 10 days and they complain it isn't enough. There are occasional texts or emails mixed in.

Not long ago I dated a guy who I thought was like me. But I was wrong. He just called too often. Daily is about the max for me, and I would get several calls from him a day. He was a chatterbox too. I was thought, OMG I don't have this kind of time.
LOL, I used to turn my phone off and back on when I was done. It didn't matter how many times I tell them, as soon as it's booted, I get a few minutes of notifications, from all the texts they send. I am really active too, in the summer I get into the longer days. I will sometimes get home, and immediately start my projects. Nothing worse then to have some grime on the hands, and have to reply to texts....I could make a funny short film on what some people don't realize another person might go through in order to answer them.
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Old 07-22-2014, 09:51 PM
 
4,828 posts, read 4,271,640 times
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I like to fall asleep after 3 hour sex marathons!
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Old 07-22-2014, 09:52 PM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
7,400 posts, read 6,351,299 times
Reputation: 9636
I don't think what Jilla wants is in such limited demand, at least not from what I've seen. I definitely came across men, often divorced fathers, who desired this sort of arrangement. Heck, it was the sort of relationship I had with the first gentleman I dated from OKC.

He and I both have children, and he had obligations and was busy at times. We both had things going on that absolutely did not allow for frequent dates during the week. We communicated regularly via text throughout the day, and we talked nightly or played video games together/watched movies (synchronized movie watching). Then on either Friday or Saturday we had out date night, and this worked great for us. He also lived an hour away, so frequent dates would have especially been impractical.

On some occasions we did overnights/weekend stays or he was able to visit twice a week, but once a week was typical for us. We were also exclusive.

This sort of deal wasn't at all uncommon amongst the late 30's to mid 40's crowd. Pretty typical of divorced fathers and those busy with work or other obligations.

The gentleman I later dated, 40 year old soon-to-be divorced father of two, was better suited for this arrangement. We were together, and it was serious, but we both knew he wasn't ready for the blending of families part of a relationship -- a very challenging and different dynamic. What he realized he wanted at that point in his life, with the things he had going on, was exactly what Jilla is looking for. And it makes perfect sense.
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Old 07-22-2014, 09:57 PM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,976,371 times
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Yeah, as I said when she first brought the issue up, my experience is that a LOT of guys over 40 want exactly that.

And I found it frustrating because once a week, even if it's a weekend marathon, is not nearly enough sex for me.

For a few years I had a pretty good balance going with three part-time relationships, all of whom knew about each other . But eventually that fell apart.
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Old 07-22-2014, 09:58 PM
 
Location: Redwood Shores, Ca
377 posts, read 531,873 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean View Post
As for "physical needs" -- you make time for it or pack it in to fun filled weekends and such or meet up on a lunch break now and then. Last guy I dated (long distance) we would have sex 3-4 times a night all weekend long. You make up time and spice it up with anticipation.
And if a man isn't interested in a part time relationship, fine... go date a clingy woman. There are men out there like me. That's who I am interested in.
Quality over quantity for sure with these types of relationships....and the times apart are spent building the anticipation until the next time you touch....when you get fed once or twice a week, you tend to be very hungry when it's feeding time
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Old 07-22-2014, 10:12 PM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,976,371 times
Reputation: 6848
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1w0n View Post
Quality over quantity for sure with these types of relationships....and the times apart are spent building the anticipation until the next time you touch....when you get fed once or twice a week, you tend to be very hungry when it's feeding time
It doesn't work that way for me. It just stresses me out, in a way that does not translate well into relationship stuff.
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