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Old 07-23-2014, 07:08 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,489,477 times
Reputation: 40198

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Quote:
Originally Posted by lmw36 View Post
Yes, and it was the most awkward breakup.

He was the sweetest guy ever, completely adorable, and we got along SO well. However, we just didn't have that "spark". I felt bad because he had it for me, but I just didn't see it going anywhere.

It was a legitimate "It's not you, it's me!" breakup.

He's still someone I consider a friend. I met up with him for dinner about a year back and there were clearly no hard feelings.
This is SUCH a common occurrence!

I just wish more people were able to accept that sometimes it's really not "you" or anything you've done or can fix!

When there is no chemistry there's no chemistry, but it's nobody's fault
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Old 07-24-2014, 02:44 AM
 
4,078 posts, read 5,400,248 times
Reputation: 4958
Quote:
Originally Posted by theroadlesstravelled View Post
Has anyone on this site ever ended a fairly healthy, loving, good relationship because while you loved the other person, you had real doubts that they were a viable, long term partner? In other words, the overall relationship is solid and you both love one another, but one has doubts that the other is the one you want to spend your life with?
Because it was a loving, healthy relationship, did you wait to see how it would go and perhaps let it run its course until maybe it had a 'natural ending' or did you end it upfront, so as not to hurt the other person (who definitely is marriage minded) even more?
I'm not saying one should end a relationship because the other's not your soul mate (not really sure I believe in that) but that while you do love and care for the other person and enjoy their company, you don't think they're the one you want to marry and spend your life with. Hope that makes sense.
Yes. It wasn't a perfect relationship, but at that time, we were great together. I'd still vouch to say if I saw him again today, we'd still be very compatible and that I still care about him to some degree but not want to marry him.

Marriage is a lifetime commitment. I think when people say: "when you know you just know." It's kinda true.

You can love someone but not want to marry them for various reasons.

And, sometimes when people are too similar, their weaknesses amplify. And when people are too different they just aren't on the same page, at all.

Sometimes, the person people choose to marry are a blend of being very similar and at the same time dissimilar to counterbalance on the weakness (yin-yang).
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Old 07-24-2014, 06:24 AM
 
15,754 posts, read 20,346,743 times
Reputation: 20895
Yes.

She was older (but didn't look it). We had fun together, always had a connection and overall we in love.

But due to the age difference (12 years) we were in different places, and it wouldn't work for the long-haul. It was sad break-up for me, but we are still friends.

Because of that relationship I tend to think more long term with new dating prospects right away. I figure it's easier to cut ties sooner, than wait 5 years to figure it out
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Old 09-29-2014, 12:29 PM
 
479 posts, read 1,430,127 times
Reputation: 515
I suspect I'm in such a relationship now, with the same concerns

Also, bump
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Old 09-29-2014, 11:41 PM
 
4,078 posts, read 5,400,248 times
Reputation: 4958
Quote:
Originally Posted by theroadlesstravelled View Post
Has anyone on this site ever ended a fairly healthy, loving, good relationship because while you loved the other person, you had real doubts that they were a viable, long term partner? In other words, the overall relationship is solid and you both love one another, but one has doubts that the other is the one you want to spend your life with?
Because it was a loving, healthy relationship, did you wait to see how it would go and perhaps let it run its course until maybe it had a 'natural ending' or did you end it upfront, so as not to hurt the other person (who definitely is marriage minded) even more?
I'm not saying one should end a relationship because the other's not your soul mate (not really sure I believe in that) but that while you do love and care for the other person and enjoy their company, you don't think they're the one you want to marry and spend your life with. Hope that makes sense.
While I personally don't think any relationship is perfect, I think your heart knows when someone is that person you see yourself with for the rest of your life..

I never understood the concept of marrying a first-love. For some people, I do. And for others, life is about growing in the path of discovering your own self-identity.

Sometimes, first loves are attachments with what we know from our past, and although first loves can feel intrinsically amazing, there are parts to people where they feel the may need to experience and explore, to find their own niche before they spend the rest of their lives with someone else.. someone who is also at the verge of finding who they are.

Sometimes, when you love someone, you let go.. not because you don't love them, but because you're not one the same wavelength, and not quite an ideal match!
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Old 09-30-2014, 12:15 AM
 
1,324 posts, read 2,009,084 times
Reputation: 1075
sure, i'm sure many divorced couple have regrets in some form or another. sometimes though we often tend to forget and bury the bad parts and only remember the good.

but i've also now look at relationships differently, specifically i've concluded that all relationships are transitional and ppl only come into to your life for a limited time, and for a reason. we all came into this life alone and we will die alone. together forever is a farce and an unhealthy ideal. even in couples have have been married for over 50 years one dies before the other, leaving the other with heartache, grief and sorrow for several years until it takes them too.

my sister married her high school sweetheart and they were married 25 years until he passed away at a young age, and i can't believe it's taken her 15 years just to start thinking about packing his closet and donating his suits to charity. good luck dealing with it.
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