Why there are many single travel lovers (wives, girlfriends, how to)

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by srjth

This is a big one for me. (trying to get over that)

Please do! Travelling alone is great. Going with someone can be good too, but it is very different, and you meet fewer people I've found if you're going as part of a couple or a group.

Originally Posted by MarshallV84

Maybe a ski trip once or twice a year to the alps or Alaska, but I could care less about doing the tourist crap.

Oh, I never said anything about doing the "tourist crap". I, of course, saw Angkor Wat in Cambodia, but just a for a day and a half out of two weeks. There is lots to do when traveling other than the typical tourist stuff.

[stan4]

I don't like traveling alone.
Hell, I don't even like watching a movie alone.
It is just so much more fun to do it with someone I love (that could be a friend, family member, or romantic partner).

[Back to NE]

Originally Posted by goodheathen

I've seen people comment here that online dating is full of people who like to travel (which is my observation also). I agree that some profiles probably say that to impress with their exciting lives, income, or such, and maybe some exaggerate. However, after some pondering, I think the main reason is the nature of people who like to travel. They probably are more outgoing and novelty-seeking and more prone to relocating or taking travel-heavy jobs than other people (on average). The personality traits might destabilize relationships; the latter definitely causes problems in finding or maintaining relationships. I'm not a traveler myself, and I will leave it up to others to confirm or refute the above.

Researchers have found that cigarette smokers are less likely to stay married than non-smokers. I think you can probably make that same analogy to people who love to travel.

Travelling abroad sometimes feels like the exact opposite to settling down back home with someone.

[timberline742]

I'd also like to point out that settling down isn't the the same as being in a committed relationships or partnerships. Lots of people on LTRs for years and decades try to avoid "settling down".

[jillabean]

Talk about first world problems... not liking dates who won't travel, lol.

Funny thing I noticed when I did online dating. The ones who squawked the most about travel, hardly did it. You'd go out and meet them on a date and find out that their exotic travels too place 10-15 years ago and lately they've done nothing. It kind of seemed to go hand in hand with the men who claimed to be scuba divers (only to find out they did one dive, 9 years ago, while on a cruise, and it wasn't a "real" dive anyway, it was just an intro to diving sample).

I tend to travel a lot, but most of it is within the US and Canada. I travel for work meetings and I also travel for scuba diving. I'd travel more overseas but it's more expensive and I only get 10 days vacation for the first 3 years where I work (I am almost at year #3 though and soon I will have 15 days vacation a year). So I tend to have to plan my pleasure trips around weekends or holidays to make the most of them. Like when I went to Hawaii this summer... planned it around a federally holiday so I only had to take 4 days off work instead of 5.

Funny thing though, I never put travel in my profile. I'd love to travel more (and I even have a passport--which BTW is easy to get. Only took me a couple of months). But I haven't used my passport in over 8 years now. When it expires, I probably won't get a new one until I make overseas travel plans. Seems kind of silly to pay the money to have one and let it expire. Might as well wait. I am itching to go to Chuuk though. That's an $8000 trip, so it will be a few years. I could look into Scapa Flow though, in the Orkney Islands.

Originally Posted by 4DM1N

I was just mentioning that there is also a too busy type of person. Maybe in their mind they want to date, but their lifestyle is too busy and too hectic to actually get a relationship off the ground and to maintain it. Some of the girls I've talked to online sound like they have a laundry list of plans already in progress and it's kind of a turn off to me. "Oh great, you have all these plans already on schedule? Where does that leave me in the grand scheme of things?" So I just don't even bother.

The worst ones IME, and the ones I tend to avoid the most, are the ones who are "going back to school in the fall". That has never resulted in anything good as far as relationships go (again IME). That's code for "I will be non-existent for the next half a year".

I skipped a lot of my diving trips to make time for dating this summer and I am POed at myself for doing so. That's the thing, do you make plans to do things and enjoy life now or hope, by some random chance you meet someone else and date? It's the whole a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush argument.

The overall theme of what you are saying is a big part of reason I got frustrated with online dating. New man, nearly a complete stranger comes into my life and expects me to drop everything for him: family, friends, my life and plans. I am not saying that's wrong of them, or you... just not a good fit for me. I know there are women out there who drop everything when a new man comes into their life; but I am just too independent and I am best suited for a man who likes that in a woman. Think it's part of my problem too with men (I gravitate towards the ones who give me my personal space, but they also tend to do that because they aren't really all that into me).

Anyway, back on subject. I regret missing out on the travel I could have done and the scuba diving I missed. Next year, I am making travel plans and keeping them.

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by jillabean

Talk about first world problems... not liking dates who won't travel, lol.

We do live in a first world country!

And traveling overseas, I've found to be almost always cheaper than traveling within the U.S. The flights are more, marginally, but often everything else is much much cheaper.

But yes, vacation time is an issue, I took a cut with this new job and I'm saving all of mine for this one trip in the fall. The rest of the year I only add a day to either side of a three day weekend.

And honestly, I'd be fine if they didn't want to travel, I just can't imagine connecting with such a person, and they'd have to be ok. Really ok. Not Ok, I understand you're going, whine, moan.... but really ok, because I'm going. At a minimum a new country every other year, but I try to every year.

[jillabean]

Originally Posted by timberline742

We do live in a first world country!

And traveling overseas, I've found to be almost always cheaper than traveling within the U.S. The flights are more, marginally, but often everything else is much much cheaper.

But yes, vacation time is an issue, I took a cut with this new job and I'm saving all of mine for this one trip in the fall. The rest of the year I only add a day to either side of a three day weekend.

And honestly, I'd be fine if they didn't want to travel, I just can't imagine connecting with such a person, and they'd have to be ok. Really ok. Not Ok, I understand you're going, whine, moan.... but really ok, because I'm going. At a minimum a new country every other year, but I try to every year.

I know I got the new Weird Al CD this past week and one of his songs is "first world problems" and I laughed thinking this thread would fit right in.

Anyway, I think I have a skewed view of what it costs to travel... mainly because I tend to scuba dive where I travel (and that adds a lot. When I went to Hawaii this past summer, I did four dives. I ended up spending $700 at the diving company between gear rentals, tank rental, boat charters, and tips for crew and dive masters... and I bought a tee-shirt, lol).

Most of my travel has been to the US and Canada... I've also done a lot of South Pacific travel, but most of that is Guam and the Marianas islands (US territory) or Tahiti. Those islands tend to be very expensive to travel to. Europe might be cheaper... someday I will go. Like I said, I have my heart set on the Orkney's.

[katykat01]

Originally Posted by goodheathen

I've seen people comment here that online dating is full of people who like to travel (which is my observation also). I agree that some profiles probably say that to impress with their exciting lives, income, or such, and maybe some exaggerate. However, after some pondering, I think the main reason is the nature of people who like to travel. They probably are more outgoing and novelty-seeking and more prone to relocating or taking travel-heavy jobs than other people (on average). The personality traits might destabilize relationships; the latter definitely causes problems in finding or maintaining relationships. I'm not a traveler myself, and I will leave it up to others to confirm or refute the above.

I love going new places, seeing new things, experiencing new things, meeting new people, and just having an awesome experience. Over the years I've had many amazing experiences, but the part I hate is that I have no one to share it with. Traveling is important to me, so I want to find someone else who also likes to travel. That's not to saw we're going to go on nonstop adventures (I wish we could!), but I don't have the time or money for that. It's important enough for me to make it a priority to save for though.

The man I was going to marry initially told me he liked to travel because he had done a lot in his youth, but whenever I brought it up about us going somewhere he had no interest! That drove me nuts! That's one of the reasons we split - I was too young to give up going to all the places I wanted to see. (There were other significant problems that we couldn't overcome too.) Loving to travel has no bearing on my ability to maintain a relationship. If I go away once or twice a year, that doesn't mean I'm neglecting my relationship. Ideally, that person would join and have a bonding experience as we create memories. At least that's what I'd hope for.

[srjth]

Originally Posted by timberline742

Please do!

Haha thanks for the encouragement. I'm trying. It helps when I talk to people who've done leisure inernational travel alone.

alone is great. Going with someone can be good too, but it is very different, and you meet fewer people I've found if you're going as part of a couple or a group.
.

This is one positive thing I've thought of as well, when I get in my head and start rationalizing it.

[Dewdroplet76]

Originally Posted by goodheathen

I've seen people comment here that online dating is full of people who like to travel (which is my observation also). I agree that some profiles probably say that to impress with their exciting lives, income, or such, and maybe some exaggerate. However, after some pondering, I think the main reason is the nature of people who like to travel. They probably are more outgoing and novelty-seeking and more prone to relocating or taking travel-heavy jobs than other people (on average). The personality traits might destabilize relationships; the latter definitely causes problems in finding or maintaining relationships. I'm not a traveler myself, and I will leave it up to others to confirm or refute the above.

I don't really think that you can conclude that people who like to travel are often single because of their travel loving nature because a lot of people doing OLD list travel as one of their interests. You would have to compare the number of single people versus married people who love travel in order to make that assessment. For example, I'm married and love to travel - so obviously it hasn't hindered my ability to have a stable relationship.