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I know I should just move on and let it go but I just keep thinking wtf happened and went wrong! I've had guys not be interested in me but this is the strangest encounter that I've had.
I met this guy at a speed dating event which started out as a cocktail party for around 45 minutes. He sought me out 2x during the night before the speed dating thing even started!!! When it was his turn to be my "date" that night, there was more chemistry. This was on Tuesday of last week.
On Friday they emailed us our "matches" with their names, email addresses, and phone numbers. He was my match which I was hoping for since I thought we hit it off.
On Saturday I contacted him and asked him out. He agreed. We only exchanged a handful of texts but it took him hours in between texts to respond (and no he wasn't at work). He seemed very elusive exchanging texts with me. Almost like he was indifferent. I did tell him that chose him because I thought he was interesting and cute. He texted me back that he felt the same....
We met Monday for our date. When I walked through the bar he didn't really appear excited to see me. He didn't offer to pay for my drink which I figured would probably happen because I asked him out. Conversation was really good and there was never a period of silence or anything however, (despite conversation being good...) he didn't make a lot of eye contact with me and seemed very negative. He was not like that on Tuesday. It was almost like he became a totally different person. He went from really friendly, flirty, high energy to low energy, elusive, and not interested at all. He ended the night by saying he should get going and I said okay and we immediately both got up and left. He walked me to my car and we continued to have a conversation. At my car he actually was a bit more "playful" (maybe it was because I was leaving lol....) He said to me that I have his number and should let him know if I want to go out again (something like that). I've NEVER had a guy word that to me at the end of the night. Usually it's something mutual like "Let's touch base and see each other again". I then said to him something my brother told me to do- set a another date during the most recent date. I figured he already wasn't interested but decided to try out that technique. When he made that comment about me textig or calling him to go out again, I flat out said "I know a great place that has entertainment and great tacos on Thursday. Why don't we meet Thursday?" He said during the week is bad and that weekends are better (wtf since we met on a Monday....).
What exactly went wrong? I cannot figure out this guy at all and know I shouldn't try to but it's driving me crazy! If he wasn't interested in me before our real date, why did he bother saying "yes" to me that he was interested on the speed dating card thing?! Also what the hell kind of comment is "You have my number. You can call me if you want to go out again?" I'm assuming that's a nice way of saying "Hey, I'm not interested in you so hopefully you can get the hint." But again, why say yes to me during the night if he wasn't interested!?!?!
These things happen, no need to agonize or over analyze them.
Trust me, things can change quickly. There may have been an initial 'attraction' based on the excitement and novelty of meeting at a speed date.
But once you go your separate ways, things may seem different once people 'sit' on the initial encounter. Perhaps when that novelty wears off, there really was nothing. And perhaps the date was just a way for the guy to confirm his gut reaction. Yes, people are fickle like that.
Clearly he doesn't seem to be interested in you the way you are in him.
Trust me, many guys don't hide their true feelings and intentions for women for the most part. If they really like a girl, do youthink he'll give you vague and lackluster messages about keeping in touch? Awww, hell no! They'd be texting you back right away, and initiating the conversation and wanting to meet you.
But hey, who knows, maybe if you pursue it, perhaps it may work out. What do we know.
These things happen, no need to agonize or over analyze them.
Trust me, things can change quickly. There may have been an initial 'attraction' based on the excitement and novelty of meeting at a speed date.
But once you go your separate ways, things may seem different once people 'sit' on the initial encounter. Perhaps when that novelty wears off, there really was nothing. And perhaps the date was just a way for the guy to confirm his gut reaction. Yes, people are fickle like that.
Clearly he doesn't seem to be interested in you the way you are in him.
Trust me, many guys don't hide their true feelings and intentions for women for the most part. If they really like a girl, do you think he'll give you vague and lackluster messages about keeping in touch? Awwwh, hell no! They'd be texting you back right away, and initiating the conversation and wanting to meet you.
But hey, who knows, maybe if you pursue it, perhaps it may work out. What do we know.
Actually now that you are saying that, I would guess that's it .
He turned me down during the date for going out on a Thursday and he didn't try to make another plan with me. All I got was a "weekends are better" response and that I have his number... I take that as rejection which is fine. Part of me wants to ask him out again for a second date but on the weekend to see what he says but honestly I do not want to initiate again. He initiated conversation during the event 2 times, mutual one at the last event, then I initiated once I found out the feeling was mutual, after I initiated the first date, and lastly I initiated a 2nd date at the end of the 1st date and his response made it clear that he didn't really like me. He did appear quieter during our real date than he did when I initially met him but I doubt that's what is keeping him from asking me out.
Actually now that you are saying that, I would guess that's it .
He turned me down during the date for going out on a Thursday and he didn't try to make another plan with me. All I got was a "weekends are better" response and that I have his number... I take that as rejection which is fine. Part of me wants to ask him out again for a second date but on the weekend to see what he says but honestly I do not want to initiate again. He initiated conversation during the event 2 times, mutual one at the last event, then I initiated once I found out the feeling was mutual, after I initiated the first date, and lastly I initiated a 2nd date at the end of the 1st date and his response made it clear that he didn't really like me. He did appear quieter during our real date than he did when I initially met him but I doubt that's what is keeping him from asking me out.
The "you have my number" comment means he isn't up to taking the initiative and makes it easier for him to reject you by ghosting instead of having to do it to your face, which he ended up trying to do by saying, "Weekends are better."
Actually now that you are saying that, I would guess that's it .
He turned me down during the date for going out on a Thursday and he didn't try to make another plan with me. All I got was a "weekends are better" response and that I have his number... I take that as rejection which is fine. Part of me wants to ask him out again for a second date but on the weekend to see what he says but honestly I do not want to initiate again. He initiated conversation during the event 2 times, mutual one at the last event, then I initiated once I found out the feeling was mutual, after I initiated the first date, and lastly I initiated a 2nd date at the end of the 1st date and his response made it clear that he didn't really like me. He did appear quieter during our real date than he did when I initially met him but I doubt that's what is keeping him from asking me out.
I'm sure the urge to contact him again is still strong, despite what reality may be. I get it, that strong attraction. Sometimes it's hard to shake that feeling.
If it puts your mind at more ease then contact him again. You never know.
But just think of it from your perspective. If you met a guy but you don't care for much, how would you act? Probably like the guy in this situation. Ease him into hoping he gets the hint you don't like him, without looking like the bad person.
Like I said, guys will let you know if they are really into you, actions speak louder.
I'm sure the urge to contact him again is still strong, despite what reality may be. I get it, that strong attraction. Sometimes it's hard to shake that feeling.
If it puts your mind at more ease then contact him again. You never know.
But just think of it from your perspective. If you met a guy but you don't care for much, how would you act? Probably like the guy in this situation. Ease him into hoping he gets the hint you don't like him, without looking like the bad person.
Like I said, guys will let you know if they are really into you, actions speak louder.
I don't think some of the responses on here really get what I am asking except really for yours. I see that he has very little to no interest in me despite the fact that when we first met, I could tell there was an attraction and good conversations between us 3x in 1 night. It's again the "what changed after" thing which is what is baffling me. Yes I know not to analyze this but of course I still am which is why I'm here lol. I've had guys not be interested in me before but this was just a new situation for me. I'm going at this point with what you said earlier, he felt excitement during the night when we first met but then once we were out of that environment, the excitement was gone, or I guess in comparison to the other 19 girls there, I was his top pick (I really think I was actually due to him deliberately seeking me out) but again once the night ended, he just didn't give me any thought at all). Maybe his age also plays a factor. I'm 30 and he's 24. Somehow during the night on our date age was mentioned (forgot the context) by me. He said that he is cool with older women.
With the line about "weekends are better" when I've had guys ghost me (I think that is the dumbest CD term on here.....no one in my region even says that) they typically seem like they had a great time, do the open ended "I would love to go out again" thing, or we actually do set a date during the last date but they end up canceling or just flat out drop off the face of the Earth. I also knew guys weren't interested on the first date if they just ended with "it was nice meeting you" with zero indication of further dates or communication. When I've had that it was 100% clear to me and I actually appreciated that because it was imo direct (although not "I didn't get a good vibe from you" or something similar)I'm not taking the initiative with him again. I mean I already did it essentially 3x in a row. I think if I were to ask him out again, he oddly enough would agree and show up but it would be EXACTLY like our date on Monday. Just very peculiar overall to me.
Oh well. Thanks for the responses anyway.
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