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I've been a long time lurker of City Data for quite awhile. I'm 32 and to be honest I don't have much experience with dating. The longest relationship (4 months) I've ever been in was with a girl I met while working in Nevada, She seemed great at first. I later found out she was married to an older guy who works out of town. I found this out a month after she abruptly left me after things were seemingly going ok. Apparently he came back from his out of state job. I ran into her later and got the story from her. I'm still kinda bummed that didn't work out, she was attractive and I enjoyed my time with her, but she ended up being a mess.
I don't know if that's the truth but I don't really care anymore. I miss her but I have her blocked on social media and everything. I've moved to another state for work either way.
I'm uneducated but I have a decent career, I'm a construction/project manager for an electrical company. I basically do everything related to projects I get. I usually have 15-30 guys working for me and I get them everything they need, train them and keep things within budget. I've worked my way up from a laborer with this company so if I quit or monkey branch to a new career it would be a massive pay-cut. I'm currently making 6 figures a year, I have a couple homes paid off that I rent out.
I love the work, but I hate the traveling. I move across North America every 3-6 months to chase my job around. I get 2-3 weeks of vacation and sometimes I get a solid month off if we are a little slow. They usually keep me busy but I can opt to take a short layoff. I have a large savings built up but I'm scared to leave my job in fear I'll be stuck working at Home Depot or something.
I've never really been a social butterfly and I've just been letting life pass me by these past 10-15 years. I'm socially inept and boring and finally looking to change, I've been on quite a few first dates but I never hear from them again usually. I've never asked out a woman in real life, it's always through Online dating. I don't have much experience in the bedroom either outside of that 4 month mess. Other than that it's just been a few one night stands from when I used to drink to much.. which I have gave up.
Any advice would be great. My family thinks I'm a catch and they bother me all the time about finding a girlfriend. I'd love to but I'm clueless. I feel like I'll be alone forever, I don't even have any male friends really. It's not so bad when I have a busy project to take care of, when I have free time like I do now it gets pretty depressing.
I've been a long time lurker of City Data for quite awhile. I'm 32 and to be honest I don't have much experience with dating. The longest relationship (4 months) I've ever been in was with a girl I met while working in Nevada, She seemed great at first. I later found out she was married to an older guy who works out of town. I found this out a month after she abruptly left me after things were seemingly going ok. Apparently he came back from his out of state job. I ran into her later and got the story from her. I'm still kinda bummed that didn't work out, she was attractive and I enjoyed my time with her, but she ended up being a mess.
I don't know if that's the truth but I don't really care anymore. I miss her but I have her blocked on social media and everything. I've moved to another state for work either way.
I'm uneducated but I have a decent career, I'm a construction/project manager for an electrical company. I basically do everything related to projects I get. I usually have 15-30 guys working for me and I get them everything they need, train them and keep things within budget. I've worked my way up from a laborer with this company so if I quit or monkey branch to a new career it would be a massive pay-cut. I'm currently making 6 figures a year, I have a couple homes paid off that I rent out.
I love the work, but I hate the traveling. I move across North America every 3-6 months to chase my job around. I get 2-3 weeks of vacation and sometimes I get a solid month off if we are a little slow. They usually keep me busy but I can opt to take a short layoff. I have a large savings built up but I'm scared to leave my job in fear I'll be stuck working at Home Depot or something.
I've never really been a social butterfly and I've just been letting life pass me by these past 10-15 years. I'm socially inept and boring and finally looking to change, I've been on quite a few first dates but I never hear from them again usually. I've never asked out a woman in real life, it's always through Online dating. I don't have much experience in the bedroom either outside of that 4 month mess. Other than that it's just been a few one night stands from when I used to drink to much.. which I have gave up.
Any advice would be great. My family thinks I'm a catch and they bother me all the time about finding a girlfriend. I'd love to but I'm clueless. I feel like I'll be alone forever, I don't even have any male friends really. It's not so bad when I have a busy project to take care of, when I have free time like I do now it gets pretty depressing.
First. Stop the self pity. It is a major turn off. Hold your head high and force yourself to be outgoing and engaging. Fake it
2nd. There is no difference between online dating and "real life" (offline dating). Again, you have had a few dates while using OLD. Keep trying.
Honestly, it would be difficult to find and maintain a relationship with all that moving and traveling. But there are women out there who love and will accept that lifestyle.
Yeah, that's really tough. Do you always tell the women you're only there for a few months? I'm experiencing the same kind of thing with moving around. I can always see them pull away after I tell them. They hang around for the sex but I hate seeing them keep a distance. I know people just don't do long distance but I guess I'm an idealist. It sucks though that it feels like they're not even giving you a chance.
As for your social anxiety, see each new place as an experience, a fresh start. You'll never see the people in that town again so you really have nothing to lose. Get over your ego. If you want to talk to women in public, then talk to them. Take each rejection as a lesson and a practice to get over feeling rejected. It'll help your confidence when you do finally get a yes. Just seem like an outgoing and friendly person in general and women won't feel like a prey.
Yeah, that's really tough. Do you always tell the women you're only there for a few months? I'm experiencing the same kind of thing with moving around. I can always see them pull away after I tell them. They hang around for the sex but I hate seeing them keep a distance. I know people just don't do long distance but I guess I'm an idealist. It sucks though that it feels like they're not even giving you a chance.
As for your social anxiety, see each new place as an experience, a fresh start. You'll never see the people in that town again so you really have nothing to lose. Get over your ego. If you want to talk to women in public, then talk to them. Take each rejection as a lesson and a practice to get over feeling rejected. It'll help your confidence when you do finally get a yes. Just seem like an outgoing and friendly person in general and women won't feel like a prey.
Yeah I usually tell them I travel for work, I don't really put a timeline on it though. I don't know if it's my career or my anixtey holding things back in the dating world, probably a bit of both. I feel like my life is a scattered mess, I make a lot of money but this whole of not having a solid home/routine is a killer. Its really tearing me down.
I can't really quit my job as I help out my family a lot, my sisters both struggle with money and if I don't help them along a bit they suck my parents dry, and they really can't afford it. I don't really give them money but they live in my rental properties for free basically. They keep things clean, fix stuff and sometimes pay me rent. My Parents are getting old and struggle paying their health insurance so I help them out with that too.
I know that makes me look like a doormat, but I really don't want to turn a blind eye to my family. They're the only ones I feel completely comfortable around anyway. It really doesn't affect me that much since I live well below my means. I just won't be able to continue the trend if I took a lower paying job.
Yeah, I'm trying to be confident when I'm out and about. I recently took a week long trip to NYC and I was able to talk to quite a few people and hold nice conversations. A couple of them were even attractive women, I don't really think they were interested in me but they talked to me for about an hour while I ate and wrote down some pubs and tourist things I should check out during my trip.
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