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I've been with my current bf for almost 3 months. We are both 38. We live about 30 minutes apart, both work full time, I have 4 kids living with me, he has 2 living with him, but all of our kids are old enough to stay home alone. My kids father is very involved, but his kids mother is not in the picture.
We met on an online website. We went on our first date & hit it off right away. We text a little in the morning to say our good mornings, a couple times throughout the day from work, and for a few hours every night til we go to bed. We don't flirt too often thru text. I'm a flirty person, but he doesn't seem to be. Then, we see each other every Saturday. It's great when we are together. I would really like to see each other more often. I am willing to drive his way since I get off earlier. It will be easier once we meet each others kids.
We have had the talk about not seeing other people & that we can tell people we are boyfriend/girlfriend. I deleted my online profile. I did, however, create a fake one to see if he still logs in. He hasn't since the night he got my number up until about a month ago. He got on then didn't get back on for a month later, which was last weekend. Then, I noticed he was on last night again. What's the deal? I don't think he's seeing anyone else. But why get on there? He has to have seen I deleted mine. Is he just curious because he's a guy. Or is he looking. A little part of me is worried, but most of me isn't. Is this a normal thing for a guy to do? I've asked a couple of my guy friends, and they said for me not to worry cuz guys get on there since they are curious. I don't know. I can't just ask my boyfriend since I deleted my real account. I thought about saying my friend is on there (true) & she saw him on his profile. What do you guys think? Should I worry or just let it go? Keep an eye for him to be on more often?
***I should tell you that my ex husband cheated on me. That's why I'm not very trusting & am checking up on him. I know it's wrong to create a fake profile.
Maybe talk to him; don't say you know he was on or anything like that. Instead, share with him that you deleted your profile, and ask him if he has done the same. If he says he still has the profile, then ask how often does he use it and what's his logic...
His response will tell you if he is honest or not.
If he is honest about it, I'd let him de-activate it on his own terms, whenever he is ready.
It's weird how you can't tell him to delete his profile if you two have been together for 3 months now? What's stopping you?
My husband when we were still dating, deleted his profile when he met me. I didn't ask him to. I have not deleted mine though because we never had the 'talk' yet. And we were only seeing each other then.
I found out though that it bothers him, and almost broke up with me coz of that. So I told him, I would delete my profile for him. It is only then I knew that he deleted his profile.
So you see, all you have to do is ask. It's not rocket science.
We have had the talk about not seeing other people & that we can tell people we are boyfriend/girlfriend. I deleted my online profile. I did, however, create a fake one to see if he still logs in. He hasn't since the night he got my number up until about a month ago. He got on then didn't get back on for a month later, which was last weekend. Then, I noticed he was on last night again. What's the deal?
***I should tell you that my ex husband cheated on me. That's why I'm not very trusting & am checking up on him. I know it's wrong to create a fake profile.
Forgive yourself, you are only human. You are insecure about your relationship, therefore you created a fake profile. It is understandable.
However, I wonder if you are completely happy with him and your relationship. Normally, insecurity is a sign of unhappiness, so maybe you should be truthful to yourself first and see if you are genuinely happy with this relationship first.
I know you have deleted your profile, but did he promise to delete his? Maybe he is still deciding if he is ready for a committed relationship with you. I wouldn't say this is a deal breaker without talking to him first.
Since you guys are together you should be comfortable enough to bring up the topic of online profiles. Just ask him casually if he's still on there. If he tells you the truth, he's a keeper, but if he lies then, he's not. I had a friend that met someone on there but still kept his profile and the only time he viewed it was when he got a notification. So It could easily be that.
Last edited by Imagirlnamedk; 03-31-2014 at 11:24 AM..
Forgive yourself, you are only human. You are insecure about your relationship, therefore you created a fake profile. It is understandable.
However, I wonder if you are completely happy with him and your relationship. Normally, insecurity is a sign of unhappiness, so maybe you should be truthful to yourself first and see if you are genuinely happy with this relationship first.
I know you have deleted your profile, but did he promise to delete his? Maybe he is still deciding if he is ready for a committed relationship with you. I wouldn't say this is a deal breaker without talking to him first.
Thank you I feel bad making that profile.
We are in a committed relationship as far as only seeing each other. Is that what you mean?
I feel happy, I just wish we saw each other more often. I told him just this Saturday that I like him & like spending time with him but I'm afraid with us only seeing each other once a week that he will get bored & lose interest. He is not a very good talker when it comes to feelings so he said "I'm good". lol Which in his language means we are good. haha
I've been with my current bf for almost 3 months. We are both 38. We live about 30 minutes apart, both work full time, I have 4 kids living with me, he has 2 living with him, but all of our kids are old enough to stay home alone. My kids father is very involved, but his kids mother is not in the picture.
We met on an online website. We went on our first date & hit it off right away. We text a little in the morning to say our good mornings, a couple times throughout the day from work, and for a few hours every night til we go to bed. We don't flirt too often thru text. I'm a flirty person, but he doesn't seem to be. Then, we see each other every Saturday. It's great when we are together. I would really like to see each other more often. I am willing to drive his way since I get off earlier. It will be easier once we meet each others kids.
We have had the talk about not seeing other people & that we can tell people we are boyfriend/girlfriend. I deleted my online profile. I did, however, create a fake one to see if he still logs in. He hasn't since the night he got my number up until about a month ago. He got on then didn't get back on for a month later, which was last weekend. Then, I noticed he was on last night again. What's the deal? I don't think he's seeing anyone else. But why get on there? He has to have seen I deleted mine. Is he just curious because he's a guy. Or is he looking. A little part of me is worried, but most of me isn't. Is this a normal thing for a guy to do? I've asked a couple of my guy friends, and they said for me not to worry cuz guys get on there since they are curious. I don't know. I can't just ask my boyfriend since I deleted my real account. I thought about saying my friend is on there (true) & she saw him on his profile. What do you guys think? Should I worry or just let it go? Keep an eye for him to be on more often?
***I should tell you that my ex husband cheated on me. That's why I'm not very trusting & am checking up on him. I know it's wrong to create a fake profile.
You should have cut the ties with this guy the moment you even thought about making a "fake profile" to "check up on him".
You have already accused him of cheating even though he has done nothing and you did this just because you were cheated on "By SOMEONE ELSE". The current guy IS NOT SOMEONE ELSE.
Move on and let him find a woman who will not compare him to others and accuse him of cheating or feel the need to check up on him with a fake profile which I'm sure you will never tell him about. Talk about being deceiving.
Also, it appears the only "commitment" you have to this guy is checking up on him to see if you can prove he is cheating and then the icing on the cake is that you want to lie to him as well and tell him "your friend" saw his profile.
You need to stay out of any sort of relationship until you get past the whole cheating issue. That was someone else not the current person and the current person does not deserve to be treated as a cheater when they have done nothing wrong.
If you're only seeing each other one a week then boredom is the least of your worries.
So you want to see him more during the week ... what is his response?
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