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But I did go through a long, crappy relationship before I met my sweetie. It really, really destroyed my self-esteem for quite a while. Dealing with that guy sure taught me to appreciate a good one when my husband came along some years later! So even if there's a ton of pain, these kinds of relationships teach us very clearly what we do not want.
Spoiler Alert: If you haven't seen this movie City of Angels then don't watch this.
This is the ending conversation Nicholas Cage has with an angel where the angel asks him, "If you had known this is what would have happened - would you still have done it."
I love that!
A friend argued that he never wanted to be in a relationship because they're doomed to fail - either by being broken up or by death.
But that's life! What makes life so precious is that there's the possibility of death.
What makes love so priceless is that there's the awareness of how it is without it.
Life is so temporary! Make it count! Take it all in!
Any type of love is like small gifts we get here and there, what we choose to do with it is solely up to us. How we keep it is solely up to us. Through love we learn a lot about ourselves - good and bad and it helps us grow and become better people no matter how bitter it may end or escape us.
My nephew died this past Thanksgiving at the age of 20. What would have been his 21st birthday just happened to fall on Mother's Day this year - a double whammy for my SIL who is not dealing with it well at all to begin with. I wrote her a letter for Mother's Day and happened to mention this very thing. His name is James and he seemed like 'Love Itself' in this family. He had a huge heart and would never, ever dream of getting off the phone with anyone without saying, "I love you" first. I mean NEVER. I told my SIL that every moment with him was a gift of love and my life was richer for having him in it and no pain in the world would ever make me feel any different. My last two memories of him was hearing his laughter coming from my backyard when he was raking my leaves with his cousin. I sit here and I can still hear his laughter and it is bittersweet, but makes me feel warm and happy. But the best thing is, I lost one of my dogs and he called me about it and, of course, the very last thing he said to me on the phone was "I love you Aunt T." He died a week later. It was, in fact, the very last thing he said to me ever, "I love you Aunt T." I feel with that he gave me a gift I will be able to rely on for the rest of my life. If I feel down or things happen with other people, I can always hear his voice say, "I love you Aunt T." No pain in the world will ever make me want to trade that in.
First, he shoved her into the side of the car, and then was yelling all kinds of obsenties at her. He called her a stupid who#e and told her to get in the car and shut up, or he would beat her F 'ing a$$ right there.
I'm sorry for your pain, but I'm a little confused. He shoved her into the side of the car and you just stood and watched? Even if you didn't know the woman, it would have been noble to stand up and defend her.
I'm sorry for your pain, but I'm a little confused. He shoved her into the side of the car and you just stood and watched? Even if you didn't know the woman, it would have been noble to stand up and defend her.
Unless he could have actually incapacitated her husband, no it wouldn't have been. Abusers wait until well-intentioned rescuers go on their way and then double down on whatever they were doing to their victim.
I think age might have something to do with it has well. I'm 44 & I think that IF this one relationships fails then I'm done but I've been wrong before. Then again I've never made that statement either I guess time will tell.....maybe
It's better to have loved and lost, definitely. I met my utterly inappropriate favorite ex shortly after losing two people very dear to me. We had no chance of surviving as a couple, and we knew it, no matter the wishful thinking we may have done. We helped each other through terrible times, had some great moments, but ultimately broke up. An attempt to revive the relationship a few years later also failed. Some of my best memories are from my time with him. We do not communicate with each other, but I keep tabs on him and I know he keeps tabs on me. I would not ever want to be with him again - we're just a bad fit. But I am a better person for having been with him, and we both know that we have someone who will be at our sides in an instant if we should ever ask for that.
My mother hated the guy. His sketchy past, his lack of ambition, his tattoos, his long hair, his recklessness - but when a friend of mine told my mother she should encourage me to end the relationship, my mother shut her down immediately. She told her "I don't like him at all, but I have never doubted for one second that he loves her with all his heart. He treats her like gold."
Perhaps tangential to the original post, when I'm considering an exclusive relationship with a guy, I consider what my ex would say about the way my potential partner treats me.
what is the alternative? giving up? as someone said, this is life. this is what it is. there really is not much more to it than that.
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