Quote:
Originally Posted by Symphony7X
Ive already had some dating experiences with women much less attractive than myself
Now just looking for someone on the same level
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This is problem number 1. If you're thinking in terms of levels or numbers it ain't gonna work. I never understand people that want to say "oh, (s)he is a 7.5." According to who? What makes you think someone is above or below your level?
Step 1: Get shot down......a lot. To the point where it isn't that big a deal for you any more. When I was single my friends and I used to play a game where we each threw a horrible pick-up line in a hat, took turns drawing them out and if you weren't willing to go use it on a woman, you had to buy the next round. Some women saw the irony in the terrible pick up lines, most rolled their eyes. Strange, I can't believe women didn't get all hot when I said "Nice shoes, wanna get naked?."
Either way after a few times, getting shot down wasn't a problem.
Step 2: Quit buying into what MTV and Cosmo tell you beautiful is. Find people that you think are attractive for your own reasons. Me, I'm a sucker for a woman with long hair, a dry sense of humor, and a liberal outlook on life. Once you identify what's important to you beyond ascribing a numerical value to "hotness" that genuine interest will show through, hopefully more than the desperation.
Step 3: Look for that woman that you find attractive and work to get to know her first. Be a friend, but I wouldn't hesitate to let her know you're interested because as you've already discovered being a friend without planting the idea of more just results in being a friend. Worth noting: Letting a woman that you're making friends with know that you're interested is much scarier than getting shotdown by someone you don't know since their opinion matters, this is why you've got to get comfortable with step 1 first. But also worth noting, she's probably as nervous as you are, so relax.
Step 4: Do something different. Everybody goes "out." Long dinners require extensive conversation, try going to a go-kart track or a high ropes course, it's fun and you only have to fill in some conversation between activity, not hours of conversation.
Just a couple thoughts.
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