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It varies by site, by geographic location, and by who happens to be single at any given time in your area. In my area men on okcupid outnumber women a little under 2:1.
If overweight bothers you, try Tinder. The girls are hotter there and if they swipe right on you, at the very least that means you're attractive enough for them to consider taking another step. It's less of a time sink and you get better ROI. I just swipe right on everyone for a couple minutes when I'm waiting in a queue, waiting for the bus, before I go to sleep, whenever, then when I get matches, block them if they're unattractive or message them if they're cute. I uninstall the app every so often and re-install it using different pictures because you'll get different matches and differing numbers of matches even with small variations in your pose / smile / activity in the picture.
The response rate & success at getting a meet is just as good if not better than okcupid, match, & you don't have to gloss over reading how they're "down to earth" and "love to travel" b.s. All I did was look at the pictures mostly on OLD anyway. 85%+ of profiles say the same thing in the same banal way.
I have success in real life and in the little bit of online dating I've done, had no results. I asked some semi-attractive women how many emails they get daily and they said it's sometimes hundreds, usually at least a hundred a day.
That's just insane. I'll stick to in person, works better. Even the most approachable attractive woman can't be getting approached in person more then a dozen times a day, I'll take that over a few hundred. Plus I feel like my bio comes off as made up or exaggerated even though it isn't, so either I neuter myself and blend in with the masses or come off as fake or full-o-myself. I'm kind of awesome like that I guess, lol!
That might sound nice, but the.......
Ughh...the dreaded "no chemistry date".
And guys wonder why they hear from a woman there's "no chemistry" often on online first dates that never turn into anything and are a complete waste of time. Who wants to go on dates like that? It gets your hopes up for nothing. Especially if you really like the girl.
IMO, you shouldn't have your hopes up about a stranger period. IMO also, trying to determine if there's chemistry before even meeting is the waste of time. No one likes dates with no chemistry, but I can have a pleasant conversation with just about anyone, chemistry or not, and even if not, it's only drinks or coffee, so not that long anyway.
All I can say is I did it the other way for years, and since I started being more open I have many more dates and meeting more quality people. There are many men who I didn't think there'd be chemistry with beforehand who actually meshed well in person.
IMO, you shouldn't have your hopes up about a stranger period. IMO also, trying to determine if there's chemistry before even meeting is the waste of time. No one likes dates with no chemistry, but I can have a pleasant conversation with just about anyone, chemistry or not, and even if not, it's only drinks or coffee, so not that long anyway.
All I can say is I did it the other way for years, and since I started being more open I have many more dates and meeting more quality people. There are many men who I didn't think there'd be chemistry with beforehand who actually meshed well in person.
I think it must be hard not to to get your hopes up, when you're looking forward to meeting someone in person for the first time. But yes, the flip side is that you have not met in person, so your expectations should not be so high that it's a devastation if you don't "click".
I think it must be hard not to to get your hopes up, when you're looking forward to meeting someone in person for the first time. But yes, the flip side is that you have not met in person, so your expectations should not be so high that it's a devastation if you don't "click".
I've literally seen 100s and 100s of men, many good looking/cool guys who are able to have success in real life, say that the only way they got any responses at all online is to go after women way less attractive than themselves. That really seems to be the only way to succeed as a man in OLD - if you're good looking, fit, young, successful, go after 35 year old overweight moms
What causes the monstrous disparity?
Depends on where you are located. I fit the bolded. And when I did OLD, I had no shortage of desirable women message me and at my finger tips. So its not how it works in my part of the world.
Proves it varies from location to location. Also helps where I live the ratio of women to men in my age range is
3 : 1. (3 women for every one guy).
IMO also, trying to determine if there's chemistry before even meeting is the waste of time. No one likes dates with no chemistry, but I can have a pleasant conversation with just about anyone, chemistry or not, and even if not, it's only drinks or coffee, so not that long anyway.
n.
But, if that's the case, then why spend so long emailing? See it's not JUST a coffee. It's like a full time job trying to get to know someone(since chemistry seems unlikely from one person.) though email. Maybe just meet up at public place quickly rather than email for a long time. And you can't tell if someone's crazy anyway just from emailing. A serial killer could seem very personable. "he seemed so normal". So that's not a valid excuse. Key is public place. Internet dating is no more dangerous than meeting people at a bar. If anything it's safer since there's been a electronic fingerprint(ip address/pics ect) of the entire engagement.
A man can tell if there's "chemistry" by looking at your pictures. Show me a full length picture of a pretty girl and I'll know if I'm attracted to her in "that way". The whole "chemistry" thing is definitely a female thing. GUYS BE HONEST HERE! Don't B.S. We all know what the real deal is on how we as men feel.
It takes a women a few seconds in person meeting to tell if it's there, so the "chemistry" is superficial. Ladies, how many times have you had "chemistry" with a complete a-hole. Chemistry is just instant superficial in person sexual attraction. Just sexual instincts. Nothing to do with what's inside a person.
I have to be honest. I couldn't do online dating meeting people that I have no idea if I'm attracted to them. Especially spending all that time with useless emails for something that will go nowhere. Who has time for that? It will get tedious and frustrating and you'll quit. It's bad being on a date with someone you have zero attraction to. lol It's horribly awkward. It's just a bad date. Especially if it keeps happening. One date is one thing, but if it happens over and over again like many online female daters that can't seem to find a man. They're only interested in very few men, which is going to make it difficult to find someone and might make them pick a jerk just because of chemistry.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mikelizard860
But, if that's the case, then why spend so long emailing?
I don't and most people I know don't. A few emails over a few days and set a place and time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikelizard860
A man can tell if there's "chemistry" by looking at your pictures. Show me a full length picture of a pretty girl and I'll know if I'm attracted to her in "that way". The whole "chemistry" thing is definitely a female thing. GUYS BE HONEST HERE! Don't B.S. We all know what the real deal is on how we as men feel.
No freaking way! I've gone out with nice very good looking (face and body) women more than a few times and felt absolutely nothing for them. There was just nothing there. No spark. No connection. Nothing. It is super frustrating. Physical looks and attraction are not the same thing. I hate how people use those terms like they're synonymous.
No freaking way! I've gone out with nice very good looking (face and body) women more than a few times and felt absolutely nothing for them. There was just nothing there. No spark. No connection. Nothing. It is super frustrating. Physical looks and attraction are not the same thing. I hate how people use those terms like they're synonymous.
Well maybe you're cursed.
So you'd go out with a girl who looked like miranda kerr and feel no instant attraction assuming she was a nice sweet girl with a good personality? LOL
Hey maybe it's just me then
I can tell if I'm attracted to someone from looking at them. LOVE takes a long time getting to know someone. So "feeeling" love is different than simple attraction and take a while. Don't discount someone just because you don't get some ridiculous superficial love at first sight butterflies nonsense. ACTUAL REAL love takes time. Just as long as attraction is there then continue it.
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