Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
He was, but I really think a lot of it was pent up frustration. Like I said, he's openly gay now and a much, much happier person for it. I think holding all that in and trying to live a lie made him miserable and lash out. Like I said. First to go from his life was his own family... then his friends. At least I was the last he kicked to the curb. Honestly, he's much better now (and I am not just saying that because I no longer have to live with him, lol).
I think this study just shows that there are, and have been, a ton of crap marriages in this country.
I don't think my opinions on why most marriages turn to crap and women end up unhaaaapppyyy will fly here, but you wouldn't fall into that category anyway.
Many women fall into the "house slave" roll because they can't be content to live in filth and chaos. I'm going to put a disclaimer before this next statement: NOT ALL HUSBANDS ARE LIKE THIS but the ones that are tend to fall into one of two categories: They are aggressive with their refusal to carry their load in the house (that's woman's work!) or passive-aggressive with it (sure I'll get to that or just wait to be told what to do constantly and then feel nagged about it). Meanwhile, the house is falling apart and the children need to be cared for. Also the fact that society places pressure on women to maintain the home and they get a negative rep when things are chaotic. Have you ever heard anyone say: Where is that child's father? When they look disheveled or are not prepared for the day at the sitter or school? No it's always: Why did your mother let you out of the house like that? Why didn't your mother send this or that to school? She keeps a filthy house and never cooks. What kind of a mother are you etc? Dads tend to get a pass if they can't keep up with the chores or child-rearing and they get high praise for doing the bare minimum. You see a man out with his own children and people will say stupid stuff and act like he's doing his wife a huge favor by "babysitting" his own children or he is super-dad for holding down the fort in a half-a&&ed way while the wife is occupied.
^^^This exactly. My two ex'es were the passive-aggressive type. And don't forget the strategy where they intentionally messed up every task so you wont ask them to do it again. Also many of us older women were brought up to believe it was our duty to do all these things (gender roles) and society strongly backed that up. Following the norms that were instilled throughout ones formative years does not mean a person is not also strong and independent.
I also know men who do more than their share of domestic work some even when their wives do not work. Just talked to one of them today and he stated if anything happened to his wife he would never marry again.
Quote:
There has to be something to this study since 2/3 of divorces are initiated
by women.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wipe out
I think the high female divorce rate has to do with other factors than house work
I bet. Let me guess bored housewife looking to live high on the hog on that 500$/mo. child support?
I don't think women file exclusively because of the unequal burden of housework but that contributes to an unhappy marriage.
I bet. Let me guess bored housewife looking to live high on the hog on that 500$/mo. child support?
I don't think women file exclusively because of the unequal burden of housework but that contributes to an unhappy marriage.
No.
My opinion is that many women that get divorced spent their twenties chasing hot "bad boys" that would never commit. Finally they change up the type of guy they go after. A nicer, more stable, maybe not as physically attractive type. They marry. But he just doesn't create the attraction like the men of her past. He bored her, he doesn't turn her on. Attraction and desire cannot be forced or negotiated. With the lack of consequences for most women to blow up a marriage shell initiate because she's not haaaappppyyy, or to find herself or to go on vacation with her sexy boss.
I won't say that this never occurs but you must be a single & never-married before person to think this is the reason for the majority of divorces initiated by women.
That's likey a reason for many women who cheat but break up a marriage over lack of excitement? I think a lot of soon to be ex-husbands and ex-husband's are truly in denial and it's just easier to say she was bored than to evaulate their role in the failure of the marriage.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wipe out
No.
My opinion is that many women that get divorced spent their twenties chasing hot "bad boys" that would never commit. Finally they change up the type of guy they go after. A nicer, more stable, maybe not as physically attractive type. They marry. But he just doesn't create the attraction like the men of her past. He bored her, he doesn't turn her on. Attraction and desire cannot be forced or negotiated. With the lack of consequences for most women to blow up a marriage shell initiate because she's not haaaappppyyy, or to find herself or to go on vacation with her sexy boss.
There was a Harvard study that found that all statements beginning with "There was a Harvard study" have never had their subject studied by anyone at Harvard.
I think it's quite a stretch to say women do all these things these days. I've never been married, but in most relationships I have been in I've been the one doing the cooking and cleaning.
I said "a lot". My mom has a male cousin who did a lot of the housework and taking care of kids while his wife worked and went to school.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by va_bank
There was a Harvard study that found that all statements beginning with "There was a Harvard study" have never had their subject studied by anyone at Harvard.
As I mentioned before, it was (if I'm thinking of the one I believe this is) was not conducted by Harvard. It was reported on in a Harvard Men's Health newsletter, but not conducted by Harvard.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasper03
I won't say that this never occurs but you must be a single & never-married before person to think this is the reason for the majority of divorces initiated by women.
Indeed. People here promote that fallacy. They, I believe purposefully, conflate who files the divorce and who initiates it. Not at all the same thing.
Huh, I read somewhat different, that married women are unhappier and married men are happier. Since women do all the housework, child-rearing, etc. a lot in addition to full-time jobs it's no wonder.
I think this study just shows that there are, and have been, a ton of crap marriages in this country.
I don't think my opinions on why most marriages turn to crap and women end up unhaaaapppyyy will fly here, but you wouldn't fall into that category anyway.
Now you have to tell us.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
