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Dishonesty is the ultimate slippery slope, though. Somebody who has no problem justifying small fabrications may have no issue justifying larger ones.
In a dating profile, all a lie does is expose an insecurity...never an attractive thing.
I agree with this. Trust is a fragile thing. Why start out a relationship with a lie? If someone doesn't like you for who you are or how you look that's their loss.
I think lying is a big deal. I would not want to associate that person if I found out they betrayed my trust that early on in a relationship.
OP, you try to pin this on the person who's "supposed to handle the lying" while taking away the blame from the perpetrator of the lies. That seems highly unreasonable. It's not acceptable to lie, especially not to someone whom you're trying to establish trust with. Because maybe it's just a small lie today. But down the road it might turn into bigger and bigger lies.
Maybe instead people should take responsibility for themselves. If they are overweight, don't lie about it. Fix it by eating better and exercising. If you are of a certain age, don't lie about it. Just accept the fact that your dating pool has shifted to another demographic.
Advocating lying or dismissing it is not fair to those of us who are honest and are expecting honest people to be part of our lives.
You think I'm making too big a deal out of it. Seems a number of people here agree with me on this. We don't think it's making too big a deal out of it. Different strokes. If you want to date liars and insecure manipulators, go ahead. But I will say that if I were a man and I wanted kids, and a woman in her 40s lied about being in her 30s, I'd be annoyed and dropkick her then and there. Those few years do make a difference in terms of having kids.
At any rate, I don't have to settle for people who can't be honest about the smallest thing.
Ah yes. The appeal to popularity. That's a logical fallacy.
Appeals to popularity suggest that an idea must be true simply because it is widely held. This is a fallacy because popular opinion can be, and quite often is, mistaken. Hindsight makes this clear: there were times when the majority of the population believed that the Earth is the still centre of the universe, and that diseases are caused by evil spirits; neither of these ideas was true, despite its popularity.
BTW, do you wear makeup? Cause I could make a case that that's a form of dishonesty. After all, you're covering up your face to hide your flaws and make yourself look more attractive. If a woman wears makeup to mislead me, should I now conclude that she's insecure and lies about other things too?
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
Wow, you really love to lie to yourself don't you?
BTW, lying is always a big deal.
How am I lying to myself? And no, lying ISN'T always a big deal. What matters is what you lied about, the degree of dishonesty, and your intent. See my makeup example above.
OP, you try to pin this on the person who's "supposed to handle the lying" while taking away the blame from the perpetrator of the lies. That seems highly unreasonable. It's not acceptable to lie, especially not to someone whom you're trying to establish trust with. Because maybe it's just a small lie today. But down the road it might turn into bigger and bigger lies.
Show me where I try to pin this on the person who's supposed to handle the lying. Show me where I take away blame from the person who lied.
Really? You're gonna equate good grooming with being a liar? Okay, then.
No, actually I'm just showing the flawed arguments people are employing here. They're making a big stink over someone misleading them when they themselves probably do things that qualify as misleading too.
Ah yes. The appeal to popularity. That's a logical fallacy.
I'm not debating with you. I am saying that just because YOU think others are making too big a deal out of lying, that doesn't mean they are. It's a personal choice. We could just as easily say you are not making enough of a big deal out of it, but if you are okay with people lying to you, that's your business. I really could not care less whether you date liars.
I'm not debating with you. I am saying that just because YOU think others are making too big a deal out of lying, that doesn't mean they are. It's a personal choice. We could just as easily say you are not making enough of a big deal out of it, but if you are okay with people lying to you, that's your business. I really could not care less whether you date liars.
I noticed that you avoided answering my question about makeup. Cause there's nothing misleading about hiding the flaws on your face, right?
And that's my point. It's not a big lie. She lied about her age because she didn't want guys to filter her out from search results, not because she was trying to hurt me.
Huh? Okay so using your example, she wasn't trying to HURT you, she was trying to MANIPULATE you. So that isn't bad?
imho anyone who thinks lying is acceptable is willing to lie, and I personally don't need any more of that.
I noticed that you avoided answering my question about makeup. Cause there's nothing misleading about hiding the flaws on your face, right?
Actually, I have no flaws on my face. Thanks for playing!
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