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It seems like all people are looking for is a hot piece of meat. Now I'm definitely not what one would describe as hot, but I make a very detailed, informative profile describing my interests, hobbies, etc. and regularly send other users nice messages, as simple as "Hi how are you?" and while each person views my profile, they never write a response. Yet people deemed "hot" by conventional standards but having the content of their profile state "Uhhh..dont kno what 2 say here just ask i gess" get loads of people interested in them.
If that's how it is, why not just get rid of the description field altogether and just have people's pictures as their entire profile? As a person with crippling social anxiety, I actually believe I'd have better luck going out in public and looking for someone. Now that's saying something. Thoughts?
I don't respond to "Hi, How are you messages?" because
1. They show no sign of having read my profile
2. It's a pretty closed-ended question that is the second most boring small talk opener ever, right after comments about the weather. It sounds canned, like they send out the same line in mass emails, hoping one hits.
Try asking more open-ended questions on topics directly pertaining to the person's individual profile.
yep I always thought of online dating as a joke with all the scammers on there and the pics of the big boobs and a 21 year old going for a 40 year old LOL not to mention all of the porn bots. sorry if I want to meet someone I go out and meet em face to face not over the interwebs where you could wind up with a NUT job
I don't respond to "Hi, How are you messages?" because
1. They show no sign of having read my profile
2. It's a pretty closed-ended question that is the second most boring small talk opener ever, right after comments about the weather. It sounds canned, like they send out the same line in mass emails, hoping one hits.
Try asking more open-ended questions on topics directly pertaining to the person's individual profile.
I guess, but why not start something back in return?
I'm guessing you're a woman. You can't really blame a guy for doing that. Odds are that he's tried the method regarding to messaging about a specific profile detail and that got him nowhere aside from a gal mass deleting tons of messages anyway.
Damned if you do...especially if you are thinking every conversation you ever will have with a guy is going to be the best thing ever. You'll be disappointed just like very woman who wants to "be surprised" on their first date.
I guess, but why not start something back in return?
I'm guessing you're a woman. You can't really blame a guy for doing that. Odds are that he's tried the method regarding to messaging about a specific profile detail and that got him nowhere aside from a gal mass deleting tons of messages anyway.
Damned if you do...especially if you are thinking every conversation you ever will have with a guy is going to be the best thing ever. You'll be disappointed just like very woman who wants to "be surprised" on their first date.
I've tried the "find something interesting in their profile to start a conversation" method numerous times before. It's only "worked" once. But I guess it's the luck of the draw. Sometimes you'll get a hit, sometimes you wont.
I guess, but why not start something back in return?
I'm guessing you're a woman. You can't really blame a guy for doing that. Odds are that he's tried the method regarding to messaging about a specific profile detail and that got him nowhere aside from a gal mass deleting tons of messages anyway.
Damned if you do...especially if you are thinking every conversation you ever will have with a guy is going to be the best thing ever. You'll be disappointed just like very woman who wants to "be surprised" on their first date.
Because I have many other messages where a person equally or more attractive with a more appealing and compatible sounding profile bothered to write one sentence and a question that showed he read my profile and is not just playing a numbers game. It's not hard to take 1 minute to write a very brief message like that.
Why should I write such a person back? What motivation would I have to do that? The few times I have, its gone nowhere because the person is not interesting. Maybe some other girl will want to crack his shell, but not me. I'm the shy one - I need to be pursued, not the other way around.
Your last paragraph makes no sense at all. There is less chance of negative surprise if people can demonstrate their personality and intent through messages first. There is better chance of finding "the best thing" for me if someone messages me having read my profile and not just based on photos.
I'm not a huge fan of online dating, but obviously there are ways to maximize it still.
I personally don't use online dating. I heard from a friend of mine that it is a complete waste of time.
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