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let me introduce you to the concept of "limits" since it seems to be elusive to you.
if someone is texting you outside of the hours that you want to respond, just don't respond to them AT ALL.
if you need to get more formal then say "I'm working beeaytch, and I got a lot of meetings right now. if you wanna talk you can text me after 6 p.m. when I get out of the gym, but not after 10 p.m. Because I need my beauty sleep."
a guy is just working his game, trying to engender conversation and familiarity. Either you give him a chance, on your terms, and you are flattered and amused and delighted, or tell him to take a hike in a pleasant way. Just say "I dont have a lot of time to talk about random chit. If you wanna take me out for hot wings and a hockey game friday night, that'd be cool. We'll have plenty if time to chit chat THEN"
let me introduce you to the concept of "limits" since it seems to be elusive to you.
if someone is texting you outside of the hours that you want to respond, just don't respond to them AT ALL.
if you need to get more formal then say "I'm working beeaytch, and I got a lot of meetings right now. if you wanna talk you can text me after 6 p.m. when I get out of the gym, but not after 10 p.m. Because I need my beauty sleep."
a guy is just working his game, trying to engender conversation and familiarity. Either you give him a chance, on your terms, and you are flattered and amused and delighted, or tell him to take a hike in a pleasant way. Just say "I dont have a lot of time to talk about random chit. If you wanna take me out for hot wings and a hockey game friday night, that'd be cool. We'll have plenty if time to chit chat THEN"
I know how to handle it I was more or less just complaining and asking if everything by text is the new normal when it comes to getting to know people. I do set limits, but they seem to get offended that I don't want to text them while I'm at work or the gym etc, because they like to text in those settings so they don't understand why not. Not sure if it's mostly young people that do this or what.
OP - thank you for saying all that. I have issues with the constant texters too. And for me they are online acquaintances too. Even the ??? is the same.
Now for ppl I am close wit Ih'll have text-flurry days - but it like one day every 2 weeks where we get caught up. For 'strangers' I feel impeded on. Many I now just tell them I am not a huge texter. A lot of what I don't like is constant contact then after we meet nothing. I have to get over that absence and I don't like it.
I'm surprised so many ppl have time or energy to text all day. I hate the constant interruptions, I cant go back and forth between projects and texting stupid **** so quickly.
I can't figure out if other people feel this way, or if it's just me. I'm in my twenties, so mostly everyone communicates by texting... I actually kind of hate it. I'd rather someone just call me and talk for 20 minutes than be expected to respond to their text messages the entire rest of the day. I mean, I barely even carry my phone on me? It's always on silent and in my bag due to work/school... I just have no interest in typing out menial responses every few seconds to someone, especially if I don't know them well. Good friends are different, and I don't mind communicating with them, but I hate this expectation that once you give a guy your phone number, its open season on the text messages.
I thought it was just me, attracting oddly needy people, but I've realized that out of 5 guys in the last few months that I gave my number to (met all of them online), every single one of them has texted me all day, every day. Which actually annoys me, and makes me stop talking to them all together. The most recent one seemed great when we messaged back and forth online, but once he had my number, it was an all day text conversation until 10 oclock at night (I mean, seriously?) and then the first thing I see when I roll over in the morning is "good morning!" with a happy face, and the expectation that the conversation is now re-starting for the entire day. It actually makes me want to pull my hair out, I don't want good morning texts from a stranger.. if we're a couple that's one thing, but otherwise it's just annoying and borderline creepy. Each one of them has done that. And one of them would even follow up everything he said with a "???" if I didn't respond to the text within 20 mins
I don't mind occasional messaging, but I have a life and I can't be on my phone that often, nor do I want to be. I'm not antisocial or even introverted, I just value my time and have things to do, I don't have time for this crap. When I hear from someone that often, especially in the beginning stages, it gets annoying and I never get a chance to 'miss' them or develop anything new to tell them because they seem to want to be in constant contact. I've never ended up meeting any of these guys in person because they annoyed me too much before we even met! I felt like I knew everything about them by that point anyway, and wouldn't have anything to ask them or talk about if we did go out! Is it just because I met them online, and they really are super needy and that's why they ended up online dating?? Does anyone else feel this way? Is it just me, and this is totally normal?? How often do you text someone new, or want them to text you?
Quit giving out your number
Give out your number but explain that you do not check your phone often throughout the day so any response to a text is probably going to take several hours if not days to respond to
Turn off text
Block their number
I know how to handle it I was more or less just complaining and asking if everything by text is the new normal when it comes to getting to know people. I do set limits, but they seem to get offended that I don't want to text them while I'm at work or the gym etc, because they like to text in those settings so they don't understand why not. Not sure if it's mostly young people that do this or what.
ok, but if they txt all the time on the job, they must have a boring rather than rewarding/engaging job (ie cubicle slave who just watches the clock, waiting for the 5 oclock whistle to bolt)
If they txt all the time at the gym, they must not be getting a good workout (ie those people parked on the stationary bike, reading the newspaper, watching TV and txt'ing friends)
A guy trying to date you, of course is pissy at being SHUT DOWN. I sent a txt at 5:01pm to my #1, just to say whats up for the weekend,
she blasts 3 short replies at 5:15 and the last msg is "have a good evening!" which is telling me to get lost 'til Monday.
If you want a more tranquil txt experience, you can set some ringtone for your A-list,
and no ringtone for your B-list contacts. That way you may not feel interrupted in your routine.
Yes. This is not unique to young people anymore although it's more likely to happen with them. I've had it occur with women as old as 37 (actually she would be 39 now and was a lawyer - so it's not just vapid young people that do it).
I don't mind having text conversations - sometimes I actually like them. If it's someone you want to hear from, there can be a lot of excitement about that text message alert.
You have a point, though, about how it can become an annoyance even from someone with whom you want to maintain contact if they expect constant responses. It's that much worse if you do not desire frequent contact with someone.
I miss talking on the phone. It seems as if actually calling someone with a voice-call is too instrusive. No one wants to do it for fear it'll upset the person, bore them, or whatever else. I remember talking all night on the phone during high school with the girl I liked at the time. It was great. I get the sense that doesn't happen much anymore.
Yes. This is not unique to young people anymore although it's more likely to happen with them. I've had it occur with women as old as 37 (actually she would be 39 now and was a lawyer - so it's not just vapid young people that do it).
I don't mind having text conversations - sometimes I actually like them. If it's someone you want to hear from, there can be a lot of excitement about that text message alert.
You have a point, though, about how it can become an annoyance even from someone with whom you want to maintain contact if they expect constant responses. It's that much worse if you do not desire frequent contact with someone.
I miss talking on the phone. It seems as if actually calling someone with a voice-call is too instrusive. No one wants to do it for fear it'll upset the person, bore them, or whatever else. I remember talking all night on the phone during high school with the girl I liked at the time. It was great. I get the sense that doesn't happen much anymore.
Right? I enjoy text conversations if it's a friend or someone I have a relationship with.. when it's a stranger, it just becomes annoying because obviously the other activities in my day take precedence. I've also noticed a few times that you can have a good "text" relationship with someone (you chat easily over text, good conversation etc) but then when you meet them, they can be very different in person and you don't 'click' after all... I've kind of learned from those scenarios not to waste too much time in the text phase, I'd rather pick a day, hang out in person, and see from there if I want to keep in touch. Or god forbid, talk on the phone for 20 mins!
We had texting when I went to high school, but it was the old T9 texting where you had to keep hitting the number button to get the letter you wanted lol... needless to say, text messages were short and sweet! The guy I dated in high school used to call me in the evening and we'd stay up on the phone talking, literally all night sometimes. I notice people these days seem to almost avoid phone calls, which is strange to me. Or maybe I'm the strange one for not wanting to text 24/7, who knows.
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I was more or less just complaining and asking if everything by text is the new normal when it comes to getting to know people. I do set limits, but they seem to get offended that I don't want to text them while I'm at work or the gym etc, because they like to text in those settings so they don't understand why not. Not sure if it's mostly young people that do this or what.
