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You've known him for about 10 years so why don't you just come out and ask him exactly what you've asked forum people? Cut to the chase and have done with it. He's probably scared to death that you're really not that interested.
On the other hand, this comment sticks out, " ... I only start to think about it when I go through dating lulls (like now)." If all you're looking for is a hot trot until something better comes along then you may want to just back off - and it may be why he's staying backed off too.
All I know is that I am interested in going on a one on one date with him. Although I've known him for 10 years I've never really spent any one on one time with to know if I would be genuinely interested in becoming serious with him, but I guess that's what the dating process is about.
Also I put up a couple of pics on Facebook since I was in Atlantic City Friday night, and I just saw that he like two of them. It's like either leave me alone or bite the bullet already! Lol
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bebe182
Also I put up a couple of pics on Facebook since I was in Atlantic City Friday night, and I just saw that he like two of them. It's like either leave me alone or bite the bullet already! Lol
Maybe you are right, but maybe there is a misinterpretation of communication? Is it possible he likes you as a platonic friend and part of his social circle, but not as a dating interest?
I think you have already gone above and beyond, and to pursue more is just stupid. Be yourself when you are around him, but dont make anymore offers. Maybe in time he will commit to an offer for a date, and maybe he wont. You can be open to it, but dont sit around expecting it either. Go about your life, and keep your options open.
Maybe you are right, but maybe there is a misinterpretation of communication? Is it possible he likes you as a platonic friend and part of his social circle, but not as a dating interest?
I think you have already gone above and beyond, and to pursue more is just stupid. Be yourself when you are around him, but dont make anymore offers. Maybe in time he will commit to an offer for a date, and maybe he wont. You can be open to it, but dont sit around expecting it either. Go about your life, and keep your options open.
I'm pretty sure it's more than a platonic interest, he's texted me in the past in the evenings saying things like "thinking of you" and has expressed interest to my best friends husband, also when I do see him I constantly catch him staring at me.
I tend to think if a guy is interested he will make it happen. This guy isn't doing that. Regardless of whether he seems interested, he isn't actually taking any action beyond texting you. Move on to someone who will actually do something.
I tend to think if a guy is interested he will make it happen. This guy isn't doing that. Regardless of whether he seems interested, he isn't actually taking any action beyond texting you. Move on to someone who will actually do something.
I know you're right, its just hard to come to terms with after 10 years of feeling that there was this unspoken thing between us that I always thought was mutual. Thing is I have had several relationships through those 10 years, and he has remained single, maybe that alone speak volumes about him.
Worst part about it is I can't even vent to my best friend, because I don't really want her to know about all this becaue I'd like to keep her and her husband out of it as much as possible, since I have experienced first hand these tricky situations when friends get involved in my past relationships.
He's had 10 years and 2 heartbreaks. People go through heartache. That's not a new phenomenon.
He sounds like he's holding onto emotional baggage.
The ever so frequent text messages, "thinking of you".. I wonder how many people he sent that to?
And, via text doesn't sound very personal.
A more personal approach would be: "Yo Sandy. Wanna grab a bite? Get some drinks and catch a flick?"
He doesn't have to make it a 5 course evening meal at the grand resort or lifetime commitment. It's just hanging out 1-on-1.
But, since friends are involved, gets tricky when the pressure placed on him could be higher, and cycling through the list can't be as casual.
Either way- no action = no excuse. Sorry. The amount of time you've spent on thinking about what he's thinking, you're better off utilizing your time for doing something you're into or spending that time with someone who's actually willing to make it happen.
He's had 10 years and 2 heartbreaks. People go through heartache. That's not a new phenomenon.
He sounds like he's holding onto emotional baggage.
The ever so frequent text messages, "thinking of you".. I wonder how many people he sent that to?
And, via text doesn't sound very personal.
A more personal approach would be: "Yo Sandy. Wanna grab a bite? Get some drinks and catch a flick?"
He doesn't have to make it a 5 course evening meal at the grand resort or lifetime commitment. It's just hanging out 1-on-1.
But, since friends are involved, gets tricky when the pressure placed on him could be higher, and cycling through the list can't be as casual.
Either way- no action = no excuse. Sorry. The amount of time you've spent on thinking about what he's thinking, you're better off utilizing your time for doing something you're into or spending that time with someone who's actually willing to make it happen.
I really don't think he's got a slew of other women, I've known him 10 years and have never seen him with another girl, even though he's seen me with other guys. He's extremely shy went it comes to women, and just in general. My best friend's husband also hasn't really seen him with any girls....and that's his best friend.
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