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I went on 2 dates with someone who seemed fairly interested in me. I never showed an insane amount of interest, but I never acted cold either. I displayed excitement when we met in person but when it came to texts I acted relatively neutral with my responses. I also told him that I was seeing someone who he happened to know, but I told him that it wasn't really working out between us. (I probably should've kept my mouth shut about that.)
Anyway, he reached out on my birthday and asked me out on a 3rd date. I said "Sounds great to me, thanks for the birthday wishes!" But I never heard from him after that. I thought about reaching out, but I figured if he was really interested then he'll be the one to follow through.
One month later he invites me to his birthday party. I end up going with 2 friends and he's excited to see me, hugs me, talks to me, but he doesn't mention anything about dating again. Instead he asks me "how come a girl like me isn't wifed up yet". I just laughed it off and smiled. He was quite drunk that night.
One week later he thanks me for coming to his birthday and that it was a pleasure to have me. One week after that, he invites me to an event by the beach. "You should come hang out on Sunday if you aren't busy.." I wasn't sure if he was inviting me to come alone, or if he expected me to come with friends. Either way, I didn't go because I wasn't feeling well that day and I told him that. I also made it a point to keep the conversation going, so he could see that I was still interested. That was a week ago. Haven't heard from him since.
What do you think is going on? Does he just want to be friends? I'm a little confused by his actions. I probably should be moving on but I'd love to know your thoughts about my situation. Thanks!
I went on 2 dates with someone who seemed fairly interested in me. I never showed an insane amount of interest, but I never acted cold either. I displayed excitement when we met in person but when it came to texts I acted relatively neutral with my responses. I also told him that I was seeing someone who he happened to know, but I told him that it wasn't really working out between us. (I probably should've kept my mouth shut about that.)
Anyway, he reached out on my birthday and asked me out on a 3rd date. I said "Sounds great to me, thanks for the birthday wishes!" But I never heard from him after that. I thought about reaching out, but I figured if he was really interested then he'll be the one to follow through.
One month later he invites me to his birthday party. I end up going with 2 friends and he's excited to see me, hugs me, talks to me, but he doesn't mention anything about dating again. Instead he asks me "how come a girl like me isn't wifed up yet". I just laughed it off and smiled. He was quite drunk that night.
One week later he thanks me for coming to his birthday and that it was a pleasure to have me. One week after that, he invites me to an event by the beach. "You should come hang out on Sunday if you aren't busy.." I wasn't sure if he was inviting me to come alone, or if he expected me to come with friends. Either way, I didn't go because I wasn't feeling well that day and I told him that. I also made it a point to keep the conversation going, so he could see that I was still interested. That was a week ago. Haven't heard from him since.
What do you think is going on? Does he just want to be friends? I'm a little confused by his actions. I probably should be moving on but I'd love to know your thoughts about my situation. Thanks!
His invitation to me sounds cordial. I think he was trying to break the awkwardness that things didn't work out, and tried not to be rude throughout the process by trying to stay friendly while not appearing to string you along and inadvertently doing so, clumsily.
He reached out to you on your b-day and did not follow through? Forget him.
I also told him that I was seeing someone who he happened to know, but I told him that it wasn't really working out between us. (I probably should've kept my mouth shut about that.)
it sounds like he is following the man code, because you are dating someone who is probably a friend of his. basically this is where since you are dating the one guy already, and this guy is the newer one, he is backing off with you until you break up with your other guy, and he gets permission from the other guy to date you.
it sounds like he is following the man code, because you are dating someone who is probably a friend of his. basically this is where since you are dating the one guy already, and this guy is the newer one, he is backing off with you until you break up with your other guy, and he gets permission from the other guy to date you.
How much interest should she expect after that? In reality... none.... if the guy is decent. If he is a dog, then he will continue sniffing, whether or not she is dating a friend.
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How much interest should she expect after that? In reality... none.... if the guy is decent. If he is a dog, then he will continue sniffing, whether or not she is dating a friend.
for now not much. but if she decides to break up with her current guy, then perhaps the new guy will show more interest.
She already told him it wasn't working out between them two.
Funny how dating can get territorial, even if the girl was casually dating the other guy or talking to him.. makes the girl look bad when she decided she wasn't interested, and makes the other guy look worse, because he is. Doesn't make him a dog or her a b-word, and doesn't make their mutual interest taboo.
She said it wasn't working out, but didn't say she had stopped seeing him.
OP, make it clear you've stopped seeing the other guy (if indeed you have...which you should if it's not working out).
This guy is still trying to keep in touch somewhat regularly, and men rarely do that when there is no attraction/interest.
He's doing what I call "testing the water" with a woman he likes, but is unsure if she likes him. Every now & then he checks in to see where you are at - are you available, showing increased interest in him, etc. I think you should just be clear that you like him, if you do.
If he is the rare type who just wants to be friends (since he mostly invites you to group things), then if I were you, I'd keep accepting invites as its a good way to expand your social circle & maybe meet someone else.
Wow so much drama. This sounds like something from a soap opera. I don't understand why people have such a difficult time of using the direct approach, just come out and ask, or say you're interested in that person. So you say it isn't working out with the person you're currently seeing? Then break it off! Why drag it out? Are you really interested in this other guy? Then ask him. From what little is here it could be that he just thinks of you as a friend, but you'll never know for sure until you ask.
I went on 2 dates with someone who seemed fairly interested in me. I never showed an insane amount of interest, but I never acted cold either. I displayed excitement when we met in person but when it came to texts I acted relatively neutral with my responses. I also told him that I was seeing someone who he happened to know, but I told him that it wasn't really working out between us. (I probably should've kept my mouth shut about that.)
If you were to have showed an "insane" amount of interest then he'll get the clue faster, as will 99% of the male population. Good job on staying "neutral" on the texts, the phone is used for setting up dates not making small talk. The thing about telling him that you're seeing one of his friends is probably a bad idea, bros before h*es.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsLili84
Anyway, he reached out on my birthday and asked me out on a 3rd date. I said "Sounds great to me, thanks for the birthday wishes!" But I never heard from him after that. I thought about reaching out, but I figured if he was really interested then he'll be the one to follow through.
Well did you meet up with him at x place? If not, then you just flaked on him without knowing it. Which portrays about 95% disinterest.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsLili84
One month later he invites me to his birthday party. I end up going with 2 friends and he's excited to see me, hugs me, talks to me, but he doesn't mention anything about dating again. Instead he asks me "how come a girl like me isn't wifed up yet". I just laughed it off and smiled. He was quite drunk that night.
It's pretty obvious he's still into you, especially since he gave himself away with a statement like that. Good thing you're into him or you would be next-ing immediately.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsLili84
One week later he thanks me for coming to his birthday and that it was a pleasure to have me. One week after that, he invites me to an event by the beach. "You should come hang out on Sunday if you aren't busy.." I wasn't sure if he was inviting me to come alone, or if he expected me to come with friends. Either way, I didn't go because I wasn't feeling well that day and I told him that. I also made it a point to keep the conversation going, so he could see that I was still interested. That was a week ago. Haven't heard from him since.
Again you just, or for the first time, flaked on him. You need to COUNTER OFFER if you cannot show up on the designated date/time he suggests. Now a man in his center will obviously counter offer your counter off but that's just how it is. If you don't bring up a counter offer, that means disinterest. That texting to keep the "Convo" going, without bringing up anything for a future date, is friend zone status 101. You showed this guy disinterest without even knowing it; you trying to not "display an insane amount of interest" backfired and you've know shot yourself in the foot.
Don't be afraid to express interest.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsLili84
What do you think is going on? Does he just want to be friends? I'm a little confused by his actions. I probably should be moving on but I'd love to know your thoughts about my situation. Thanks!
No, he likes you. But you're actions are telling him that you're friend-zoning HIM. If you were to have simply made it obvious that you were interested you two would be sucking face at a drive-in theater right now.
You will most likley never know, this is part of dating. It could be that he had a date in the interim with someone he felt more chemistry with and has nothing to do with you. IMO 2 dates it too little to allow yourself to get attached to someone, there shouldn't after 2 dates be anything to "let go" of. Especially if he waited a month between the last 2 dates, it doesn't sound like he was ever really that into you. Not trying to be harsh, just to wake you up so you'll at least save your self-respect in this case and not hang out with him nor contact him anymore. There's a saying "Lukewarm men don't heat up" and my own experiences back that up.
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