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Old 12-23-2007, 02:06 PM
 
419 posts, read 2,015,126 times
Reputation: 386

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This board is full of people who complain about terrible wives, husband, coworkers, ex's, mean supervisors and terrible neighbors. While I am sure that some of the people are not that bad, just a case of a personality conflict, I do believe that many people are just plain mean.

What is the personal perspective of these mean people? Do they believe that they are bad or mean in their behavior to other human beings? Or do they truly believe it is the other person's fault? Or do they believe the other person deserved the beating, or screaming fit or cruel comment, etc.?

Have you ever sat down with a mean person and tried to get into their head? Will they ever admit to being mean?
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Old 12-23-2007, 05:54 PM
 
768 posts, read 2,096,253 times
Reputation: 436
The one person I have asked about her cruel behavior is my MIL. To my face her behavior was fine but behind my back she was obnoxious & scheming and then her behavior became outrageous. I wanted to talk to her about it so I chose one incident--the most recent and the worst--and asked her why she had done such a hurtful thing. At first she completely denied that she had done anything wrong. Finally she admitted that she had done it because she had wanted to hurt me because I had "stolen" her son from her. In her mind, that was 1) true (which it wasn't, because my insisting was the only reason she had seen him as much as she had) and 2) justified any actions she took. Her crazy behavior was what caused us to sever ties with her, but she refused to believe that or see that. She preferred the version that said that I stole her son from her.
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Old 12-23-2007, 07:35 PM
 
Location: NoVa
18,432 posts, read 34,241,273 times
Reputation: 19814
Hmm. I think that mean people may not know they are mean. Continue to be the way they are, because it is normal behavior for them, then again, maybe they are plain ole stinkin mean....

And like to be that way!
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Old 12-24-2007, 08:21 AM
 
Location: Miramar Beach, FL
2,040 posts, read 3,853,360 times
Reputation: 934
I think a lot of your character stems from childhood and things that you had endured or encountered that make some people the way they are. The "mean" employer that had been so rude to me had a mother that treated her the same way when I had met her parents once.
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Old 12-24-2007, 10:03 AM
 
Location: earth
463 posts, read 643,625 times
Reputation: 62
My friends always tell me how crude and mean i am. I always figured I was one of the more nicer people on earth....
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Old 12-24-2007, 10:21 AM
 
Location: The #1 sunshine state, Arizona.
12,169 posts, read 17,595,085 times
Reputation: 64102
I don't think many people are mean all the time. We all have bad days. When I'm short with someone I'm aware of how I feel. Some days I have more patience than other days.
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Old 12-24-2007, 11:25 AM
 
6,565 posts, read 14,256,342 times
Reputation: 3229
Yeah how would I know??? If I'm mean and nobody tells me then I don't think I'm mean....
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Old 12-24-2007, 03:31 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
4,739 posts, read 8,354,431 times
Reputation: 2979
I think the meanest person I have ever had to be around was this power lifter guy that ate steroids like candy, his mood was so unpredictable. I know he thought he was a good guy but no one could stand him.
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Old 12-24-2007, 04:22 PM
 
21,897 posts, read 19,043,939 times
Reputation: 18026
My experience with mean people is:
1. they justify their meanness as the other person deserves it, they blame the other person.
2. they are really unhappy and bitter with their own life and their own circumstances
3. they are cut off from their own feelings, numb, so see no problem inflicting pain on others
4. they don't have a conscience so it doesn't bother them they hurt others
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Old 12-24-2007, 04:25 PM
 
21,897 posts, read 19,043,939 times
Reputation: 18026
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnyDayNow View Post
The one person I have asked about her cruel behavior is my MIL. At first she completely denied that she had done anything wrong. Finally she admitted that she had done it because she had wanted to hurt me because I had "stolen" her son from her. In her mind, that was 1) true (which it wasn't, because my insisting was the only reason she had seen him as much as she had) and 2) justified any actions she took. Her crazy behavior was what caused us to sever ties with her, but she refused to believe that or see that. She preferred the version that said that I stole her son from her.
This sounds EXACTLY like my ex-mother-in-law. And my mother too. Both were very hateful, bitter people. My mother resented that I had "left her" to get married. My mother-in-law saw me as taking her son away. The worst was after the divorce she took my sons to the park (they were age 4, 4, and 6 at the time) and told them to pretend I was DEAD, that then they would be better off. Later I found out she was actually a psychopath also.
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