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I met someone online, and our messages were great.. we really seemed to click, and appeared to share a lot of the same values. He seemed like a good and normal guy, so we moved onto texting in order to make plans to get together and meet. We made tentative plans for this weekend, but in the mean time, he was still texting me and I started noticing some red flags. I didn't really like the direction the 'conversation' was heading, and I decided (for a few different reasons) that he wasn't really a good match for me. I didn't want to lead him on until the weekend and then cancel last minute or something, so I told him nicely (still via text, since that was his preferred method of contact) that I was thinking about everything and just didn't feel we would be a good match in the long run, and I didn't want to lead him on by keeping our plans.. but that I wished him the best.
Well, apparently some people can't handle a polite back-out! I get this ginormous long text message back (I seriously had to scroll forever just to read it) essentially telling me I was making 'the biggest mistake of my life', and that he was the 'best guy I would ever find' and yadda yadda... The weird part is, I've encountered this before! Other guys, upon me politely declining to continue pursuing things, start ranting through text or giving me "I'm the best guy you'd ever find" crap. Which first of all, is so not true.. but secondly, proves that I made the right choice in cutting them out! (For the record, this was not me being flaky, this was me canceling in response to some messed up beliefs he holds that came out in our conversation, which included him asking me sexual questions that I declined to answer, and then ranting about how he only wants to date a virgin and he hopes I'm a virgin (yes, really) and a few other things that were just plain weird and implied I should run for the hills).
I get it, rejection sucks, especially if it's from someone you liked... I've gotten it too! But the difference is I don't take it personally, and I just assume that for whatever reason, the person feels we're not a match. I usually thank them for being honest (aka not wasting my time or leading me on), and wish them the best, because I do! I don't understand why people get so bitter over this sort of thing. It usually just reaffirms that they're dating online for a reason, and reflects some personality traits I wouldn't want to involve myself with anyway As of this morning, I actually deleted my profile because I find I keep encountering a lot of really crazy and narcissistic guys online, whereas this doesn't seem to happen to me in person. Hopefully I'll have better luck in the real world, I don't know. Has anyone else encountered people who throw temper tantrums over canceled plans or not wanting to continue things?
Well, alot of people turn to online dating because they were striking out in real life AND they don't expect to get rejected online. And when they do get rejected online, it's like "I got rejected? How dare they reject me!" To be rejected online is probably the lowest anyone could sink. I have to admit that I never tried online dating so I don't know if my ASSUMPTION is correct but that's what i expect.
Well, really, all you had to do to get out of it is tell him you're not a virgin. Seems like that would have ended it pretty tidily. He sounds like a creep.
It's because you "rejected" him without even having met in person. His ego couldn't handle the idea that his personality was a turn-off before you met.
It's because you "rejected" him without even having met in person. His ego couldn't handle the idea that his personality was a turn-off before you met.
And/or maybe he's mad at himself for screwing up. Guys really think it's ok to ask a woman sexual questions on the first date, or even before meeting? REALLY??? What are these guys thinking?!
And/or maybe he's mad at himself for screwing up. Guys really think it's ok to ask a woman sexual questions on the first date, or even before meeting? REALLY??? What are these guys thinking?!
Shoot, women ask me sexual questions all the time when I meet them. I guess it depends on the woman.
It might be funny to respond with, "Can I change my answer? You sound great, and you're right, I am a cow who doesn't know what she's missing!" I wonder how they'd react.
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As of this morning, I actually deleted my profile because I find I keep encountering a lot of really crazy and narcissistic guys online, whereas this doesn't seem to happen to me in person. Hopefully I'll have better luck in the real world, I don't know. Has anyone else encountered people who throw temper tantrums over canceled plans or not wanting to continue things?
