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Some pretty harsh things are being said about shy people here....
It depends on the degree of shyness. I think the majority of people have SOME shyness to them, at least in certain circumstances. But VERY shy people are just too much work. You have to GIVE something to GET something.
I'm shy at first... I don't walk into a room acting like the big ballin pimp... but I guarantee you that I bring a lot to the table after you get to know me a little bit... I just resent all these negative stereotypes about shy people......
Heck.... a lot of people that are extroverted and outgoing don't really have a lot happening under the hood... they just seem like they do... not all of of course... but just because someone is mouthy and talkative don't be fooled....... all that glitters is not gold... as the old saying goes.......
Still waters run deep is another one that has a ring of truth to it......
That's all I'm saying......
Last edited by Chowhound; 08-29-2014 at 11:08 PM..
I'm wondering to what extent I can be considered extremely shy. At work I often times make conversation in some way with co-workers I don't know. I've probably started conversations with 5 or 6 different women at my work in the past 6 months ? But it's just casual stuff, I'm not hitting on them.
But sometimes I'm very quiet, I'll be in a group of people who are talking and not say a word. And I can also be very awkward and stutter sometimes out of anxiety. *shrugs*. It depends on my mood a lot.
In high school I was more shy and never got a girlfriend, but I always gave off a lot of positive energy, so much so that I actually felt quite liked. I had a couple girls ask me for my number, but it never turned into anything.
I'm shy at first... I don't walk into a room acting like the big ballin pimp... but I guarantee you that I bring a lot to the table after you get to know me a little bit... I just resent all these negative stereotypes about shy people......
Heck.... a lot of people that are extroverted and outgoing don't really have a lot happening under the hood... they just seem like they do... not all of of course... but just because someone is mouthy and talkative don't be fooled....... all that glitters is not gold... as the old saying goes.......
Still waters run deep is another one that has a ring of truth to it......
That's all I'm saying......
There is also the same stereotype being propogated here, that extroverts are "big ballin pimps". By saying this, you are doing the exact same thing you are complaining about others doing about shy people.
I dated a shy guy for several months. I did get annoyed at parties and get-togethers I invited him to...if I walked away to go to the bathroom, get a drink, whatever, I'd come back to find him holding up the wall and I felt like I had to almost babysit him because he needed an "escort" socially. I myself could walk into a wedding where I didn't know anyone, and have conversations with half the guests within a few minutes. It just turned me off in some way that he appeared so frightened to do something as benign as to go talk to people I already introduced him to.
This is not saying he's not as good as anyone else, etc. It just doesn't work for ME, I prefer someone who is confident and can hold his own socially, just as I do. There is nothing wrong with wanting someone like yourself, and it doesn't make me biased or prejudiced against shy people in the slightest.
I can walk up to everybody at a meetup or planned get together, talk to strangers at bars, and chat up people at parties.
Half the time people don't even want to talk to me. It's kind of how people are.
I was once on vacation by myself in a foreign country and went to a bar and an American couple walked in. We were pretty much the only people who spoke English in the whole place. They still didn't want to talk to me. I mean the boyfriend had a few curt responses to me, but the girlfriend looked at me like why is this guy trying to talk to us. That kind of stuff has happened a lot.
So, you see, if you are truly shy, then it's a handicap. Of course, if you're a pretty woman, it doesn't matter as much as if you're some short, pudgy shmo. Not rocket science.
There is also the same stereotype being propogated here, that extroverts are "big ballin pimps". By saying this, you are doing the exact same thing you are complaining about others doing about shy people.
I dated a shy guy for several months. I did get annoyed at parties and get-togethers I invited him to...if I walked away to go to the bathroom, get a drink, whatever, I'd come back to find him holding up the wall and I felt like I had to almost babysit him because he needed an "escort" socially. I myself could walk into a wedding where I didn't know anyone, and have conversations with half the guests within a few minutes. It just turned me off in some way that he appeared so frightened to do something as benign as to go talk to people I already introduced him to.
This is not saying he's not as good as anyone else, etc. It just doesn't work for ME, I prefer someone who is confident and can hold his own socially, just as I do. There is nothing wrong with wanting someone like yourself, and it doesn't make me biased or prejudiced against shy people in the slightest.
A guy is shy? He'll have a h*ll of a time finding a woman since women don't even want to start a conversation with men anyway. He'll be lucky if he finds someone.
Shy woman? That's fine, women can afford to be shy since it's the men's job to do all the initiating. She'll be a h*ll of a lot better off than a shy man that's for damn sure. All she has to do is put herself in situations where men can approach her.
There is also the same stereotype being propogated here, that extroverts are "big ballin pimps". By saying this, you are doing the exact same thing you are complaining about others doing about shy people.
I dated a shy guy for several months. I did get annoyed at parties and get-togethers I invited him to...if I walked away to go to the bathroom, get a drink, whatever, I'd come back to find him holding up the wall and I felt like I had to almost babysit him because he needed an "escort" socially. I myself could walk into a wedding where I didn't know anyone, and have conversations with half the guests within a few minutes. It just turned me off in some way that he appeared so frightened to do something as benign as to go talk to people I already introduced him to.
This is not saying he's not as good as anyone else, etc. It just doesn't work for ME, I prefer someone who is confident and can hold his own socially, just as I do. There is nothing wrong with wanting someone like yourself, and it doesn't make me biased or prejudiced against shy people in the slightest.
Of course I know I was generalizing... I'm gonna go on and do it some more.
The problem is that people talk way too much, and they talk and talk and talk and yet they say nothing......
I can and do make simple conversation, my shy levels are just in the very beginning... I get your point, no one wants a scared wall flower.
I'd still rather take a scared wall flower over the obnoxious bore that won't shut the hell up....
A guy is shy? He'll have a h*ll of a time finding a woman since women don't even want to start a conversation with men anyway. He'll be lucky if he finds someone.
Shy woman? That's fine, women can afford to be shy since it's the men's job to do all the initiating. She'll be a h*ll of a lot better off than a shy man that's for damn sure. All she has to do is put herself in situations where men can approach her.
I'm shy and I can talk to people.
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