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The other day he told me his ex asked him to meet her for she was leaving the city soon, so he hanged out with her a couple of days. He said she's very nice and he would like to care her as his best friend, but he doesn't love her like that any more, now just friends.
When people say this - there's a 90% chance that sex will occur. There is no effing way that 2 people who had a sexual relationship are going to "hang out for a couple days" and not have sex. When I've hung out with my exes - it leads to sex most of the time, until the ex gets coupled again. Usually, that physical and emotional longing is why exes want to hang out with each other in the first place.
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Then i told him I couldn't accept that he's being close with me and at the same time he's sleeping with his ex.
What obligation does he have to you? So he's hung out with you and you guys have talked in a somewhat intimate or emotional manner. Have you had sex? Your post suggests no, but I'm not sure. If you've had sex than I can see why you feel upset. Still, whether you have or not, he clearly never made a verbal commitment to you and so his response is right on the money - you are his friend and thus not in the position to dictate who he does or does not see.
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Then I asked him whether his ex knows about us he said no, and asked me not to tell her (as I'm friend of her as well).
This sounds like he's trying to have his cake an eat it too. It's a little fishy that he doesn't want the ex to know that you and he hang out.
I've been in very similar situations. I learned my mistake the hard way NOT to let a female friend sooth my relationship woes (by thinking I would move on to her, then having to deal with the drama when I did not). Now I make it very clear to any female "friend that I share feelings with" [you] that I am not angling to become her next boyfriend and I never touch her. Usually, that results in the girl in question to stop talking to me, but it resolves the issue of being anxious of the ex, or whatever other girl, finding out, because "female friend" is indeed a friend and there's nothing to hide.
I don't think he's using you, but my intuition tells me that you're his 2nd choice. If you want to be his girlfriend, move on, he obviously doesn't want that. If you are okay with being his friend, don't worry about it and just be his friend.
Once a cheater, always a cheater. He doesn't care about anything but himself.
You were hanging out with him before he broke up with his ex, so basically he was cheating on her. Why are you so surprised he would turn around and cheat on you, too?
That's is sooooo not true.
Anyways, OP. I think you were a rebound due to his heartbreak. You were available and you were the closest to him. If you want to be friends with him, I would recommend doing it, however, just keep your distance with him as far as catching feelings for him. YOu sound very nice and you should have no trouble finding an equally nice guy.
We started texting and hanging out often when he had an difficult time with his ex. And when they finally broke up we became really close.
I knew he felt painful about the broke up, so I'm always there for him. We've built an emotional bond. We texted all the time and shared everything, and we hang out one on one a lot. He also introduced his best mates to me. We also share a same room when we were on a trip.
The other day he told me his ex asked him to meet her for she was leaving the city soon, so he hanged out with her a couple of days. He said she's very nice and he would like to care her as his best friend, but he doesn't love her like that any more, now just friends. So i'm cool with it.
But he didn't told me that he actually KISSED and HAD SEX with her during those days. I found it out from his texts with her (sorry I knew it's not good). I asked him why he did that now that they're just friends, he simply said he knew it wasn't good but she's really beautiful and he couldn't help.
Then i told him I couldn't accept that he's being close with me and at the same time he's sleeping with his ex. Then he said we're just friends now and he doesn't have any obligation to me. Then I asked him whether his ex knows about us he said no, and asked me not to tell her (as I'm friend of her as well).
I'm really upset know, what should I do?
Hi and welcome.
So he's your friend's ex and your friend doesn't know you and him are an item?
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