Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Nila, I can't speak for most people but I can speak for myself,
The reason you see such a spike in people expressing how they are afraid of love because it is an extremely painful thing when it is taken away from you. When you are happy and believe you have someone who you love and they love you, it's an amazing feeling, and you don't want it to be taken away. When it is, it's devastating. Partly because most of the people who get into these kinds of relationships don't know how to make themselves happy.
In my experience, I got really stuck on this one guy. Whenever I would hear from him it would make my day 100x's better. Nothing could bring me down. I was very naive and thought I was going to eventually be with him at some point. You know my story, I remember having this conversation with you a while ago. It hurt a lot when things finally ended between, even though were never official, I was just a lonely girl with a crush.
You hear about people cheating more a lot on social media and when you see things like that constantly it makes you think everyone is the same and no one is trust worthy. I don't believe I fell in love, but I got a taste of what it feels like to be close to someone and then you lose them. From how I felt and what people my age and older have told me, it's incredibly painful and can take years to get over, especially when you find yourself unable to feel that way for anyone else. So it's not the vulnerability and intimacy they are afraid of. It's the pain of losing it.
Thanks, Aurelia, for you well-thought-out reply.
I guess I just grew up with the idea that heartbreak was a normal part of life. Sure it hurts, and takes a long time to get over, but it happens to everyone, usually several times. It's not really avoidable. Most people get in a car crash at some point, too, or have a house fire, but they still drive and live in houses .
Quote:
Things seemed to have changed big time compared to what you are talking about. As far as growing up without any real bonds with people, my parents weren't really around when I was child, they were always working and any time we would spend time together it was awkward. That probably screwed up my ability to get close to people. When they split I felt even more alone. I made a world for myself, without any other people.
I had friends and things like that but as far as having a real bond. I can't say I have had that. That's my experience.
Wow, I am sorry. My friendships in grade school and in my teens were very intense and emotionally intimate. Do you think that your generation, when you were kids, did not have enough unscheduled time for that kind of closeness to develop?
raena, i fully agree with you that we can have true intimacy again, but i think that to get there it will take a massive upheaval in society to get there, something like a world war, to focus peoples attention on what is really important.
raena, i fully agree with you that we can have true intimacy again, but i think that to get there it will take a massive upheaval in society to get there, something like a world war, to focus peoples attention on what is really important.
I guess I just grew up with the idea that heartbreak was a normal part of life. Sure it hurts, and takes a long time to get over, but it happens to everyone, usually several times. It's not really avoidable. Most people get in a car crash at some point, too, or have a house fire, but they still drive and live in houses .
Wow, I am sorry. My friendships in grade school and in my teens were very intense and emotionally intimate. Do you think that your generation, when you were kids, did not have enough unscheduled time for that kind of closeness to develop?
Yes I agree.....heart break is a part of life.
I just believe you have to be a really strong individual to get through it. Which is why I said people jump into relationships without first learning how to be happy with themselves. I would think getting through a break up wouldn't be as hard to deal with if you enjoy your own company. It would still hurt just not nearly as bad.
I am still best friends with a girl I knew from elementary, and she really is the only person I can call my TRUE friend. Everyone else I talk to from time to time are just associates. People drift in out of life everyday so you can't get too attached. I grew up on drawing, cartoons, and video games. I played outside every now and then but I don't believe it would've made much of a difference.
Parents are usually the first people you develop a bond with and since mine weren't really INVOLVED with me I never developed the capability of bonding with others. It's pretty hard to explain. I'll just end up rambling lol.
I know it's fashionable and all to say that people don't connect because they spend all their time texting and whatever, but I just don't see it. I have met some awesome friends online, and all the modern electronic ways of keeping in touch just make it easier to stay close to people I know IRL.
i think they are too self absorbed to be self absorbed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones
I know it's fashionable and all to say that people don't connect because they spend all their time texting and whatever, but I just don't see it. I have met some awesome friends online, and all the modern electronic ways of keeping in touch just make it easier to stay close to people I know IRL.
connecting isnt the problem, its connecting on a much deeper level than they are now.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.
